Car borrowing etiquette

It is very rude to borrow a car and not fill the tank before returning it, or at least put in a couple of gallons if it's only driven around town. Friends who return a car near-empty or who suggest you fill the tank are rude, thoughtless, and inconsiderate. I suggest you make a new rule that the car can be borrowed only on condition that the borrower fill the tank before it's returned. Sheesh - who raised these people?! 

Your "friends" are either clueless or deliberately taking advantage of your generosity.  Haven't they ever rented a car commercially?  The requirement there is to return the car with a full tank or pay the car rental company for the gas consumed.  You really need to speak up when you hand over the keys.  Say something like, "The gas tank is full, and we'd appreciate it if you'd refill it before you return it to us."  

First of all, yes, there is a nice way to tell friends to refill the gas tank.  It goes like this: "Please refill the gas tank before you return the car."

However, these do not sound like responsible friends, and you are risking them damaging the car in some way; ie. denting it, staining the seats, hitting another car, racking up parking tickets, etc.. If I were you, I would put an end to loaning it out with the following: "We are getting ready to sell the car, and aren't loaning it out anymore. It is too much of a liability."  End stop.
 

I don't get why you need to be nice about it or not appear petty. If i borrow a car, I return it gassed up, that's just common courtesy. I don't know how to say something like this nicely, I'd just be like "seriously, why don't you fill it up and bring it back then?!" 

Make your expectations clear to those who seem unaware - let them know kindly that they are expected to refill the tank before returning it. You may think it is normal etiquette and they are being selfish, etc. but they may think that the car is just sitting there unused by you so it makes no difference how much gas is in there.  

If you aren't using the car, don't fill up the tank. Tell the next person who wants to borrow it, "Sure, go ahead, but there's no gas in it, so you'll have to fill it."  What is the borrower going to say -- "Oh, no, I only wanted the car if it had a full tank"?  If they are returning it empty, they can start out with it empty, is my opinion.

Also, if your friends know each other, you could even say, "Sure, but John returned it empty, so you'll have to fill it."  Let that friend bug John, if so inclined.  

I agree, the etiquette ABSOLUTELY is to return the car with at LEAST as much gas as it started with (if it was me, I'd fill the tank, out of gratitude for the free use of it).  But if you don't want to police that (and it sounds like you'd have to), then go with my option.  

You are so nice to lend your car to friends. I generally don’t lend my car to any friends just so I can avoid the issues you mentioned, not to mention liability, what happens if the friend crashes/scratches the car, or worse, hits another car or person etc? We have only let family use our second car and they always fill with gas and sometimes wash it too before returning. Since you’ve already set a precedent and friends expect you to say yes when they ask, the only thing to do is to say no to everyone. Just say you are getting the car ready to sell, so you don’t want to lend it out. And go and sell that car. It really does not take that long! As for your friends who use your car and don’t even bother to fill up the gas tank, hesitate twice or thrice before lending them anything else, as they will treat anything you lend to them with the same lack of gratitude. 

"Hey, can I borrow your car on Friday?"

"Sure, but please be sure to return it with a full gas tank."

Nothing complicated or "not nice" about that.

By the way, you should also be asking your friends to show you their license and proof of their insurance (and making sure you're comfortable with their liability limits).  Anyone who gets upset by that isn't someone you want to lend your car to.

Your "friends" are rude and entitled. It's friendly and generous to lend your car out; their rudeness has you worried about seeming "petty" and playing "favorites."

You don't have to be a doormat to be nice.

• Contact your insurance company and ask if other drivers are covered when borrowing the car. That way you'll know your coverage for certain.
• The nice way to ask friends before loaning the car is to say directly, "It would be great if you can return it with the gas tank at the same level, and clean." Let them know your expectations up front. Don't loan the car to those who don't comply. You are doing people a favor!
• When rude repeat borrowers ask for the car you say (very pleasantly), "I'm sorry, it's not available." Remember, you don't need to give people excuses or explanations. It's your car; "No" covers it. Only if you want to do you need to add: "You know, I don't really have time or money to refill it and vacuum it, which is what I had to do last time you borrowed it. Sorry."

Will some people be angry or offended? Sure! But they've already shown how much they actually care about you. Do you need these people in your life? Not really.

Easy fix - leave the car at Buggy Bank (bubbybank.org) and problem solved!

We have folks borrow our car all the time and I've never had that issue but I think some people are just clueless. they aren't trying to use you, they just truly don't know the obvious. if someone asks to borrow it, i would just say in a nice voice, "Sure, no problem, just please bring make sure it has a full tank when you bring it back. thanks!" . If they forget, call them and say, "I think you forgot. please fill it up." and if you want to charge for wear/tear or cleaning, just let them know, "so many people have been borrowing it which we are fine with, but we're asking that people contribute X amt toward wear and tear."

