How critical is school selection for a gifted child?

Our 6 year old boy scored almost 100% in the Visual Spatial subset of the WISC-5. No full scale score because he didn’t want to finish the test. He has no learning disabilities or ADHD.

I’m highly educated and can easily satisfy his curiousity and exploration with projects we do together at home (STEM, electrical and mechanical engineering, etc.). However, I suspect that his emotional development and well being is at risk as long as he is going to a school that doesn’t cater to gifted children. Even if he got an IEP, the “bones” of the school are the same. My intuition is that being around other gifted kids and teachers who specialize in giftedness can make a  difference. But how big of a difference? Can anyone with a gifted child share their experience of NOT sending their child to a gifted school? Do you regret it?

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You will not get an IEP in a California public school just for giftedness, even if your child could complete the test to get a full score. So don't spend too much time on that option/possibility. 

I think you will find a lot of parents asking a similar question on the Davidson Institute forums, and I refer you there. As a parent of two children (high schoolers) who have tested very high on standardized tests, I've felt that there is always something else they can be working on in a school setting if they've mastered the material - usually it's social emotional. I also saw a lot of teachers having the advanced kids be informal group leaders for various assignments. Specifically regarding how to pick a school, I would definitely look into schools that support a lot of extracurricular activities like Lego First - clubs with national competitions, for example, that offer growth and challenge. But I'd also continue to think of ways to support the "whole child" with sports/physical activity and other peer relationships. Keep in mind that here in the Bay Area there are a lot of highly educated parents and gifted children, so this can also lead to a culture of competitiveness and burnout in some communities and "high achievement" schools. All that said... with my two kids, who both turned out 2e (which we didn't know when they were 6), we are reasonably satisfied with our school decisions which centered smaller classes and a more nurturing (relatively speaking) environment for middle school. I wouldn't worry a ton about the early elementary years for most kids.

I'm a Professor at UCB and a highly successful scientist. I think it's fair to say that all of my colleagues are "gifted" – curious, ambitious, and high-achieving people who manage challenging and stimulating careers. We come from a wide variety of educational backgrounds – some highly privileged (early recognition of talent, private schools, Ivy League colleges, etc.) – and some much more mundane. "Gifted" programs and unusual educational experiences can be enriching , but they disproportionally serve kids who already come from privileged backgrounds, and they can also promote arrogance and a sense of entitlement, neither of which is beneficial in the long run. They can make it harder for kids to appreciate the talents of others (particularly if these are not conventional academic abilities), and they can even make them less well-prepared to negotiate the failures and challenges that they will inevitably encounter along life's long path. Your kid is going to be who he is – it's not up to you to enable him fulfill what you see as his potential, and it's not your fault if and when he struggles. As a parent, you should be focusing on helping him to feel loved and supported in his choices, and the rest is largely up to him. Having smart kids is fun and can be challenging.

This doesn't exactly answer your question but I was always in the gifted programs at my local public elementary school and I feel like that was totally sufficient for my own growth and academic development.  (I was fortunate to have parents who were well educated and intellectually curious, which supplemented the enrichment I received in school.)

Our highly gifted (and neurodiverse) child attended Berkeley public schools K-12. When our child was coming out of preschool, we didn't know that they were either gifted OR neurodiverse. We have NO regrets - only gratitude for the tremendously gifted and experienced teachers who truly SAW our child, appreciated them, and gave them the tools to navigate social and academic situations.

This area is packed with gifted and talented children, as well as highly educated parents. I have had numerous conversations with parents who were absolutely convinced that their child wouldn't be "challenged" in public school - that's simply not the case.

Another parent wrote excellent commentary and advice in this thread: the high concentration of high-achieving parents has helped to build a very unhealthy, highly competitive environment where children wind up burning out, miserable, sleepless, and self-doubting. I second their advice to focus on helping your child explore and develop their whole self.

