Bedtime Routines for School-Aged Kids
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Bedtime Ritual for 7-year-old
Nov 2002
My 7 year old son has a hard time falling asleep at night; it can take him 45 min. And getting up in the morning is not easy for him. We have a regular bedtime routine which includes reading, but I am wondering if you have any ideas that will help ease any tension or anxieties so that he can relax more easily. Thanks for any suggestions! Jennifer
It's not uncommon to take 45 minutes to get to sleep, but here are a few ideas I tried for the same problem that worked. Try and give him dinner before 6.30pm. Make sure he has had enough liquids througout the day. Many children go to bed thirsty, and what they drink at school is never enough. Give him more water. Eliminate all sugar from his diet. Look at the ingredients in the drinks and yogurts etc. that you give him. Sugar will keep them wide awake. Make sure he gets enough physical excercise every day, about 2 hours outdoors. Read low-drama books before retiring. Keep to a schedule. Baths with essential oil of lavender help. I also give my kids chamomile tea throughout the evening. (Either Choice Organic from Natural Grocery Store, or loose leaf from Lhasa Kharnak on Shattuck. You can buy a Beehouse teapot in Andronicos or Peets which comes with inbuilt strainer. If you need it sweetened, buy Stevia, a herbal sweetener, also from Natural Grocery store.)Hope this helps. maura
Try rubbing his back. I did this for several years with my son (now late teens) when he ws young. He ws always hyper at bedtime even after being read to. So the routine was book, then 10 min.'s or so of back rub, which inevitably put him to sleep. joan
When I was very young -- probably around 8 or 9, I learned a little relaxation routine that I STILL use; it's very simple but very effective. You might have him try it if his problem is he can't relax. I imagine that I am a cloth doll, filled with sand, and that someone has poked a hole in my toes. I then imagine all of the sand slowly draining out of each body part, and that the result is that I am a floppy cloth doll with no sand in me. I find that the concreteness of this imagery makes it much more effective for me, even now, than just ''relax your feet, relax your legs, etc.'' I start with my toes, and I'm usually asleep by the time I reach my knees. Another thing that occurs to me as I write this: does your son get much exercise? I know for me the single most effective way to make sure I sleep well is to get exercise most days of the week. Just a thought... Karen
My 7-y-o has a bath every night, and that calms him down a lot. We've been on that ritual almost since the beginning, though, so it might not be an immediate fix for another child.
Another ritual, a big-R Ritual, is that after reading, we do ''blessings.'' He blesses all the people he loves (or who are on his mind that night). ''Blessed be Mom, blessed be Dad, blessed be Auntie Pat...'' etc. I don't know if it helps him to fall asleep, but I think it's important to get him into the habit of sending loving energy to the people he loves on a regular basis. Letitia
Bedtime for older kids 8 & 12
Oct 2003
I have always been a firm believer that kids should get to sleep at an early and reasonable hour, and that's the opinion I would give any parent asking for help in this issue.....untill my 2nd child came along and proved fully that he has his dad's night- owl genes. My boys are now 8 and 12 and it's really hard to get them to bed during the week at any reasonable time.(we're pretty lax on weekends). My 12 year old will usually turn in around 9 or 9;30 but then may stay up for an hour reading, claiming that he's just not sleepy. The 8 year old will dawdle and dawdle untill it is at least 9:30. Lights out for him are almost never till 10. I think this is way too late for school age children to be going to sleep. And aside from that, I need some quiet time without them in the evenings before my husband and I go to bed. I've tried starting to get them ready earlier, getting them up earlier....the pattern seems to be set. I'm hoping that with daylight savings time it might get a bit easier. Any tricks, suggestions, or are my children truely night people? eating my words
Maybe you can have a set time for when your kids need to be in their bedroom ready to sleep: pj's, teeth brushed, etc. Then let them determine when they actually turn out the lights and go to bed. They are old enough that there shouldn't be a safety issue, and that way there is not a fight about it. If they are having an issue getting up in the morning, then you enforce a ''lights out time''. It sounds like the younger one is enjoying the attention of the extra time after his brother is in his room. Explain to your kids that you need time for yourself and that is when you get it. Joan
If your kids aren't overly sleepy or cranky in the afternoons, they're just night owls and nothing you do is going to get them to sleep any earlier. They're old enough to understand that they must go to bed early enough to be well rested and get up in time for school, and they should be taking responsibility for that themselves. (Although you can certainly offer to help them by getting them alarm clocks or suggesting other aids.)
They're also old enough to understand that Mom and Dad need some time to themselves and that after 8 or 9 or whatever time you designate they are expected to stay in their rooms and read or do some other quiet activity, and not interrupt you except in an emergency. (I live for the day my son is old enough to get himself to sleep this way!)
Give up control of what time they actually turn out the lights and go to sleep and I suspect you'll all be a lot happier! A night owl whose kid goes to sleep at 10ish
Hmmmm. I would try first just after dinner homework (if they do it at night) for however long, then half an hour of reading time in bed so lights out would be 8:30 or so for the younger one and because twelve year olds have more homework, his would be maybe 9:30. If this doesn't work just let the telve year old go to bed at ten. It really seems okay. But for the little one give unlimited bedtime for a few days. He well get very tired and almost BEG to go to bed early. Anon
One thing we did after epic tantrums and difficulties in doing the things that needed being done was to sit down with our (almost) 7 year old daughter and ask her to help us think about ways to make the mornings go more easily. She wanted to read more and didn't like being rushed. I asked her to write a schedule if she could do it anyway she wanted. We came up (together, by setting some limits) with intervals of reading between accomplishing tasks. She wrote out the schedule herself. That has worked historically, though now we seem to be regressing. She's very unwilling to stop reading and also is completely unresponsive when she is reading. Yay, but also a pain. I did find that engaging her on finding the solution has helped some, but it doesn't seem to be a fully integrated solution. We started giving her melatonin (for brief intervals) to help reset her sleepy onset, which also helped, but I'm not a proponent of giving it to her regularly since talking with my (personal) endocrinologist. I know most people say there's no long term risks, but also not sure we have the data one way or another. In my daughter's case, I think the refusal to go to sleep has more to do with eagerness to keep reading than physiological not-tiredness.
After we read to her at bedtime, she gets 5 minutes after to read to herself to help her get sleepy. That mostly works....again your mileage may vary.