Poop Accidents in 2 and 3 Year Olds
Archived Q&A and Reviews
Questions
2.5-year-old is pooping in her panties
October 2005
I am looking for some advice on potty-training my 2 1/2 year old. We are mostly successful in this endeavor. She goes number one in the potty with babysitters and at school without fail. She usually goes number one in the potty when we are out and at home. We are having a tough time with number two. She goes in her panties more often than not. We have talked repeatedly about how poopy goes only in the potty, but it doesn't seem to help. Fir instance, yesterday, she went number one in the potty while at a friend's house and then five minutes later started to go poop in her panties. has anyone successfully dealt with this issue? How? -anon
Doesn't sound like she's ready to fully potty train. She has to make that decision for herself, so I recommend diapers or pullups (whatever's easiest for you) until she's ready. It will reduce stress (and laundry) for the whole family. As far as speeding up that decision, you can try rewards/bribery or indirect peer pressure (ie, telling her ''Susie NEVER poops anywhere but the potty, did you know that?'') It might work, and it might not. Just have patience and don't stress about this ... it will all resolve itself soon. -- Been there!
This was exactly our experience with our three year old. She figured out number 2 about 4 months after she mastered number 1. It just takes a little while to get the hang of it. I think there is just some discomfort with the concept for some kids. One thing we did was give her ''privacy'' in the bathroom, even leaving for a couple minutes, or just stepping away to give her some room. I'm not sure if that made a difference, but there was point where it just clicked and she never pooped in her panties again. Lori
3-year-old daughter keeps pooping in her underwear
December 2006
Or daughter is just about 3 years old and seems to be getting the potty training down for the most part for her pee pee. But when it comes to pooping in the potty, she keeps going in her underwear. We have tried everything- treats, stickers, new underwear she really likes - as well as threatening to put her back in diapers or pull ups full time(which she HATES). She keeps saying she understands but then keeps pooping in her underwear. We are 2 full time working parents so are trying are hardest but it seems her nanny and preschool teachers keep having to clean up the messes. Any advice to what has worked or not worked? We are at our wits end and just don't know what else to do. We have kept her pants off for the whole day but then she seems to hold going #2 until she is clothed again. She has said it doesn't feel good so knows it is not the right thing to do but just hasn't made the connection to go in the potty
Frustrated mom
Put her back in pull-ups, I'm sorry to say. Exactly the same thing happened with my son at the same age, and he really wanted to stay in undies. But we were losing our minds cleaning all the pants and finally just explained, ''Look, Sweetie. We're not mad at you, and this isn't a punishment. You just need some more practice, and pull-ups are for practice. This way, you can relax while you learn. When you keep your pullups clean for a few days, then you can go back to underpants.''
It killed us to do that, but after going back, he was happier and more relaxed, we were happier and more relaxed, and everyone could just enjoy themselves. Six months later (yes, six months!), he has decided, completely on his own, that he's ready. And there it is: He's pooping on the toilet, no help or prodding from us. Finally!
I had a similar situation in that my daughter was completely potty trained for pee, but insisted on pooping in her diaper for quite some time. She clearly knew when she had to go poop, she had total control over it, but she would ask for a diaper. Not at ALL interested in sitting on the potty, for the longest time. Eventually it stopped and she pooped in the potty (I can't remember when). Maybe you can ask your daughter if she would like to poop in a diaper rather than her underwear, and encourage her to ask for a diaper when she has to go. Sometimes kids feel weird about pooping in the potty; it feels strange to them, I've read. Regardless, everything I've read about potty training is that you really cannot and should not try to force your child to do something they are not ready to do. It is one of the very few things they have absolute control over and the more pressure you put on them the less likely they will be to change. I would be most annoyed by the mess it is for you, which is why I would maybe offer the diaper to your daughter - just for pooping; and not shame her about it, or say that she's not a big girl - rather just say something like, ''It seems like you're not ready to poop in the potty yet, how about if you use a diaper until you're ready, so you don't mess up your underwear'' - something like that.
Good luck. Don't worry, it'll happen, just try not to pressure her. I know it's hard
anon
Do NOT pressure or shame your toddler around using the potty. It will probably only make her resist even more. My daughter didn't potty train until she was around 3 and 1/2 and my son didn't fully until he was almost 4. My daughter was very high energy and my son tends to get very engaged and both of them just couldn're remember to get there in time. It's not worth the stress or pressure you are putting on her, especially with a new sibling coming soon. Just put her in pull-ups or diapers until she feels she is ready. She might notice that her friends are wearing panties or might, after a week, decide she wants to try again, or it might take a year. I know it is a pain to have 2 in diapers (my kids were 2 years apart, so I did this for over a year) but it is just not worth getting so upset over. My son, who is almost 5, still has poop accidents occasionally when he is too engaged in something to get to the potty. Just don't stress over it. There are way more important things to focus on!! good luck jenn