Young adult son might have bi polar depression (help)

Bipolar people can certainly live meaningful lives and have successful relationships.   It is a good sign that he is open to receiving help, because people with bipolar disorder generally need treatment throughout their lives.   But it sounds like it's not yet clear he even has bipolar disorder.  Is he receiving CBT therapy?  It can be very helpful in conjunction with medication.   Try to find outlets for yourself to both escape and to express your own feelings about what's going on. Seek therapeutic support as well as recreational and/spiritual outlets that make you feel more centered.  It's not selfish to take care of yourself.  Your son will be best served by a calm, relatively unemotional home environment as he tries to recover.

I am sorry for your situation and encourage you to keep up your good work.  I have two young adults also, one transitioning well into adulthood, the other struggling. I try and reaffirm my son that this stage in life has more questions than answers and that everyone is trying to figure life out.  There are books written for this stage in life(Quarterlife crisis). If he likes to read I encourage you to direct him to books about quarterlife crisis.  

On the therapy response, there is a type of therapy that might be helpful for him, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I do not have a therapist to recommend but this type of therapy might be helpful for him.

I hope this is helpful and I admire your willingness to share and reach out for help.  

You've done everything right by taking his symptoms seriously and getting him therapy and a psychiatrist.  I suggest you check out support groups through the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).  This organization has local chapters that have support groups for parents.  Google NAMI to find the chapter in your county.  If you connect with other parents who are going through a similar situation with their own adult children, you will find resources and support.  Don't go through this alone.

yes, your son can live a very healthy normal life while being bi-polar.  I would suggest that he continue to see his psychiatrist on a regular basis to monitor both the medication and his general progress for life skills.  Since you did not say how long he has been on the meds, I will have to assume not a long time and it may take a bit of time for everything to kick in as it were for him to feel stable.  Since your son's doctor nor your son has not told you that he is actually bi-polar, do not just jump to that assumption, but calmly ask him.  It could be that he is extremely depressed and lacking direction for his life.  Either way, the gentle approach is better in this situation.   It will take a while for the weed to get completely out of his system. Once the weed is out of his system, that will also help him along with the exercise.

Lots of people have either bi-polar disorder or are going through a depression.  Both can be managed.  One of my closest friends has bi-polar disorder and had her PHD before she was 30 years old and is a very accomplished person.  If he is bi-polar, he will need to stay on his medication, see his doctor and monitor his health closely.  Part of the problem with some bi-polar people is that the medication works so well, that they go off it thinking that they are in control and don't need the meds.  This only creates more issues.   While no one in your family may have had this experience, it's not uncommon and very treatable.  He can be successful.  Give him some time, love and adjustment period.  You might also need some counseling to deal with this issue and get support yourself.  It's also not uncommon to make sure you are getting the right support and doing the right things for both of you.  Once he has been on the meds for a while and feels better, you also might want to send him to a life coach who may be better in getting his life on a good path.  

You are a good mom and don't forget that.  Take care of yourself so you can also be there for him.  

I feel for both of you!  I seriously hope that no one would think of pointing a finger at you, but of course even today it's all too easy to think that the parents must be responsible in some way for mental health issues. The good news is that quite a lot of people can, with the help of professionals, find the right medication to become stable.  My son, who is now 21, was diagnosed back when he was much younger, because he was given anti-depressants for his extreme anxiety, and it turns out that SSRIs can trigger mania in those pre-disposed to bipolar. So he's had periods of experiencing the sorts of symptoms you are talking about.  But then he's had long periods of remission. I talk to him about how, even though we haven't found the medication that helps him be stable all the time, researchers are working on new medications constantly.  The situation has changed so much even since he was younger.  I tell him he needs to hang on, because as with these other major illnesses, a cure is going to be found. DBSA is an online resource that I found to be very useful when I was first starting out (it had a different name back then).  Lots of people like NAMI, which is an in-person and online resource for both him and you.

I will be thinking about you.

Heather 

First, I think it is wonderful that you and your son are working together to address his mental health issues. Family support is very important, as is being amenable to help.

I also think that you are basing your concerns on outmoded ideas about mental illness. While it is true that Bipolar Disorder can run in families, it can also be a problem for people without a family history of the illness. Further, the fact that nobody else in your family has ever been diagnosed as bipolar, that doesn't mean that nobody has been bipolar. A close friend of mine who is bipolar has identified the disorder in several family members, none of whom have been (or are willing to be) diagnosed or treated. 

Your son absolutely can have a normal, healthy, productive life. My friend with bipolar is an internationally renowned leader in their field. We have been friends for 40 years so I have experience of my friend pre- and post diagnosis. It took a while for my friend and my friend's doctor to find the right medication for managing their illness, but they were able to do that more than twenty years ago and my friend has thrived. However, if you approach this issue as some sort of death sentence for your son, you won't be able to emotionally support him as fully as you will if you understand and accept that this is a serious and manageable illness, like epilepsy or high blood pressure.

I don't know if your son has given legal permission for you to access his private medical information, but I am disturbed by your invading his privacy by investigating his medication (especially since it seems you were not prepared to handle what you learned). Your son may be living at home, but he is an adult and is entitled to privacy. Unless your son has given his psychiatrist explicit permission to share his diagnosis with you, the psychiatrist legally cannot provide this information to you. I understand your concern, but please take a step back. Your son is being a responsible patient and appears to genuinely want to be healthy. It sounds as though he and his doctor are working well together. Support this, continue to love him and feed him healthy food, and let him know that you are willing to be involved in his care and treatment to the extent he wants you to be. Then do those things and avoid overstepping boundaries.

Re: resources, look at NAMI.org - National Alliance on Mental Illness. They have a wealth of resources that you should find helpful.

Remember to breathe,

Lisa

I have a family member who was diagnosed as bipolar while in high school, I believe.  She has had different therapies and different medications over the years (I don't know details) but overall has done very well both academically, professionally and personally.  Getting the diagnosis and the medication were a GOOD thing!!  Remember we all have problems and issues in greater or lesser degrees, some more visible than others, some that can be treated with medication, some that cannot.  Your parenting sounds great, to be honest.  I'm very impressed your son has gotten off the pot - that's hard to do.   

That he is so motivated and cooperative about getting help sounds encouraging.  I have read that getting a person appropriate treatment which includes minimally needed medication to treat symptoms while he/she is young or early in the illness has good results.  I have friends whose son is schizophrenic who hoped to stabilize him (one of the parents is a mental health professional), but their son resisted and was beyond their control.  I respect your positive response and actions to support your son.  I hope you get helpful feedback here.