Daycare - Not holding young babies?

Are they licensed? There are strict rules about what kinds of seats - bouncers, swings, etc. - young babies can be put in at daycare due to concerns about posture and breathing. I'd check out their ratio and make sure they have enough caregivers for the number of babies. I think it's ok for babies not to be held all the time - some babies like the freedom of moving around more and being able to observe the world around them! But I'd make sure that wherever they are putting the babies is safe, and that they have a high enough caregiver:baby ratio.

I completely understand how you must be feeling. How many is "so many infants"? Is it possible they aren't following the daycare ratios? In CA they should have 1 adult for every 4 infants up until 9months of age and no more than 12 infants at any time. (https://www.daycare.com/california/) While I think caring for 4 infants is certainly a handful, it shouldn't mean that your son isn't held and cuddled regularly throughout the day. https://bananasbunch.org/ has a lot of resource links and can help you look up the daycare's inspection records. 

I remember being concerned about this when we were looking at daycares too. The short answer is that he will be fine if you go this route assuming this is a quality daycare--they won't be ignoring him all day, but with 1:3 ratios, every baby simply can't be held all the time. We ultimately split the difference and went with a two-child nannyshare--a little more one-on-one time than at a center (and also a little more costly), a little less than if one of us had stayed home with the baby. But we know lots of people who had wonderful center and home daycare experiences too. There are pros and cons to each. Our kids are all school-aged now and you would be hard-pressed to pick out one child's early care experience versus another's.

All the research says that cuddling and touch are crucial to baby development.  (Just google it). There is no such thing as TOO much holding of infants.  You don't need to literally hold a baby all day, but personally if my baby were only getting touched when it was time to be fed or go to sleep, that would not be sufficient for me.  But maybe it isn't that bad? Only you know exactly what is going on there, and you have to feel good about the place you are leaving your child.  

I felt the same concern. We ended up at a smaller in home daycare where there were only 2 infants under 12 months, while the other 2 kids were at the crawling/walking stage. The provider would wear an infant in a carrier and take turns holding the babies, but giving more attention to any babies that were being particularly fussy that day.
On the other hand, my sister sent both of her kids to a large center with the 1:4 infant ratio and her kids are now 4 and 8, and are both doing well.

My baby started daycare at 5 months, she is now a year old, and we absolutely love her daycare. They do not hold her all of the time, there is just no way they could, and I wouldn't want them to. I didn't even hold my baby all of the time when she was home with me. Yes, babies need touch and interaction, but they also need to have room to explore on their own. When they are this young, they will spend most of their time just watching the other children and the teachers. It's amazing how tired they get just from this stimulation. They will start to play with toys as they get older, and then start interacting more with the other babies as they become more mobile. 

What concerns me about your post is that you say your daycare puts babies into a seat for a majority of the day. Babies should not be held up in a seat for long periods of time. It should actually be pretty limited, as they already have lots of passive sitting time in car seats, strollers, high chairs, and swings and bouncers. They should be put on a clean floor for tummy time. Regular tummy time is crucial. At this age when I would pick up my LO, she would sometimes be in a swing or bouncer, but most often be on her tummy. I would encourage you to confirm with your daycare how long babies are actually placed in the seats. If you really believe it is for long periods of time, I would find a different daycare.

A high quality, licensed daycare is a wonderful gift to give your child. But sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error to find the right one for you and your child. Good luck!  

No, it's not normal for infants to spend the majority of their time OUT of a loving caregiver's arms.  Certainly it's true that in many daycare situations, it's impractical for the caregivers to wear or hold all the babies all the time.  And it's also true that many babies who aren't held as much -- whether in daycare or by their own parents -- do adapt, seem content, and take no obvious long term harm.  But there's no reason you must put up with this situation just because you need paid childcare for your baby.  Yes, there are other daycare situations available where the caregiver(s) will hold your baby the way you expect.  Keep looking.  You might try a nanny share (with two babies to care for, our nanny used a double stroller a lot, but also wore my son on her back a lot) or a smaller daycare with fewer infants.  But even if you don't have a good alternative to the daycare you describe, at least for a while, remember that YOU are the boss when it comes to your child's care, and you are the one paying them to provide a level of care that is acceptable to you.  Talk to the director about your concerns and come up with a way that the caregivers can provide more in-arms (or in-baby-carrier) time for your baby.

Mama of two kids (who have been in daycare since 4 months) and pediatric OT responding here, I honestly really don't think it is okay. Infants and toddlers need to be held and room to explore their environment while working hard on milestones. Of course they need to be safe and everyone needs a break, if they are partly in a swing or bouncer that's fine but it shouldn't be the majority of the day and certainly not in Bumbo-type chairs. Maybe you could start here while looking for another daycare? Or join a nanny share while still looking? I searched and searched and visited MANY daycares and was truly troubled by some of what I saw and also so encouraged and delighted when visiting others.

