Childcare during/after birth of younger sibling?
I'm pregnant with my third child and my partner and I are trying to figure out childcare for our oldest two when the baby is born. We're a bit stumped about what to do so any ideas or suggestions are welcome.
Our baby will be born via planned c-section, so I'm looking at 3-4 days in the hospital. Our oldest will be in early elementary when the baby is born and our middle will be in preschool, so they have different school drop-off/pick up logistics. We don't have family we can rely on for this, and while we have wonderful close friends, it feels like too much to ask other families with their own kids to care for our two high-energy kids (and help with logistics for their different schools) for 3-4 days (or even just that first night post-birth). We've considered having my partner spend afternoons and/or nights at home with our oldest two, and have just me at the hospital with the baby at night (with hospital nurses for occasional help), but that doesn't feel great, though it may be our best option. We've heard of sibling doulas, but aren't sure how well that would work since it would be a new caretaker at a time of transition for our older kids. Wild card factors include having a game plan if I go into labor early, if the birth falls around a weekend when the older kids don't have school, and what to do if the birth falls around a fire/smoke event when school might be cancelled.
Have you been in a similar situation? Do you have ideas of specific care providers or general approaches? Would love to hear and thanks in advance!
Parent Replies
Yep, your husband will be spending afternoons and nights with the older two. I would start now lining up babysitter(s) to try over the summer, and if you like one a lot, approach them about being on call for one overnight (for the first day/night you are hospitalized). Otherwise, reach out to the close friends you mention about if they're willing to take a day of morning dropoffs over your time period needed.
I agree 100% with the first response. We went through all the options and ended up having my husband stay at home with the older child except during the actual birth. It wasn't a lot of fun for me but it was the best option for the kids. I also tried out a couple babysitters and found one who was willing to be "on call" in case we needed someone overnight. I interviewed one sibling doula who was ridiculously expensive and not worth the money.
Hello,
It sounds like a great idea to have your husband spend afternoons and nights with the older two, and to focus your babysitting coverage for the time when you are in surgery/delivery and the hours after that. While it would be really nice for you to have him at the hospital, you will have nurses there to help care for you and for the baby. If you have good friends who could have your kids over for dinner for a night or two during the post-partum hospital stay so your husband could visit, that sounds great. But it seems like 3-4 days without a parent at home might be pretty hard on a preschooler and elementary school child. If your husband is home, they will be in their regular routines and you'll have less prep and planning to do in terms of getting everything all ready for someone else to care for them during that time.
In terms of emergency planning, I would definitely ask friends to be ready to help out in a pinch--that's not likely to happen, but when things go haywire, good friends are usually willing to pitch in.
Good luck!
I really enjoyed my time alone in the hospital following the birth. My partner was present for the birth and pretty much left about an hour after to go home with our other children. He did return to bring me food lol…plenty of help in the hospital and while not ideal it made me feel good and not worried that our other children’s needs were met and I could focus on the newest addition.