Buying a House

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Home buyer remorse
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Apr 5, 2022

We recently bought a home that I felt in my heart I didn't want but after multiple failed bids and the threat of the interest rate hike looming, we got desperate and bid a ridiculous amount. And it still needs renovations. And now it's tearing me and my relationship apart. I can't stop hating it. I keep blaming myself for not listening to my gut/saying no, and can't stop blaming my partner for pressuring us into being so desperate and can't stop being angry with our realtor for making us feel like it could work for us. Now even before I move in I am counting the years until we move out. Please don't judge me - I know I'm fortunate to even buy a house now but I also feel victim of this terrible competitive market and feel gullible and naive working with our realtor. I want to warn others not to fall into the traps I did and I want to ask for perspective/support/advice on how to feel better and not hurt my marriage. Thank you so much.

Apr 5, 2022

we just did the same thing and I felt the same way for a while. What made me feel better was seeing the renovations (even though they were small, they looked great!) and remembering exactly what you said, we are very lucky. This doesn’t have to be your forever home but it’s an investment for your family. It’s the Bay and I have seen burned out shells of houses selling for half a million on the apps so rest assured you will recoup your investment. It may be a downsize (ours was) but even so, there are lots of families that would jump at the opportunity to have a solid investment and a financial plan. It also helped deleting my real estate apps so I wasn’t constantly checking on what might have been if we made a different decision.

Apr 6, 2022

I understand completely and I feel for you. Been there; still am there, since I miss our former house even after 20 years. It's not the end of the world. There will be bright spots with the new house, and you will get through this, but I definitely think you should see a therapist and/or a marriage/couple counselor for assistance.

Apr 6, 2022

HI there, So sorry to hear of your experience. It seems like you have taken the script out of my mouth. I am in exact same boat. I don’t have any advise for you but if you would like to connect sometime so we can so that you know you are not alone in this boat. Take care.

Apr 6, 2022

Oh you don’t even live in it yet? Of COURSE you feel remorse. It takes all the money in the world to buy something that isn’t even perfect around here. That’s how it goes! I felt pretty much just how you did when I bought my house. Totally trapped, totally remorseful, panicked that all our money and then some had gone to something that needed a new roof, a new yard, new bathroom, pretty much new everything…I didn’t eat for a week. And now I am in LOVE with my little home. Before you move in, it’s not your home yet. You can’t possibly know all the things you’ll love about it when it is. Tell yourself that buying a house is weirdly one of the most terrifying things to do (truly, people of my parents generation came out of the woodwork to tell me similar stories when I told them how I was feeling) and you’re in the most uncomfortable part of the process. Just know that it’ll pass and how you feel now is no evidence of how you’ll feel later. And if in a few years you still feel it’s not the place for you, it’ll undoubtedly have appreciated some absurd amount and you’ll be thrilled with your investment as you look for somewhere else to live.

Apr 6, 2022

My sister had a similar issue (for different reasons). She got "hypno-therapy" and said it really helped her to not fixate on how much she hated the house. Don't know if this is an option for you. If not, maybe try some mediation sessions on letting it go. However you get there she basically had to find a way to let it go that she hated the house, find comfort in it not being her "forever home", and identify a few small things that made it more liveable for her. Good luck!

Apr 6, 2022

Hi,

I feel you; the bay area housing market is incredibly high stakes which leads to a lot of stress. When we closed on our home, I had a panic attack in the bathroom of a cafe. I was ugly crying, sure we had made a terrible mistake that would leave us destitute. Fast forward 6 years and we could not afford to buy our home. At the end of the day, real estate is a great place to park your money; interest rates are low and the property value will increase over time. For better or for worse, this is why it is a multi-million dollar industry.

I would recommend you focus on what you like (or could like) about the house; location, size, exposure, yard, number of bathrooms, there must be something. For what you hate, partner with a friend for a 30 min venting session. You meet for 1hr and each spend 30 minutes venting. That way you aren't forced to vent to your spouse.

Apr 6, 2022

I did this. My partner wanted a home, I didn't want to hold her back. Interest rates were rising. As first time home owners we could get a 'deal'. I didn't want the commitment of a home and knew it would be difficult at best to pay a mortgage. I resented the hell out of her. We fought over finances and working on the home, and in the end it played a part in ending our relationship of 7 years. I never told her, then, how I felt. I think it imperative that you speak with your partner. Resentments just simmer and eventually boil over. No structure is worth it.

Let the blame and self recriminations go. We all goof up. Learn from the experience, however distasteful it is, and plan to sell the house at some point. This is not a forever decision.

Apr 6, 2022

Oh this is so tough. I think you can do a few things-

1. Write down all of the things you want to warn people about and the traps you feel that you fell into. Sometimes getting these things out of your head and onto paper is enough to help you stop harping on them. Once you've written them down you can decide what to do with them, was your experience with this particular realtor bad enough that it deserves a Yelp review? Would you feel comfortable emailing the realtor some thoughts about how you're feeling? Is it something you want to send to your friends who are thinking of buying? Don't decide waht to do until you've written things down and sat on it for a few weeks.