Honestly, here in the competitive Bay Area a lot of kids are considered “gifted” (wherever that means). My 2E highly sensitive kid was reading chapter books by age 3, was teaching other kids to read at age 4, was making their own clothes using a sewing machine by age 6 and was doing long division in kindergarten. I don’t think you can expect any public school around here to fully meet their academic needs. I think it’s important instead to teach them empathy, compasssion, whole-hearedness, and find the academic stimulation outside of the public school system. For us that meant out of the box summer camps, family travel to cities where they were exposed to art, science, etc. By high school we decided to unschool our kid and let them orchestrate their own education which was a combination of homeschooling, no-schooling and alternative schooling. Our now-adult offspring is now thriving and beating  to their own drum. Let the gifted-kid show you the way for what works for them, and follow their lead. 

Certainly there is no advantage to being in a school setting where the kid is bored in class. Some public schools enforce mediocrity.  That's to be avoided.

That said. our two kids - both gifted, one with an IEP for being neurodivergent - did best academically in schools where they were able to make friends and have social and recreational activities. An amped-up curriculum can be counterproductive if there is too much work and insufficient down time for unstructured play and fun.

I echo what someone else wrote about thr competitive culture in some schools creating burnout. One of our kids almost dropped out of a competitive high school before senior finals week.  The school had to employ a staff psychologist to herd its charges toward the Ivy League.

A resilient child or teenager will be able to make the most of any school.  But most kids do not fall in the 2% who are so popular that every other kid  in the class. feels that they are best friends,.

Social and emotional contentment are the best foundation for academic excellence IMO.

My son tested as “gifted” on the WISC and seems very talented at math in particular. We sent him to an OUSD school that is not very highly rated and generally had very low test scores for 1st and 2nd grades, and were not happy and ended up moving him to a small private school for 3rd grade where we are VERY happy (the Academy in Elmwood- while not specifically for “gifted” kids they tend to teach a grade level ahead and the classes are about 12-13 kids each grade). 

I’m not sure if our experience would have been different at another OUSD school. My sons classes had kids in second grade who didn’t know all of their letters and didn’t know addition/subtraction math facts. His teacher told us she was unable to differentiate math for him- we used to send him with supplemental math work to do on his own, but he had to participate in the group work doing the second grade work, and I think that caused some behavior challenges for him (he had adhd as well). He was very unhappy at that school (not necessarily boredom- there were other issues). After sending him to his new school, he truly has seemed like a different person- he has real friendships (never happened at his ousd school) and comes home talking about all that he’s learned in different classes (never happened at his ousd school).


I can’t say of course what the root of the mismatch was between my son and his ousd school was, it may have just been the school was not a good fit, so I’m not sure how much this helps you! 

Finding teachers and administrators well-trained in gifted education is crucial in a child's first years of school. Children who can learn quickly, have skills in reading and math, understand content with depth and complexity, are eager to learn, can hide their curiosity and intellectual abilities and energy if their teachers aren't knowledgeable and ready to meet those needs across the curriculum as well as socially and emotionally. It's devastating to see young children feel ostracized and disillusioned with school/teachers when they had big dreams and excitement to learn real content in hands-on ways gifted education promotes for all children.

The youngest gifted children are the most in need of empathy and activities that intrigue them. They thrive through learning with all their peers but they need dedicated time with kids who think like they do, especially in their strongest intellectual areas. Disenchantment with school (and life in general) and behavioral problems can ensue if the youngest children -- including preschoolers -- aren't understood and nurtured by their teachers through educational policy and philosophy, including addressing their emotional needs. Gifted Education Teachers advocate and reach kids with high-level learning needs. This isn't a privilege but a right for kids everywhere. 

Just my random experience it is more comfortable for "gifted" kids to be around other kids with similar skills and interests. You have to decide what is the right balance of discomfort for your child. They may be "happier" and find it easier to make friends in a setting with more similar kids. They may benefit later in life from struggling a bit more but learning how to get along with people who are different. Likewise for academics, it's boring and hard to focus when everyone else is not operating on the same level, but it's also a useful life skill to know how to do it and to try to find value in the ways other people contribute. In life most people don't get to opt out of having to deal with less gifted people. 

I personally think the best is to find something in between or do a little of each. I did not enjoy being in a more mixed setting in grade school at all (I constantly asked my parents to switch my school or let me homeschool or skip grades; they refused because it was more convenient to stay where I was and according to my mother better for social skills). But I think it made me like college more and taught me some useful life skills. My kids have been to a few different schools, my perception is my daughter preferred to (and found it easier to) make friends with kids who excel academically, but I think it was good for her to spend a year or so in a different setting during middle school. My son is very sporty and my perception is that makes it easier for him to get along with other kids who like sports regardless of their academics. He does complain about the math especially being way too slow and easy, but I like his school for other reasons (no screens, lots of outdoor time) so for now he is staying. 

