Seek an ADHD therapist who can help with video game addiction

As a parent of a child with ADHD, I wonder if it would be best to focus your search on someone who is very experienced and good with ADHD (I don't have anyone in mind), rather than addiction. Hyperfocus is common in kids with ADHD, and hyperfocus on video games in particular is very common. Using the label of hyperfocus or compulsion, rather than "addiction", will probably be more successful in directing you to an effective therapist. The idea of "addiction" to non-chemicals (video games, porn, gambling, etc. vs. drugs or alcohol) can be controversial, so changing the terminology may help you avoid that. Plus, all the things you mentioned you'd like help with are all ADHD issues, so an ADHD specialist seems fitting!

I don't have a name because the therapist we use isn't taking new clients, but I would look for therapists who work with teens on the spectrum as ADHD is very often a comorbid condition and these therapists would be used to working wirh it. You might try calling the Wright Institute in Berkeley on Durant and see if they have referrals.

Thank you both for your help. I emailed two therapists and they said they could not force my son to reduce time on video games. He is an adult. Parents cannot force rules either. Today, he played games for a whole day. At 9pm, I asked him softly when he could start preparing the school work. He yelled "Don't be annoying. Go away!" He behaved like that many times.My husband dares not talk to him about schools or games, because my son is very irritable.  I don't know if any ADHD medicine would help with it. Thanks.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this very difficult situation. How hard it must be on you and your family.

In these days of pandemic, fire, and political unrest, our young people are struggling more than ever. Dependence on technology to cope is a real problem for some, even in the best of times. I have regularly attended an Al-Anon parents group for several years. I regularly see parents of young adults with dependence on technology to the point that it deeply adversely affects their lives, similar to the way alcohol and substance use upends lives. In other words, these young adults are suffering and the impact on the family is damaging. Most people with "addictions" have underlaying or co-occuring mental health problems.

I encourage you to seek out support. I'm sorry I do not have a specific therapist to recommend. Rather than begin from a point of managing the technology use, you might consider finding a family therapist that will help you improve family communication and problem solving.

I also encourage you to take a look at the Center for Motivation and Change website (https://motivationandchange.com). Their "Parents/Partners 20-minute Guide" may be helpful, as may the book "Beyond Addiction". While these materials are alcohol and substance focused, the positive communication and problem solving approach outlined is applicable to technology dependence (indeed any concerning behavior) as well. 

Hello, responding to your second post.  You have a right to be treated respectfully in your home.  And you can set some ground rules to "back up" your right to be treated respectfully.  You can have a family meeting to let your son know that everyone in the home is to be treated respectfully (i.e., not yelled at, spoken to disrespectfully, or insulted in any way). This goes for the parents, too.  There can be reminders, consequences, and processing together as a result of any disrespect.  And of course the internet gets turned off as soon as the disrespect occurs, until everyone is calm enough to process the disrespectful or abusive incident.  By "processing," I mean discussing the incident, how it made you feel, what you don't like about the incident, and what can be done to restore justice to the injured party--sometimes a chore that is needed to be done, sometimes a short essay, or a task that will help the injured party.  Often my child wants to rush through the processing  an incident, and gets escalated while we are discussing.   I will stop and give him more time to calm down again.  You get to set ground rules about how family members are treated, regardless of Shelter-In-Place and other outside stressors.  

While you seek out good professional help, would you consider managing wifi access in your home? Your wifi router probably has some controls that allow you to turn it off manually, and perhaps to have it shut off automatically at a set time each night. A wifi break can be a video game break. Set rules for when you will allow wifi for him.

My son is diagnosed with ADHD, also.  Some of the same issues.  There may be a disability office at his college, so I would be in touch with them now to see what support he can get.  In my son's case, the ADHD I'm sure was part of why he also got depressed, angry, anxious, and socially disconnected.  So I would say, any therapist that he likes would be good.  After he lessened some of the other issues/stressors, he stopped gaming so much.

Thank you all for your help. We use ethernet cable in my house. But I cannot unplug his cable slot at a certain time. I did that before. He was really mad and banged the door of my home office heavily, where the ethernet router was located. I opened the door right away, otherwise he would break the door. As revenge, he unplugged all the cables of my desktop. He said he would pour water to my husband's laptop if my husband would like to unplug the ethernet cable. 

As for games, it's not because he was depressed or angry that he turned to games. He has no depression, and he feels very happy when playing games. And through online video games, he chats on discord with quite many people about common topics they are interested. In addition, after game addiction, he becomes very irritable and does not like to talk to us and has no motivation in school work. 

I don't know if neurofeedback would be helpful. I also saw a hypnotherapist helps ADHD people. Maybe I will also suggest him try it.