Housing Accommodations for College Student with Anxiety/Misophoni
My daughter struggles with anxiety, migraines, and misophonia, (sensitivity/hatred of sounds) and it causes her to spiral downward when she can't be in a dark, quiet space. She was admitted to UC Berkeley and so we are worried about how she will do sharing a room. Does anyone have advice about navigating this? Also, advice for where to get a doctor or professional to give her an accommodation?
Mar 30, 2024
Parent Replies
Her own doctor should be able to provide a letter based on her diagnosis so that you can make a request for housing accommodations. It sounds like she might do best in a single, if they are offered. Otherwise, is is possible for her to live at home and just commune to campus if you are close enough? Honestly, there is a LOT of noise, even in a single, in many dorms, so her sensitivity might be a real issue. I'd contact housing ASAP - good luck to her!
UC Berkeley has a good Disability Services office. Contact them as soon as possible. My son's pediatrician had an ulcerative colitis patient that got into a dorm at Cal that is very close to campus in a single that had a bathroom. If you have colitis you sometimes need quick access to a bathroom. My son got in touch with disability services when he started college (not Cal), and one time he did need to use the 504 that he had in place, because of a flare up. You can also contact DREDF (Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund) who can tell you what might be the best way to proceed. Good luck.
Misophonia sufferer here. It wasn't clear from your letter whether you are worried or whether she is worried. You must allow her to choose and navigate the situation herself, because this will help her deal with the condition down the road. I would not even bring it up if she didn't bring it up first, since the more you discuss misophonia, the more frequently it is triggered. I would support the recommendation for a single room. But I also feel that she should try first, see if she's triggered, and then decide accordingly. While her misophonia might seem intense to you (at home), it's less intense in places where there is a lot of ambient noise, and thus a lot of people. Moreover, it is more intense toward certain people (especially repeat offenders, like - ahem - your parents) than new classmates. She may decide that she is willing to suffer a little to have a more engaged social life. Frankly, this is a tradeoff she will face all the time, and you have to let her take the lead.
My 15 year old has misophonia so I hear the concern here. My kids whole life it’s been a trade off between letting her navigate on her own and us stepping in as parents. I agree with most of the comments so far except taking the total hands off approach. You don’t want her to get into a situation where she was wondering WHY did I not discuss this with anyone beforehand? If your kid is independent now- yes I would back away and live & let live. But if your kid still counts on you to help out, it’s ok to ask your child what they think- or if they have heard of living in the dorms etc…
It can vary wildly on how severe the miso is. If your kid comes home utterly exhausted with their life now- from being in public etc… then I’d step in to problem solve together. Your kid will appreciate the partnership because the MOST isolating part of miso is that nobody understands. If your kid can’t feel safe and have place to reset themselves it will be horrid. Ambient noise does not drown out the insults of miso.
If you are paying for your kids school, you don’t want money wasted either from a failed , and a feeling of failure. No matter what your kid needs to feel successful and meeting them where they are is the way to go. No person in this world will ever be harmed by having a person to problem solve with. I would say put the ball in their court more than not though.