Teenager not engaging in virtual schooling
15 year old sophomore is not engaging in virtual schooling. Since the beginning of the pandemic his academic performance declined, I receive calls from the school about his absence from all classes. His mom and I addressed the importance of an education, and two weeks ago had a successful meeting with the counselor and principal. He reports "virtual school is boring". He is not motivated to do any work and to engage in classes. I have talk to him about the benefits of an education and always try to understand his feeling and approach to this new method of attending school. Every time we address his lack of participation in school, he only listens but does not make any effort to change. My 15 year old foster fantasies of having a job, opening his own business for auto shop. He wants to have a driver's license and save money to buy a car. However, his dreams do not connect with the reality and the tasks he needs to complete in order to achieve the goals. Sometimes I doubt my parenting skills. When this pandemic is over I will consider independent studies, however because his lack of motivation in virtual education - independent might not be the solution - I don't know.
Is this a normal phase of teenagers at age 15? How did other parents cope with similar situations?
thanks in advance for the advice and support.
Parent Replies
It sounds like your child is motivated, but has interests that lie outside of traditional high school education. He could take the CHSPE (high school proficiency exam) when he is 16 and start a program to learn the skills he needs to succeed as a mechanic. Maybe if he has a goal that excites him, it will motivate him to finish out his brief time in high school.
I’m sorry I don’t have any suggestions for you but wanted to let you know my son , an 8th grader, is the same. He often misses classes or signs on but doesn’t participate or listen. He plays video games during class. He hasn’t turned in any school work, saying it is dumb and boring. I am concerned but more worried about his mental health during this time.
I’m hoping he will do school work but I can’t continue the daily morning battles to get him up and attending classes.
Hi,
I could have written your post. I don't have any answers, but I can totally sympathize with you. You are not alone with parenting struggles! We are all in this together. I'm sure you will get lots of replies to your post, commiserating.
These are not normal times, so our teens will not be acting normal. These times just throw another huge layer on top of the normal emotional, physical, psychological, sexual changes that adolescents and teens are also going through. It sucks.
We have a 15-year-old ninth-grade boy who is really struggling with virtual school. He is not engaged, not completing work (he sometimes can't even FIND where certain links are and they change depending on the teacher), is defensive, overwhelmed, stressed. He is trying to keep on top of everything and is bored in every zoom class he has. In the break out sessions with other students, hardly anyone talks. It's so difficult right now. Don't doubt your parenting skills. This is just hard. I can't get my son to even exercise. All we can do is give as much emotional and academic support as we can, reassurance and structure---reassurance that this time will pass and he will eventually be going into a classroom in high school, and he still needs to get dressed and brush his teeth every day. My husband helps him with algebra (his most difficult class), and I try and help with him with written assignments he gets with social studies. We are trying to not criticize him since that would just make him feel worse. We try to interject our days with goofy fun whenever we can.
BTW, he goes to El Cerrito High School.