Looking for a practitioner to teach my 11 year old self-control
Hello,
I'm looking for a practitioner (therapist/counselor, etc) to teach my 11 year old daughter self-control and how to regulate her emotions. If you have also found a practice for your child (maybe something like a yoga or martial arts school or anything else) that has done that as well, I'd be open to hearing about it too. Just whatever has helped your child the most. If there is a specific person or place, I'd like to hear about it.
Thank you so much!
Mar 16, 2024
Parent Replies
Boy, if only there were a silver bullet for this! Do you have a sense of the root cause or most serious impact of your daughter's lack of self-control? Do you have a sense that she is out of step with her peers in this regard?
Martial arts certainly can work, at least while they're in the dojo. My somewhat dysregulated now 13 yo has also liked reading the American Girl Smart Girl's Guide to Emotions (and there are more topics that touch on this) School counselor maybe another option or resource? Kaiser has some kids' groups for anger, if that is a factor. Time, maturity, and peer feedback also works.
Do you mean executive function? You might want to consider checking in with their pediatrician, perhaps they should be assessed for adhd.
Even a neuro typical child will have plenty of executive function issues, since the pre frontal cortex isn’t fully developed until age 27.
If your child is on the autism spectrum, UCSF has a great program called “Regulating Together.” All about kids managing their big emotions . Waitlist can be long. I know screens are not ideal, but we have had success with a system called Mightier. It is a child self-regulation app with a heart rate monitor.
Hello. I would suggest looking into an occupational therapist (OT). Some OTs specialize in emotional regulation. You didn't provide much info about what is going on for your kidd--so I am making some assumptions, but if these issues are a big struggle or something that impacts her daily life, you might want to consider getting a nuero-psych evaluation. The evaluations are expensive (if you don't go through your local school district), but they might really help you drill down on what is underling your daughter's challenges around self-control and emotional regulation. You may have already done all the assessments and evaluations of you daughter, but if not, they can help you understand if she has a sensory issue, a learning disability, a processing disorder, an executive functioning challenge, anxiety disorder etc. Sometimes it helps do know why they are having trouble regulating their emotions before you try to get them to regulate them.