Family Attachment & Adoption Center
Community SubscriberThe Family Attachment & Adoption Center East Bay is a consortium of therapists providing services to children, adolescents, families and individuals. With a focus on attachment and adoption, we offer treatment for all ages and stages of the lifecycle.
My younger daughter attended two years of a group for adopted tweens run by Virgina Keeler-Wolfe who has tons of experience with adoption.
My older adopted daughter is “easy” while my younger one is challenging. I also have friends and family with “difficult” teens born to them. Don’t give up.
We adopted my niece (she came to us at 5 years old) and Virginia Wolf (already referenced on this thread) was invaluable during the process. One of the most helpful things (at her recc) we did was create a story of our daughter's life, with photos, real names, and timeline of how her story unfolded. It didn't go into lots of detail, but was a high-level story in which she could reference in her own privacy and also give her a jumping board for asking more questions. The book was very helpful in 1) explaining her story 2) giving her the truth 3) allows her to re-reference her story as/when needed (in example, I notice she will re-read the book whenever something relating to her bio parents happens, a visit, a phone call, etc.) while I agree with the other respondents it would have been ideal to tell earlier, it can still be done well. I suggest speaking with a professional, creating some sort of keepsake for her that she can reference privately, and taking ownership over not having told her earlier (we didn't want xyz, we were worried that xwy, etc.). Good luck!
As an adoptive mom of a 20 year old, I would do this as soon as possible. They should get some counseling first, so they can anticipate how to support her in her adjustment to this additional information about herself and her early life.
We sought help from Virginia Keeler Wolf and she was helpful for our daughter when she was about 10. http://www.attachmentadoption.net/clinicalstaff_virginia.html
Kathleen
My 14 yo did two years in an international-biracial girls adoption group and got a lot out of it. Not sure if they are still going on. Facilitator is Virginia Keeler-Wolfe.
Good luck; teen years are tough for everyone.
Hi,
I have the same kid—adopted, attachment disorder, ADHD. I can tell you that EMDR was a huge waste of time and money for us. Didn’t help a thing. Ditto for most child therapists. They really just don’t understand these kids. The one therapist I met who does and who helped us a great deal is Virginia Keeler Wolf. Her office was kind of by Montclair so maybe wouldn’t be too hard to get to as it’s just on the other side of the tunnel.
Best of luck to you.
We've used Virginia Keeler-Wolf and know many others that have used her, as well.
http://www.attachmentadoption.net/clinicalstaff_virginia.html
I'm not the original poster, but my daughter used to be in a group run by Virginia-Keeler Wolf. She has different groups by age and they are held from Sept. to May.
http://www.attachmentadoption.net/clinicalstaff_virginia.html
I want to second the post for Virginia Keeler-Wolf. We were in the same position as you with my son and she was very helpful. He still stops in for the occasional session 2 years later when new issues come up
My teen daughter did really well with Virginia Keeler-Wolf, in Oakland. She was a great support, and after some regular sessions she switched to an as needed basis.
Kathleen P
Archived Q&A and Reviews
May 2014
RE: Therapist dealing with post adoption issues
Virginia Keeler Wolf, MA, MFT specializes in adoption counseling. She is also an adoptee. She was instrumental in founding the Family Attachment and Adoption Center of the East Bay where you can find individual or family therapy as well as support groups for adopted teens. http://www.attachmentadoption.net/clinicalstaff_virginia.html adoptive mom
Jan 2014
RE: Support Group for Parents of adopted boy with attachment issues
My daughter is currently in a great adoption support group with Virginia Keeler-Wolf, who specializes in adoption and attachment. I asked Virginia your question, and while she doesn't currently have a support group for boys, she says that she knows of a group in the South Bay and has other resources for you. Also, maybe if you connect with her, you can help her start a new group as well. Information on her practice is at www.attachmentadoption.net. and contact info at http://www.attachmentadoption.net/contact.html adoptive parent too
Feb 2011
RE: Need therapist who knows adoption issues
Virginia Keeler-Wolf in Oakland specializes in adoption. Here is her website: http://www.attachmentadoption.net/clinicalstaff_virginia.html Of all the people with whom we conferred, she offered the most coherent diagnosis and targeted support. The primary focus is to address what is now called Reactive Attachment Disorder. Her skills and knowledge are deep and wide. I only wish we had located her sooner since late diagnosis of this fairly common problem with adopted children hampers the best outcome. adoptive mom
Oct 2008
RE: Adopted daughter's grief about her original family
Leslie, I HIGHLY recommend Virginia Keeler-Wolf, MA, MFT and Laura Soble, MA, MFT, REAT of the Bay Area Attachment Center, 510-339-9363. Both are excellent and specialize in adoption issues. Please see their website http://www.attachmentadoption.net/index.html I wish you, your daughter, and family the best. Nancy
Oct 2008
RE: Adopted daughter's grief about her original family
I know of a wonderful group in Oakland that deals with adoption issues; their website is http://www.attachmentadoption.net/index.html. My kids see Laura Soble and Stacy Ouetten, who are both terrific (fyi, my kids are not adopted, but many kids in their practice are). Ann
Feb 2007
Re: Family Therapist w/ some experience w/ adoption issues
Virginia Keeler-Wolf, MFT directs the Family Adoption and Attachment Center of the East Bay (FAACE), located in the Glenview area of Oakland, is a family therapist specializing in adoption and attachment issues. Her number is 510-339-9363. anonymous
Feb 2007
Re: Family Therapist w/ some experience w/ adoption issues
My family can recommend Virginia Keeler-Wolf. We've gotten very constructive feedback and strategies for our children who were adopted. Her contact info: 1425 Leimert Blvd. Suite #302, Oakland, 510-339-9363. Not all therapists are able or qualified to handle adoption related issues so I'll be checking the other responses with interest. Taxed to the max Mom
Re: Adoptive Parents Support Group for challenging kids (April 2006)
Virginia Keeler-Wolf, MFT and Susan Love, MFT are beginning a parent support group for parents of kids with reactive attachment disorder and other related issues. Call Virginia: 339-9363 or Susan: 287-8981 for further details. It is being held in the Glenview area of Oakland. parent
Re: Adoptive Parents Support Group for challenging kids (April 2006)
I just received info about a Parent Support Group for exactly what you are describing, at the Bay Area Attachment Center in Oakland. Contact Virginia Keeler-Wolf, MFT 510-339-9363 for more info.
Re: Therapist for Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (Feb. 2003)
I suggest you check out Virginia Keeler-Wolf in Berkeley. Although we have just begun working with her, she was highly recommended. She says her practice is about 75% adoption-related, and she is active in PACER, and is presenting at an upcoming PACT workshop.
Re: Therapist for Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (Feb. 2003)
I found the ''only'' two therapists in the Bay Area who are truly specialized in RAD. I would recommend calling them too. They are Virginia Keeler Wolf at 510-339-9363 and Susan Love.
Re: Therapist for Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (Feb. 2003)
I cannot speak to her expertise as an Adoption Therapist, but as a representative of her other 25% I can speak very highly about Virginia Keeler-Wolf. She is a very caring, warm, thoughtful and thought provoking therapist. She uses innovative approaches and thinks outside of the box. I had been very badly stuck and she got me unstuck and I'm much happier too. She is very good at helping to solve or work through a particular problem. I also like the fact that I can set the pace that I feel comfortable with. I highly recommend her. Plus she has the greatest toys! Anonymous
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