Moving to Wilder in Orinda but very interested in Oakland private schools?

Our kids went to Orinda schools for K-5, which was not much of a diverse experience but was fine.  The older kid crashed and burned in middle school (bullying, poor school response to that and other issues), and we switched to private school for him and the younger one when middle school came along.  Both went to CPS for high school.  We loved CPS; it was a great fit for our smart but quirky kids.   There were kids from all over the East Bay, and it was more diverse than Orinda.

Orinda schools have good test scores and high rates of college bound kids.  But they are not good for all kids.  Our sense was that the schools work well for maybe 60% of the kids, are so-so for maybe 20% and are iffy-to-awful for the rest.  Maybe that is all that can be said for any district.  Orinda is a nice community in many ways.  But it can be a cruel place for kids who are not blond, attractive, athletic and socially comfortable.  And it can be very unwelcoming place for Moms who have careers; the cliques of SAHMs formed fast and they and their children created a culture of exclusion.  For our family, Orinda felt very unwelcoming.  That was some years ago (our youngest graduated from HS in 2013), but I suspect not much has changed.

Not to be totally snarky, but I am sure they are at least as diverse as private schools that cost $30K plus a year? Depending on what you mean by "diverse" (economic? cultural? racial? religious?), all of these schools are going to be more similar than not. I kept my kids in the Lafayette schools, but know others who went to Bentley, Head Royce or CPS for various reasons.  One thing that I have heard people discuss is that it can be quite difficult, particularly as the kids get older, to have all of their school friends living in other communities.  Good luck with your decision.

Well, ahem, we are having that experience right now.  We went to Park Day (Oakland private school) which was very diverse in every way -- economics, family structure, ethnicity, etc.  My son then attended a private high school along the lines you listed.  During his freshmen year, my son constantly begged to go to a "real" public high school with a football team and pep rallies and said the private high school was too small. He is an athlete and had a couple Lamorinda athlete friends who encouraged us, so we moved through the tunnel and attend one of the Lamorinda high schools now. It has been an eye-opening experience.

He (and I) have been shocked to see the complete lack of diversity in the Lamorinda schools.  None. Less than 10 African Americans in an entire high school. No socioeconomic diversity, no admitted working class or two parent working families.  Working mothers for example are the minority and school events are often scheduled during the day.  Psychology class might involve a debate about whether single parents or same-sex parents are broken families and harming America (really!).  The school we attend is light years less diverse and far more narrow-minded than those expensive Oakland private schools.

The culture is not tolerant or inclusive compared to the private schools he attended, or some of the public schools in the Berkeley/Oakland area we know well.  In Lamorinda, my son has been surprised to hear anti-LGBT and racial epithets in the hallways.  Donald Trump is popular, as is profanity.  Most kids have known each other since they were in elementary school and have cliques and little interest in new people.  As a gregarious, athletic type he has had a more challenging time than any other school in making real friends.  The sports are great and yes, his hair is blond, but we miss the East Bay.

The education looks good and the test scores are high.  But the class sizes are 34 and up after freshman year, and all those little desks are facing forward.  Very different from the learning environment, or discussion-based learning, of a private school.  My son has become disengaged from learning and instead has become adept at how to work the system -- not an ideal education.  

Two cents from a family who didn't realize that a small Oakland private school was providing a better and broader experience.  If you choose the Orinda education from Wagner Ranch on, your kids will be part of the community and won't experience the difficulties of a newcomer.  However, the range of culture and look is quite narrow  (at least for us), and for diversity, ironically, it is private school that best provided and celebrated differences.  Plus an inspiring, engaging learning experience.

So glad you are reflecting on these ideas now, it does make a difference.  Good luck!

Class of 2019 and then moving back

Thank you all so much for your advice. We are looking for at least some racial/cultural diversity in the schools because we happen to be an Asian family...and we have been looking a little more at the Oakland private schools compared to OIS/Miramonte even though we know the Orinda schools seem good. Our sons are actually less than 2 years old(!) but we really want to consider these factors prior to moving to the east bay/Lamorinda. At the same time we do like downtown Lafayette and Walnut Creek and living in the Wilder area we would not be too far from those, or too far from the Oakland schools. There are many factors to consider. Thanks to those who posted, and thanks in advance for any other suggestions!

I can't speak to diversity in Orinda, but diversity seems to be increasing over the 12 years I've lived in Moraga. For example, last fall I went to a Campo high school football game for senior night and the graduating senior players and cheerleaders were pretty diverse.  My older daughter who will enter high school next fall has a number of friends who: are Indian, African American, Asian, a (girl) friend who came out as pan-sexual in 7th grade and a gay 6th grade boy. In addition there are several (that I know of) two Mom families and two Dad families in Lamorinda, and (gasp!) single Mom's and lots of working Moms.  (Move to Moraga; I hear Wilder is windy ;-)