Have you tried reaching out Bananas for referrals? Or, can you post again here with your general area and others may be able to offer recommendations? There are some wonderful daycares out there where your baby will be held and safe while also having room to explore but they can be hard to find. This is such a tough process and I don't mean to worry you, but I've learned in this journey that if it is a worry now it will continue to be one. All the best to you mama!

Hi,

 My 11 month old baby is not in daycare, but I go to a new moms group at Kaiser where infant daycare is a frequent topic of conversation. Everyone that I’ve spoken to mentions that there are only a few infants, sometimes only one,  in their daycare settings. This would concern me, and if you don’t have confidence in this particular daycare, perhaps you can find a nanny share until your baby is a little older? 

No! It is critical that infants are held, interacted with, and given lots of tummy time. Being left in a seat most of the day and only watching others or being handed toys is detrimental to a child's development across domains (social emotional, physical, language, and cognitive). Look for a program where caregivers interact with babies eye to eye (a couple babies at once is OK if they're all getting attention, and as others have said, the absolute max should be 4 babies to one caregiver); talk, read, and sing often; are responsive to the child; and are warm and positive with the kids. At that age, children learn through relationships and experiences, and sitting in a container all day deprives them of both. Definitely keep looking.

(From an infant development specialist )

I think your child will be fine. In the daycare he gets more interaction with other children which is also a valuable experience. Once he is home, you can cuddle with him. My son was taken care by my in-laws from 6 months 11 month. They are not touchy people and would hold him during changing or feeding. He came out fine. I think being held is important, but not being cuddled all the time is also fine. My mother, on the other hand, was very much against cuddling and holding the baby all the time. Her reasoning is that the baby will not grow up to be independent and you would not be able to get anything done. I know many mothers with ruined backs after carrying their kids (you baby might be cute and light now, but they do gain weight and they like being carried around still...). So there is a balance that you have to find, which YOU feel the most comfortable with. It is unwise to compare yourself to others, because some mothers have jobs, some do not, some babies are heavy and some are light, etc.

This is not uncommon, however it sounds like it doesn't jibe with your parenting strategy/philosophy.  Your baby is unlikely to suffer any harm from this situation and will probably like watching the other kids.  however, it would be hard for me to leave my baby in this situation knowing that he won't get the same quality of care he would get with you.  It is possible to find a care situation that you feel more comfortable with and I would pay attention to your gut feeling and keep looking.  If a nanny/share is in your financial capacity, that may be a better option.  

Also, developmental research shows that what they really need at this age is a strong nurturing connection with their caregiver(s).  Obviously your baby already has that with you, but there is also probably some benefit in making sure he is cared for by a consistent adult caregiver that he can bond with at daycare, so if there are multiple caregivers moving in and out that is not ideal.

Your post gave me goose bumps and horrified me.

NO it is not a good thing for infants to not be held and cuddled. 70 years of psychological research proves it so, and 50 years of anthropological studies back it up.

Just the other day Jimmy Kimmel spoke out about gun violence in a most compelling way. He mentioned the lack of compassion the politicians have for children not their own being slaughtered in the schools. And that these politicians are more concerned about the money they are getting from the NRA and getting reelected than protecting our children. What does this have to do with your question about not holding babies? Because if you want to create a person who lacks conscience, someone who rates on the Hare scale of psychopathy, the best way to start is to restrict the amount of affection and touch an infant receives. And we don’t need more people without conscience in this country.

Also, from a developmental perspective, there is plenty of research pointing to impeded cognitive development resulting from lack of attention. Inversely, studies show neurons in the brains of very young children quickly increase in both number and specialization as the baby interacts with a caregiver and receives affection and attention. In fact, the more we learn about the malleability of the infant brain, the more support for interacting with babies there is, as opposed to just changing their diapers and feeding them.

I recommend you take your baby out of this horrible place.

Lots of good responses here. From your post (“they have so many infants”), I also wonder if they have too many infants? You can check in with the licensing agency about how many this specific one is allowed to have.  

Both my kids went to an in-home daycare from 3.5 months on. What made me feel good about the situation: 1) My babies were always very good sleepers, and as infants would take 2 naps a day for a total of probably 4-5 hours a day while they were at the daycare. Add in feeding time, and that’s really not that much time where they were even awake and in a play mode there. Not sure if that is similar for you. 2) When I did my reference checks, a couple of the moms commented on how much my daycare woman was always holding the babies. I would talk to some of the “veteran” moms there about this and see what they say. They observe the daycare day in and day out for years at various times throughout the day, so they will know. (If the daycare didn’t give you references, ask. You could also always say you want the other parent’s info to organize family get togethers or something, if you feel weird at this point asking for more references). 3) Finally, I know this is hard to imagine now, but in a couple of months your baby will be crawling and a few months beyond that, walking - and they will be busy exploring on their own. It really does go by quick.

Ultimately trust your gut. No daycare can hold an infant all the time, just as no nanny share or even a stay at home mom can hold their baby all the time either. But it’s hard to tell from a post if this situation really crosses the line to unacceptable.