Helping college student manage money

Think about this as a process -- you need your son to be able to manage money by the end of college, but there might be some bumps along the way. What kind of schedule are you using to add money to his account? We've been doing this once a month. If he has a full meal program, don't give him additional money for food, if you are also giving him "spending money".  We buy the tickets for travel. We expect our student to earn spending money past what they need for food and books. It has taken numerous conversations with our student for them to develop a realistic understanding of money -- though it might be easier because we don't have the money to give them, and I have to find extra work if they spend more than the budget.

Short answer: just say no. 

Long answer: don’t let him play you. He can and will figure out how to manage his money, if you don’t rescue him. Don’t pay his credit card bill. Just enough for the books. Make sure his credit limit is low so he can’t dig too big of a hole. 

My dad took a heavy handed approach that I hated, but it worked. Every month I had to send him a detailed accounting of every expenditure. Then he sent me the next check. Your son, like I did, will notice how much he’s spending on beer/pot/whatever, will have to write it down to you, and will cut back. 

My brother was the same when he was in college. My parents kept bailing him out to no good end. He is now 50 and still has trouble with money. My recommendation is if this is the first time he’s called home for money, then send it to him with the warning that you will not do it again. And then you must stick to it, no matter how hard it is for you and for him. As for the credit card, I suggest taking a little out of each allowance to pay off the debt. Take away the credit card and give him a debit card instead. Good luck! Remember you’re here to help him navigate in the long run. 

A couple of possibilities:

1) for now, Try transferring a modest allowance into your son’s account daily rather than weekly.  You can set up an automatic daily transfer through your bank.   Our K-12 schools rarely teach money management and not everyone “figures it out.”  By the way, About 20% of pro-athletes go bankrupt after they stop earning their huge annual salaries so more money is not the answer

2) talk with your bank about sending you and your son an alert when your son’s account gets to a low balance (with my son it is $10.00). Unfortunately, beginning at age 18, people are able to overdraw their accounts which typically costs $25-$35 per incident.

3.). See if you personally can pay for books and supplies and then mail them through Amazon or Office Depot online until your son is more responsible.  Your son will need to “earn” your trust with money.  Use a program like MINT together to track your son’s spending.  If your son gets funding through you, he will need to spend time with you going over  budgeting in exchange.  Money management is not learned automatically, it is a a real problem in the US.  

4)Also check Jump$tart Financial Education.  Finally, even though your son is 18,you can still withhold certain extras(phone upgrades, new clothes, etc...) in exchange for more financial responsibility.  I have often found gig jobs (babysitting, for example) for my teen son so he knows he can earn extra money if he wants more than I give him.

5) See if your son’s college has any resources for finance, money management, budgeting.

Best of luck and thanks for posting.

My college Freshman having similar issue and asked us to close his account because he couldn’t control his spending.  We are now using a great program - FAM ZOO which allows us to add money to his card as needed and also has programs to incentivize saving money etc.  no more overdraft fees for us. Still need to work on underlying issue but this program a great support as we do this.

my youngest is a senior in college and oldest just graduated. One has an emergency credit card (linked to my account) and one does not (and didn't throughout college).

I would take away the emergency credit card right away! If he needs money in a real emergency, he can contact you. Re books, you can buy them on Amazon at the beginning of the semester if he gives you the info and he will have them in 2 days. Or he can buy them, email you the receipt and you can send him the money via Venmo (we use this but I encourage you to say no to requests for money for late night snacks!!!).

It sounds like you do this already but if not, you might want to transfer him the allowance weekly instead of monthly to help manage it better. 

Encourage him to get a part-time job if he wants more spending money. My kids worked btwn 5 and 20 hours/week throughout college which I think was great for them! I gave them what I thought was enough money so that they didn't HAVE to work, but if they wanted money to go out more, go away on weekends, etc, they needed to work, and they chose to do that.

I paid for trips home and trips to visit other relatives when I wanted to encourage that (and I would have paid for study abroad but they didn't do that), but they had to pay for any other travel themselves. Once in a while we send lgifts of money, like if I know they are going to New York City I might send $100 via Venmo and say have fun on the trip! but I want them to be self-sufficient and not count on that coming (so I don't do it every time!).

I know it is hard -- keep trying different things and also what works will change over time.