10YO Daughter with Autism- Looking for Insights & Support

Hi there,

I am the mom to two girls.  My ten year old daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety and being on the autism spectrum (would be considered aspergers if that designation still existed).  My husband and I are trying to figure out how best to support her and what to prioritize.  We have a plan in place for anxiety but would really like to get her support for the ASD including social skills groups, individual cognitive behavioral therapy and frankly would love for her to make a few friends that are in the same boat.  My husband and I are also looking for a therapist who can coach parents on how best to support their kid through this (ie. how do we tell her about the diagnosis, how do we help her deal with feelings of loneliness, how do we set boundaries / help guide her inappropriate behavior without making her feel bad about herself). I would love to speak to someone briefly who has been through this or hear suggestions here for referrals to therapists / social skills groups you have found most helpful.   Many thanks. 

Parent Replies

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Additude.com  I get emails from them, but it is also an on-line magazine for ADD (which has overlap in symptoms with autism spectrum).  Your daughter is lucky that her parents are being proactive.  We kept thinking our kid was just quirky, and it was heartbreaking when he got older when he became very lonely.  It has become better with individual therapy.  I hope you find some good resources. 

Hi, I hope you are well! My 2.5 year old son is going through the process of being evaluated for ASD. I would be happy to connect so we can share resources. I know of a great child/family psychiatrist in Livermore/Dublin near San Ramon (two offices). He is working with me and my husband to help us guide our son. Please message me and I'll give you my phone number and his contact info. 

Sounds like you are off to a great start in providing support for your daughter. I highly recommend joining a terrific Facebook group to gather some of the information you were looking for. It is called East Bay autism parents. There are parents from all over Alameda and CCC in the group who are a wealth of information and can provide you with recommendations specific to your area. General resources are also The Regional Center and your school district’s Special Ed dept. If you are in CCC, The Care Parents Network is terrific and can set you up with a mentor parent. In terms of social groups, check out SocialThinking.com for info and I believe lists of providers as well. LMK if you would like to talk as I have been down this road too.

I am local with a daughter the same age. I would be willing to talk to you and maybe have a play date. Autism was part of my field before children. My daughter does display ADH and Asperger qualities, as I do myself; we are managing them. Honestly, I am not a fan of Asperger Syndrome being removed from DSM. I find it to be fundamentally different from autism. 

Hello! 
I have a 9 y/o daughter who has high functioning autism as well. She is also much more of an Aspergers diagnosis as well and we call it being "aspie" in our house. Our supports are all through her school system. We live in Richmond and she will be entering 4th grade at Wilson (recently renamed Michelle Obama) elementary. It has a full inclusion autism program and has been AMAZING for our daughter. We recently told our daughter about her diagnosis by reading her the book "I'm an Aspie girl" that I got on Amazon. We framed it as a positive thing and my her dad is an Aspie as well so told her all the wonderful things that her daddy has as strengths that she now has. It was all positive for us and if anything she really identified with the book and had a "Me too!" kind of attitude towards it. We've been going this for years, so feel free to reach out if I can help out more or if you would even like our girls to possibly meet! :) You can email me at debg325 [at] yahoo.com

Hi 

My kids are a little older, my daughter is in college & my son is in high school & my career took a back seat so I could address the concerns you raise.  Along our journey I became certified Parent-Mentor with Support for Families, etc.  Everyone is so unique & the contextual situation is relevant to how you bridge & navigate your journey.  Both my kids have language-based learning issues, Sensory issues & AD(H)D, my daughter has anxiety as well but is extremely social, has close friends & doing well in college.  My son on the Asperger's side but they are polar opposites in many ways & I've had to approach bridging their gaps completely differently.  

You can call me if you'd like.  

Our son goes to school in the East Bay. 

Good Luck,

Christine

Hi, 

I just wanted to share a couple resources that could be helpful. My Aspergers/ASD son is 4 so I am more in tune with resources for his age, but I think all of these would work for your daughter. 

Social Skills groups

https://www.sevenbridgestherapy.com/services/child-adult-group-social-l…

https://www.esnorcal.org/social-skills-groups/

If you decide to go the ABA route, we really love Kadiant and our tech has been very helpful with practicing needed skills with my son, including social skills. 

As for making friends:
Camp Krem has been recommended to me by several people that I trust and is for kids /young adults with special needs, but my son is too young. They have one in the Bay Area and a parent support group too.  https://campingunlimited.org/

This is a great site for overall resources in the Bay Area. https://www.sfautismsociety.org/bay-area-autism-nonprofit-guide.html

Feel free to reach out if I can be helpful or you want to talk!