2. Does it help to think about what the alternative situations are? What would it be like if you loved the house? What would it be like if you didn't buy this house and you were still looking? What does it feel like to think you have an option now- you can sell the house and try something new? It sounds a bit like you feel trapped, perhaps thinking of alternatives can help you look at your current situation in a new light.

3. Individual or couples therapy could also be a big help. It may be that you hate this house or it may be that it's the house + something else going on or something else entirely.

Apr 6, 2022

For your relationship: Find someone outside your relationship to whom you can offload you fears and anxieties about this home purchase. It could be a therapist, or a friend, or a bunch of friends. Pull in as many people as you need so that you aren't dumping more on any one person than they can take. I'm not saying stop sharing at all with your partner, but dial it down by like 90% and definitely do not express that you blame them for all this.

It is hard to tell from what you wrote how much of hating the house/needing renovations/counting the years reflects real, insurmountable problems with the house and whether it will work for you, and how much is a full-blown anxiety attack over having spent a lot of money on a house that you are uncertain about. My guess is it is a mix of both. You talk about the house needing renovations, but how many of those need to be done right away, and how many are cosmetic issues that you could live with for a long time before you get around to addressing? Of course you don't love the 70s wood paneling in the den or the laminate counter in the kitchen, but can you live with it for 5 years? 10 years? Maybe there are safety or structural issues that need to be addressed immediately, but other issues you can just put aside until you have time and budget to address them. Most Bay Area homeowners are in this boat. After spending big bucks on a purchase, almost nobody has a wad of cash sitting around for remodeling. It may not be fun, but it's a very, very normal position to be in. I remodeled my kitchen two years ago after living in the house since 1997. The house was built in 1910 and up until the remodel still had original cabinetry, and the sink was in a different room from the range and refrigerator. It had, as they say, issues. But I was able to make it work for 22 years.

Try to find something, anything, you like about the house. Maybe it's the location, the yard, they layout, the tile in the foyer. It can be a tiny thing. Maybe it's just being a homeowner and being able to hang stuff on your walls without angering your landlord. Maybe it's that you share it with your partner. But for your mental health, try and find something and when you find yourself unhealthily focusing on all the things you hate, try and hold onto that thing you like. Reframe the things you hate into "things that need improvement." I hope you can find some peace with your purchase.

Apr 6, 2022

I feel really sorry to hear that. We recently bought a home too. After 2 years of house hunting, similar to your case, we were desperate, even one real estate agent left us and thought we would never get it at our price , we put all we could, and it still needs renovation :) It wasn't what we were dreaming during the 2 years of house hunting, our kids were crying knowing that we will move to this house. Before we moved in, we could only see the cons of this home. Fast forward >>>> We have moved in for a couple months. After the essential renovation – we gradually liked it. Our kids say that they liked it too. It is simply that we have our home now, we could change anything we want, the house may not be great today, but each week, we improve and personalize it. I know how it feels and hope you will feel better soon!!

Apr 6, 2022

I feel ya! We bought our home 23 years ago, so the market was just heating up. We ended up working with a realtor that we didn't really like or trust (don't even ask how we ended up working with him! Talk about stupid and naive!) and we ended up spending like 12% more than we needed to (we since discovered what the other offers were.) We also didn't love the house, but were under pressure (I was 8 months pregnant at the time!) Overall not ideal. After a year we were able to update the kitchen, and after 5 years we added a 2nd bathroom and another bedroom. There were things I hated every day until we were able to do a larger remodel after about 12 years. I don't have any specific advice to offer but just wanted you to know you are not the only one. I will say that the key issue I hear in your post is to not let this tear your relationship apart. To the extent you need to blame someone, focus your negative energy on the realtor not your partner (or yourself). Your partner's desperation came from someplace and it would probably be helpful to try to understand why they felt that way. On the plus side, now you own a house and in this area that is very unlikely to be a bad investment. Sometime soon you will be able to sell it and get something that you love. In the meantime, focus on the things that you do like (the neighborhood, yard, some feature like a nice window seat or view) and put some energy into setting it up to be as comfortable and pleasing as possible. And the time will pass and soon you will be able to remodel or move and then sometime after that the time you spent in that house you hated will be just a memory. Successfully buying a house in this market is no small feat! You've definitely put yourself in a better position for the future.

