Remote counselor/therapist for elderly parent
I’m looking for someone to help redirect my mom’s stuck thinking. She is in her 70s, under a psychiatrist’s care for meds but not her thoughts.
Her intense belly gazing negativity causes her suffering. Years of being her only outlet / her “therapist-designate” takes a toll on me. She expresses her fear & anxiety to me multiple times a day. Every evening, to her, is likely her last.
She won’t change meds, doctors, hire a companion/helper, or join a group/church etc.
I’d love for someone to talk to her everyday for a few minutes. Someone willing to get an old brain to practice a few moments of thinking positive. Also perhaps she wouldn’t need to unload on me constantly.
(Is this pathologic?) Anyways, appreciate your input.
-drained, numbed (sad & stressed)
Parent Replies
Helping an older parent is really challenging, especially if you don't have siblings to pitch in. My job was to call, which worked until my mother needed to go to a memory care unit -- then calling became really difficult because the home didn't really facilitate that. I know someone who hired a "visitor/reader" for her father, mainly because he needed more attention. My thought would be if you could get her to accept a visitor/helper that would take a lot of the pressure off of you. There's a woman who does this for older people in my community. She's around 70 herself, so she understands the problems of that age group. If your mother lives in Berkeley/Albany/El Cerrito you can email me for her contact info.
Maybe it would be helpful to you to enter therapy, where the therapist can support you, and help advise what you can do to protect yourself. Your mother won't help herself in any of the ways you mention, and you mentioned a lot of ways.