Thank you for sharing. I also feel that with the right teacher, advocacy, and friends, things will fall into place regardless of the school.


I also spoke to a mother of a gifted child, who decided to keep her child in a public school so that the child learns how to deal with the “real world”, and I see value in that too.

It really depends on the school and the teachers as well as the child's personality / temperament. Our child languished in public school. They were bored and ignored and bullied during recess/playground time. Teachers acknowledged the child was bored but did not allow them to read their own books or give them more challenging materials. Some teachers asked our child to help with other kids' work, basically being the Teacher's Assistant. We switched to a small private school that excels in social emotional learning and that allows our child to explore and delve deeper into subjects that interest them. This school is not particularly academic but child is happy and engaged and has made kind friends, while working on interesting projects that allowed our child to go as deep into the subject matter as they would like. Our child is not profoundly gifted, however. They are a bit ahead of the curve. 

Our friend whose child is profoundly gifted (like Doogie Howser level gifted) did move the child to a special private school for gifted children after a few years in public schools. The public school teacher recommended this option as the child was doing high school level math in 3rd grade.  

My spouse is highly gifted and went to low performing public schools K - 12 where they were smarter than their teachers and got into trouble for correcting the teachers. They were not encouraged or enriched. They basically taught themselves multiple instruments, coding, foreign language, and whatever else that interested them and just went through the motion of clocking in and out of school, which they hated but were mandated.  I am a slightly above average and bright person but not to the level of being highly gifted. I went to very enriching and highly regarded private schools K - 12. I excelled not because I was smart, but because I worked harder than most kids and knew how to appeal to teachers and peers to stay at the top academically and socially. I really did enjoy being at my amazing private schools and truly appreciate my parents' sacrifice to give me top notch education, but I think I would have done well at any school, public or private. My spouse, on the other hand, would have benefited so much at schools where I went and I believe that his life might have turned out differently if he were in a supportive and enriching environment. 

This is a long way to say that if child is happy and engaged at the school, I truly don't think academics aren't as important in the lower grades. There are ways to enrich kids academically outside of school, if you are in a position not to have to put the child in a generic aftercare program and can take the child to other targeted programs (math, music, art, science, etc.) Developing love of learning and having a positive experience with school are more important. At the high school level, I think academic challenges matter more. 

You have lots of good advice here so I'll just add that I believe it's more common than not for a gifted child to also have some other divergences, so please be open to observing any changes in attitude toward school or learning, and to embracing any other learning differences that may emerge later on. I had the same questions as you pose here when my child was the same age, though they (my child) weren't yet tested. And yes, in 2nd grade public school we found out that there were no books at their level in the classroom at all, but in 3rd-5th grade some school resistance and complaints emerged. We switched to private school with the thought that a more challenging environment was needed to inspire more effort, but instead it inspired panic attacks. Many gifted kids are diagnosed with differences/neurodivergences or a painful gap between cognitive abilities and processing speed much later, in high school or beyond. It's a long and winding journey, this parenting thing, and our gifted kids will keep surprising us. Best wishes.

Hi PacificSpirit.  I taught a 5th grade Gifted and Talented self-contained classroom for several years and came away feeling that it was great for most of the kids, and especially for the underachieving-gifted who seemed to find permission, within themselves, to be smart in the gifted-classroom setting.  Some did not thrive as I expeced and hoped they would and, as I look back, they stand out as either immature compared to their peers, or very anxious.  For our society, I don't love the model of separating out the brightest kids.  But I was "tracked" in high school and my classes were a lot more interesting because of that and I appreciated it for myself.  My son is a professor of comparative Chinese philosophy at a prestigious college, and clarly was an intellectually-gifted child.  There was no option for a gifted program in our school district, but if thee had been, he was a confident kid and matured evenly with his peers, so I would have been interested in a well-implemented gifted academic program for him.  Great teachers, who know how to individualize expectations and assignments for kids, support gifted kids well.  Teachers with no flexibility in their expectations and assignments straight-jacket them.