Smart 5yo hates her French preschool
My 5 yo daughter is a very smart and curious kid who has recently started resenting school. It breakes my heart to see her cry so genuinly about not wanting to go to school as I know she is a very bright and smart child. She says she just doesn't like having teachers tell her what to do and that she would enjoy school if "there just weren't any teachers"! She goes to a french pre-school that follows the standard french public preschool curriculum with math, writing, reading, arts and crafts, drama, story time and some free play. And despite her complaints she is actually one of the "top" students in her class with teachers always raving about how fast she picks up new things and how well she listens and follows instructions etc. At this point she is perfectly bilingual in french and english and even speaks a third language at home. At school, when told what to do she actually listens but then comes home crying about it and saying how much she dislikes it. Teachers say she does great but she has started to really resent the structure and having to follow directions. She says she is tired of lessons and just wants to "play with no teachers !" The teachers are all very nice and very supportive but of course they have a set curriculum that they follow and that can't really be changed. So I have been looking at alternatives like Waldorf and Montessori etc. Any experience with these type of schools? What would you recommend for a smart kid who actually really loves learning but hates having structure/ teachers !!?
Parent Replies
I'd recommend Montessori, it is more child-driven within boundaries; they learn while playing/working on life skills.
FYI, here's a great article on "smart" kids: https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/06/the-s-word/397205/
Please listen to your child and move her from this restrictive environment that is making her miserable. She will thrive in a more child centered school such as Walden, Family Montessori, or similar. Public school is also a great option! She will continue to learn and grow, and she'll be able to pursue what she's interested in. There are so many great schools, and not all of them are the right fit for all kids.
We went through almost this exact same experience. In our case it was at Black Pine Circle, a private school in Berkeley, which we still hold in high esteem, but which was, nonetheless... school. No matter how much they said about their ability to differentiate for gifted kids, no matter how strongly they espoused a socratic philosophy, the bottom line is that they had one or two teachers with a classroom full of children, which meant they had to have a structure that worked for as many students as possible, and our kid was an outlier. We tried giving it another year, resulting in the total shutdown of our formerly happy, engaged, bright, beautiful little girl. :-( So whatever solution you have in mind, my advice is: don't wait.
The good new is that, though it took a year to recover, she did come out of it, and has been a joyous, learning, creative, passionate, friendly child ever since. For us the answer was homeschooling. Fundamentally, school is school, but homeschooling is vastly more flexible. She's groving on a particular project or subject? We can roll with that for beyond the 40-minute bell. Not digging something that she has to get through? We can find another way to tackle the subject, or wait until she's more receptive (and then can get through it in a snap). And before you ask, socialization has been absolutely not a problem. In fact, because of the efficiency of homeschooling, she doesn't have 'homework,' and hence is able to spend ample time with her pals -- most of whom she knows through activities of common interest, rather than because they happen to be the same age and stuck behind desks in the same room.
We have had good luck with Hickman Charter Annex, an Alameda County "public school" for homeschoolers, mostly for the community, but also for the academic support. But there are plenty of options out there. Feel free to contact me if you have questions, and good luck!
Sounds like a bad fit. Look for a different school for kindergarten!
I mean, do what you think is right, but my opinion is that you have to see if this is just a phase. My daughter said the same thing about kindergarten and by 1st grade she was fine with regular school stuff.
Absolutely check out Montessori. If in the East Bay, you can find French Montessori, the Renaissance school for example. Montessori is child led and goes and the child's pace so it is perfect for children who don't want to be told what to do and who are bored or frustrated with typical school.