Raising boys
When I was pregnant for the first time, I didn't care if I had a boy or a girl, but I did feel more prepared to raise a girl. Being that I was once a little girl, that in college gender studies was my favorite elective, and that we are living at a time and place where women can reach for the stars. But, alas, I had two boys. And, I love them dearly. Yet, to my dismay, I have noticed that our extended family is starting to see our oldest (2-year old) thru gendered glasses. If he needs mommy a lot, he is needy. If he is active, yikes, what is wrong with him? If he falls, don't cry! So, I desperately need a community that helps me see thru this, and guide my boys. Any FB, meetups, books, scholars that study this, anything that I can read, follow or join? Thank you in advance.
Parent Replies
My son is grown but I want to encourage you to follow your gut on this one. You can't control what others say but you can comfort rather than judge them when they cry and encourage them to talk about their feelings. It is important for boys to learn how to express their emotions and not be told to suck it up and 'be a man.' Just want to give you some support and hope you find folks to hang out with.
I'd be interested in learning what you find. (Mom of a boy here, with similar questions.) I've been slowly working my way through two books -- Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood and Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. Neither is the perfect book, but both have interesting bits.
Read Cordelia Fine. Her research summaries will give you arguments to use with retrograde relatives and friends.