"We have multiple people using the car for different purposes so please don't forget to fill it up before you return it. Thanks!"

I thought that it was common knowledge that you always return a car in a better condition than it was when you borrowed it. It would never occur to me not to at least fill the tank with gas, wash the windshield, and pick up the inside. You're doing them a favor, it shouldn't cost you money! I hope that you looked at that one guy with shock and horror when he told you that the tank was empty. Not only are they using the gas, they're putting miles and wear and tear on the car and you run the risk of them getting in a wreck and completely devaluing the car. 

In my opinion, the days of lending the car out should be over. You should get it detailed and ready to sell and tell anyone who asks that it needs to stay perfect until it's sold and no one is driving it any more than necessary. Or you could just stop lending it to the free loaders, I wouldn't have a problem at all with telling them that you just don't have the funds to subsidize their trips. Especially the guy who brought it back running on fumes. He sounds like a really terrible person and it's hard to believe that he would be missed as a friend.

I lent my car to my eight month pregnant friend. She returned it full of gas and spotless. She even vacuumed it herself. That's what a good person does.

Hi! I can relate. I had the same type of problem, although it was letting a friend stay with me when she was in a jam but she always left her dirty dishes and didn't replenish any tp, dish soap, etc that she used. You are being so generous, and yes, it should be common courtesy to clean and replenish gas. All this use is putting wear and tear on the car you are trying to sell. I would tell everyone you took it off the insurance to save money, and are selling it and that you are unable to lend it out, end of story. Try to just sell it asap. Perhaps check Buggy Bank in Berkeley. The car stays there and they sell it for you. Your so called friends need to do Zip car or whatever they need to do on their own!!!! Good luck

Personally, I would just say no as I wouldn't want the liability but that wasn't the question you asked....When the person asks to use your car, I would simply state in an off hand way that because so many people have been borrowing the car, you have established some ground rules: Please return the car clean with a full tank of gas and ask them if that is ok. 

I'm sorry it sounds as though you feel taken advantage of.  I was in a similar position when I had an extra car for a while. I had purchased a new car and intended the 16 year old station wagon for my son.  My son decided to delay getting a driver's license, so the car was basically unused by family.

I suggest that when someone asks to borrow the car, in a direct and straight forward manner, state your expectation that the car be returned with a full gas tank (regardless of the gas level when they picked it up).  If they do not return it with a full tank, the next time they ask, in a direct and straight forward manner, politely decline stating you can no longer subsidize the cost of the fuel - no judgement, no reminders that they did not fill the tank as requested the previous time.

It's your car, you get to set the conditions for use. This is good practice for when your children become teenagers - simply, clearly, and directly state the exceptions, and hold your boundaries.

Sounds like you need to set some ground rules for people borrowing your car. Like you mentioned, they should return it in the same condition that they borrowed it - clean with the gas tank filled or give you gas money. 

Or you can just stop lending it out, like you mentioned, due to liability reasons. That, for me, is a very valid reason. Aside from family, I would never lend anyone my car. That might save you the headache of having to say yes to one person and no another. 

Just be honest and don’t be shy about if. Ask politely “if you are going to borrow the car, could you please fill it back up with the gas you used, and bring it back clean? Thanks.” If they don’t agree, which would be surprising, then don’t let them borrow it. It’s etiquette to fill it up.  I’m finding these days that honesty and straight-forwardness can be very liberating. 

Heck yeah, ask them to fill the tank with whatever they used. Make them go to the gas station instead of paying you. You are doing them a giant favor. If I borrowed someone's car, I wouldn't think twice about it. You are right that it is common courtesy.

Honestly, I'd just stop letting anyone borrow it. You're planning to sell it, and every additional mile (and the potential for additional dings or bigger problems) reduces the value. In addition, someone who borrows your car regularly may need to be added to your insurance policy. I would simply close the door on this for everyone and let friends know you are preparing to sell the car so you can no longer loan it out. (And then get moving on selling it--if you're in/near Berkeley, the Buggy Bank is a great option that requires relatively little time/effort on your part; you can even get it detailed there.) 

I think that it's incredibly rude of your "friends" to not fill up the tank when they're done borrowing your car. Whenever I've borrowed a car I fill it up, use the car, then fill it up again when I return it. Duh! 8^(

It's such a simple thing to say (nicely) that I'm wondering why you're having trouble saying it? When they ask, say it then. "Sure feel free, and just remember to fill the gas up to where it was when you borrowed it"

Also there is nothing wrong with saying it isn't available to people you don't want to lend to anymore. It seems like multiple people want to borrow it, so it's plausible that it wouldn't be free for them to use, without you having to spell out that it will never be free for them to use.