Dad pushing athletic scholarship, daughter not into it
Hi everyone, thanks for accepting me into the network!
I'm looking for someone to consult with regarding the likelihood of athletic scholarships. My sixth-grade goddaughter's dad insists that she try for a scholarship in track, but she is not very interested in it, nor is she outstanding in it. It's pretty hard to watch, because she's a born dancer, very talented, and he's dead set on her being a track star instead,so she's spending 16 hours a week practicing, doing grueling workouts, and going to meets. Just looking for someone, honestly, who can deliver the truth about how realistic his plan is, and maybe talk about dance scholarships. I don't think he will accept it coming from me, a non-expert. We are far from a $5000 start-to-finish advisor, just looking for a one-time consult, which I think he would be okay with, since he's very invested in her future success.
Thanks so much for any advice!
Parent Replies
First of all I would say it’s your job as a partner to set appropriate limits regarding your child. If she isn’t interested in this you and she are not obligated to participate. Listen to your child! As for dance there are several places around that offer scholarships or very low cost fees. Check out Destiny Art and Shawl Anderson. Also there is a dance intensive kids through Alvin Ailey at UC Berkeley every summer https://calperformances.org/community/aileycamp/
Please let your child have some bodily autonomy and be clear with the godparent that this is not working.
I wish I had a solid resource to share with you. To me, this feels like a rational conversation that shouldn't need a lot of evidence: a kid who is 11 or 12 is still going to do what they're told. But if she's not enjoying this, she's just going to resent it and resent her dad for forcing it on her. And he wants her to keep this up for the next seven years? At some point she's just going to quit. Or injure herself.
NCA Sports has a decent FAQ on scholarships in general: https://www.ncsasports.org/recruiting/how-to-get-recruited/scholarship-facts
But honestly, the conversation I would have with dad is closer to: she is going to excel at things that she loves. And that is a better way to get scholarships, overall.
Track scholarships are extremely hard to come by - most schools actually will have times on the website for consideration that you could look at. Most teams split the money among many kids so it would only be a partial scholarship. It doesn’t sound like the dad is going to listen to much though. I’m not sure who would provide this type of service. I would just be there for the kid as much as you can!
It is great that you are looking out for your goddaughter, and you've received some good advice. To throw in another perspective, I ran cross country and track from junior high to sophomore year in college with pretty good success (state champion (not California), state record holder, ran at multiple Junior Olympic championships, lettered in cross country at Big 10 university). Because I had a full academic scholarship, I didn't receive an athletic scholarship, but many of my friends on the track and cross country teams did. While an athletic scholarship can open doors to colleges that normally might not be attainable for many kids (UCLA, Harvard, etc.) and can provide a way for young people to attend college that might otherwise not be able to afford to, it is actually a stressful position to be in because scholarships can be reduced or taken away for poor performance or sustained injury.
In addition, running is a sport that you really have to be passionate about because it involves sustained pain (middle to long distance running does anyways!). So if your goddaughter doesn't love to run, she won't be a "track star" and needs to be voicing her opinions about what she would rather spend her time doing.