Teens Wetting the Bed
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Teen wetting pants and bed
March 2012
My smart, well-behaved and outgoing 13 year-old daughter continues to wet her pants sometimes at school and wet the bed at home. She tries to hide the fact that she's wet her pants by ignoring or denying it, but the smell is unmistakable. I know that she is embarrassed and I have tried to gently talk to her about hygiene, why she can't make it to the bathroom and the fact that acting like it isn't there doesn't make it go away.
I am more concerned with her wetting her pants at school than with the bed wetting. I had thought we were past this, but there has been a lot of family strain recently with a pending divorce and I think the stress of that has affected her.
When she was younger, I took her to see two urologists and even took her to Children's Hospital in Oakland for a sonogram of her bladder. All tests showed everything was normal. However, she says that when she ''has to go'' she has to go right then and that she doesn't feel it coming on.
Has anyone had experience with this? I really want to help her, especially since the kids at school make fun of her when she ''smells''.
Single Mom of a Sweet and Smelly Girl
I'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice, but I do suffer from urge incontinence, which is what it sounds like your daughter may have (possibly in combination with other issues). First of all, please have her discuss this with her doctor again--even if medical issues were ruled out years ago, her doctor should be able to help her manage this and even cure it, perhaps with behavior modification techniques, and perhaps with medication.
Two resources for you/her: UCSF has a wonderful incontinence center: http://coe.ucsf.edu/wcc/AboutBladderProbs_incont.html#urge, and WebMD has a brief description of some ways to manage urge incontinence: http://www.webmd.com/urinary-incontinence-oab/coping-12/oab-tips. I can tell you from my experience, what helped the most was going to the bathroom MUCH more frequently (Tip # 2 on that WebMD page). Advise your daughter to go every time she has the chance, even if she doesn't feel like she needs to go. Over the years she has ''trained'' her body to think that urinating is an ''emergency'' and she now needs to retrain her body/mind. Tell her also to say to herself ''going to the bathroom is not an emergency''.
At school she probably has way less control over her schedule, so she should go each time between classes, even if she doesn't feel like it. I think this may be REALLY hard for her, as I recall the girl's bathroom scene in my high school could be really intimidating. Perhaps you can discuss with a school counselor or health professional strategies to help her find ways to go to the bathroom four or five times per day while she is at school--she needs to feel comfortable with where she can go, not feel rushed, and ideally be able to go on a schedule.
I happened to come upon this article a week after reading your post! This could be the answer!~ You MUST read this article about the effect of undiagnosed constipation on teen wetting. Apparently, even kids with regular bowel movements can be constipated.
The Real Reason Your Kid Wets the Bed By Steve Hodges, Suzanne Schlosberg http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2012/03/bed_wetting_the_simple_cause_your_doctor_probably_missed_.html?wpisrc=sl_ipad Laurette
We had similar problem. The pediatrician said the one thing that works is a bed wetting alarm. But it really disrupted the whole family, so we just got waterproof mattress pads and waiting it out. Stopped probably by 14. Though now he's having sleepwalking issues (at 16) and we're going to see a sleep doctor. Both bedwetting & sleepwalking could be connected to a sleep disorder. You could ask your doctor.
We had this issue at night until prob about age 14.5-15. The doctor we saw said that it is a much more common of an issue than is discussed. Really it was time, reinforcing going to the bathroom even if they don’t think they need to go.
Hello, First and foremost, go easy on yourself. You're a single parent doing the best you can. My understanding is nocturnal enuresis is not related to potty training. If bladder issues have been ruled out, consider having your son meet with a sleep doctor or therapist, if he is open to it. There could be underlaying issues with sleep issues (sleep apnea or deep sleeping) or stress and anxiety. The young teen years are hard! When I was a young teen, I didn't wet the bed, but I felt compelled to use the bathroom constantly during the day. For me it was stress and anxiety related. Once I learned to manage the stress and anxiety, the need to constantly urinate dissipated.
That can be a sign of sleep apnea.
Hi - I don’t have any direct experience with this but if this were my child I would for sure be consulting another medical expert and probably get a new primary care doc. It’s most likely a physical issue and could be hidden constipation for ex. A gastroenterologist might help.
Our son had issues with bedwetting at night until he was 12 or so and what helped resolve the issue was a system with a pad to put underneath the fitted sheet connected to a device that actually shook the bed as well as making a sound. Our son was (and now in his 20's still is) an extremely sound sleeper, so noises did not do much. But the jolting of his bed at the slightest moisture really made the difference. He was cured of bed wetting in a few weeks. Best of luck!
My son also had bedwetting much later than his peers and we finally heard that constipation could be the cause. We started fiber gummies and that did the trick!
my understanding is that so long as other bladder issues (& diabetes) have been ruled out, the best cure is patience and support — it will resolve within a few years at most.
if your child wants to do sleepovers or camp, there can be a good response to a medicine called desmopressin — but it’s best used for specific situations rather than as general treatment.
good luck and hang in there!
Bed wetting is usually a sign of constipation. Ask for a referral to a urologist. They helped my child understand the connection. Also this site is useful:
https://www.bedwettingandaccidents.com/so/05OM8CPsg/c?w=4076pzL_FvmNxorkGkYAx_jSVBelqfSIZKh3CS4cAA4.eyJ1IjoiaHR0cDovL3d3dy5iZWR3ZXR0aW5nYW5kYWNjaWRlbnRzLmNvbS8iLCJyIjoiYWQ1MTE0MTctNTI5NC00MjY0LTIxZjYtMDZlYjE4ODhjOGE4IiwibSI6Im1haWwiLCJjIjoiMjg4OWQwZTItOWM5NC00YzhjLWFiNjUtZDk3ZjljYmU0YjFlIn0