Grandson and computer addiction

Hi - This is definitely serious and how fortunate your daughter has you to encourage her in seeking treatment for your grandson.  I have a 19 year old who was in treatment for internet gaming disorder (IGD) as a 17 year old, and yes, it is a real thing which is why so many countries have now officially recognized the disorder.  I believe China and either Taiwan or South Korea is also funding treatment for video game addicts.  Often, those with IGD have other underlying mental health challenges - be it anxiety, depression, ADHD , processing issues, etc. I encourage your daughter to find a support group - both NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and Willows in the Wind may have South Bay Chapters.  I also encourage her to hire an educational consultant.  My son, with his consent went to Aspiro Wilderness Therapy and then to Telos in Utah.  While they did not cover IGD specifically, the helped him with his "Processing Addiction" as gaming is a process like gambling.  Both programs were really helpful for him in understanding some of his challenges and during his time there he said it was a year of his life that will help him the rest of his life.  He is still working on his challenge but each day I see more and more maturity and wisdom on his part and attribute the therapy to helping him make such strides in these two years.  I am doing more research on who is out there making in roads in fighting the gaming companies, trying to find out where the MADD is for people like us.  So far I haven't found too much, but I do now that Children's Hospital in Boston just started CIMAID - clinic for Interactive Media and Internet Disorders.  Programs like Aspiro and Telos, do not come cheap and you will want to find someone to help you with your insurance company.  However, to my family, our son's treatment was more important than his college fund!   Please feel free to reach out to me for any other information. 

I'm so sorry to hear that your grandson is struggling with computer addiction. I remember that period of our lives all too well and it was so challenging. My son had a similar issue around that same age. He went from an outgoing and athletic kid into a sunlight deprived recluse who slept passed noon or later and then gamed all night. He gained weight from being so inactive and never hung out with friends in real life - his whole world was online. We tried everything from incentives to punishments to setting gaming limits and finally therapy and shutting off the internet. He was completely addicted and would completely meltdown if he couldn't be online. Gaming was attractive to him for a variety of reasons - he was well liked online in his gaming community, he was accepted and celebrated for his love of the game (something he couldn't get from his family - I still have no idea how some of those games work), he was pretty good at the games (something he wasn't feeling about school or amongst his peer group), and they were fun to play. Middle school and high school years are challenging. In retrospect, it makes a lot of sense that so many kids are escaping online during the puberty years. Eventually I began sharing my concerns about my son's computer addiction with him. I would try and listen to him instead of yelling. The fighting and the anger only made things worse. It was only when I smothered my son with love, was direct and honest with him about how worried I was for him and his future that things changed. We got lucky. He made the decision to stop playing games cold turkey and quit successfully the first time. He joined his school's track team and the sunlight and exercise quickly developed him back into a healthier version of himself. He made some good friends on his team and now texts with them almost as much as they hang out in person. He was able to replace all the things he was getting from gaming. My advice would be to find out what your grandson enjoys or gets from being on the computer, share your worries with him about how being on the computer is negatively impacting his life, love him like crazy, and help him find a healthier alternative to being online. We tried therapy but it wasn't much help in changing his behavior. The biggest impact happened when I acknowledged my feelings and fear and changed how I was communicating with my son about his computer addiction. Like the saying goes - I couldn't change or control him, I could only change and control myself and my reactions to his behaviors. I wish you all the best navigating your situation. Good luck! 

Here's a link to an article that relates to your situation. https://www.outsideonline.com/2336521/why-tech-generation-needs-wildern…

This technology (drug) is addicting more than just kids. I recommend taking away the technology.  He is a minor so you can do this. If he is talking about hurting others this is serious call 911 and Commit him to a mental health facility immediately. This is a public safety issue. Once the cold turkey withdraw is over, spend lots quality time with this kid. Put him to work. Have him live with you, maybe mom is stressed out and has no time for him. Did you mention a DAD? Get him a pet that he takes care of. Take him to the park. Over time, he will get over it.  Getting him long term therapy will get him addicted to a therapist and is very costly but maybe your insurance will pay for this. My gut feeling is this is an obvious sign of 15 years of inept parenting. It may take 15 years to correct this.  I am not a licensed anything so you can disregard my advice. You do not need a license to have a kid either.