Apr 6, 2022

I am so sorry to hear. I feel you. The day I got a call from the realtor that we got the place, my heart sank. I was not happy. I was filled with dread and remorse. It has been almost 5 years since that day. We emptied our bank account and bought a house we could barely afford. We can not afford a lot of the work that the house needs nor do we have the knowledge, time, and experience to chase down the right people to get the work done. We went with cheaper bids with a few things that needed to get done and now we have to spend even more money to fix the bad jobs. I hate owning our house. It took us being locked in the house due to the pandemic and being forced to accept this place as our home to not grieve the loss of our blissful existence as renters. On the brink of depression, with therapy and medication, in order to survive and persevere, we had to keep reminding ourselves of the good things about the house. It truly feels terrible to get a small fixer for such an enormous amount. We kept going back to the reasons we decided to bid on this house and reminded ourselves that we wanted to buy a house to have stability — to not have to move because of someone else’s decision. We didn’t know it then but our beloved house we rented before we bought is now occupied by the owners. We would have had to move anyway. We have friends who had to move because their place got sold. We kept reminding ourselves that this was a beloved home for previous owners and owners before them. Although minor, we are beginning to appreciate the freedom to change things about the house that we could not as renters. I began gardening and are experimenting with landscaping. More happy memories are made, less terrible I feel about the house. We ended up doing couple’s therapy. It truly will take both of you wanting to make the relationship work and being on the same side to navigate the house and make it home. For the past 5 years, I have fantasized about moving to a better place. Alas, it seems that is financially not feasible and child seems to love the house, so, we are making a stand here and trying to accept and see the good in this old house that needs a lot of love.

Apr 6, 2022

It's never easy accepting things as they are, rather than what you want them to be.

I'd say we were in a somewhat similar boat 6 years ago... yes the renovations were a lot of work and consumed significant time, energy and funds, but the result was that we were able to make the house truly our own. Everything we renovated is functional for our lifestyle and to our tastes. Within a year our buyers anxiety faded and we've never regretted it.

Certain things I first hated about the house I barely even notice, or now appreciate. Many things we couldn't stand but could change, we did (pink bathroom, broken and single pane windows, lack of a second bathroom). We've become friends with several neighbors, and it's so nice knowing other families in the neighborhood and knowing many of them are truly invested in their community.

I'd suggest changing your framing, if you can... Be grateful for what you have and the opportunity to truly own a home and make it yours. Best of luck

Apr 8, 2022

I' so sorry you're feeling this way. I've been in that spot, as have many people. Unless you are just swimming in money, I imagine most Bay Area homebuyers feel this way to some extent. You have to comprise on budget, size, location, condition or all of the above to afford a home here. In terms of the relationship issue, is this a typical dynamic for you? I ask because it was for me and my husband: I am more cautious and care deeply about the process of our decision-making (are we doing it together, are my concerns heard, are our values in alignment?) whereas he is open to more risk and cares more about the final outcome than the process itself (in this case: did we get a house?). Our last home-buying process really cemented that difference for us and we have since spent a lot of time talking about that and trying to be more aware of that dynamic in our communication. As for the house itself, try to focus on the reasons you were looking into buying at all: was it for more space? more certainty about your housing situation? to lock in your housing costs? In our first home, I SERIOUSLY hated it and bought in almost the exact same circumstances in that we were tired of looking, my husband just wanted to own something, we paid too much (at the time) for a place that needed substantially more work than the updated comps, and I was angry at my realtor and my husband and myself. I stewed in that hate for a few weeks, then I decided to focus more on what I did like (the location, ability to make changes as I wanted, freedom from worrying about being priced out) and slowly over time we made the updates and we felt at home. Six years later, we needed more space and sold it easily, getting back more than we put into it. If we hadn't overpaid for that place I hated, it might have been harder to purchase our current home.

Apr 14, 2022

My heart goes out to you. I struggled for years with buyer's remorse and deep regrets. When shopping for a house, although it was incredibly frustrating to keep bidding and losing out for 2 years, it felt exciting and hopeful. After our offer was accepted, I immediately realized that a) I didn't expect this one to be accepted like all the other ones; b) I made a mistake. I do not love the house. In my best mood, I can say the house is adequate. Many things are old and broken. What seemed like it was working really was broken but the sellers had quickly "fixed" it to look better or hide the issue. It's been 4 years. I still do not love the house, and the things I dislike about the house are things I cannot change or cost prohibitive to change: the house's northwest facing orientation, lack of light, the particular block where the house sits in the neighborhood, historic casement windows that do nothing to block wind, bugs, or wildfire smoke, sloped yard, damaged floor, lack of privacy from neighbors, etc. For over a million dollars, we settled for less than what we wanted and our realtor told us that we were very lucky to get this house. We thought we'd be able to remodel, decorate and make this house feel fresh and ours but we keep spending money on things that are necessary but do not bring joy -- roof leak, broken appliances, plumbing issues, broken windows, rotten fence, water damage, rodent infestation, mold, etc. Property taxes keep going up. It's not easy to be grateful for a million dollar fixer upper. The first 2 years were the most difficult. We thought the local highly ranked school would work out, but it wasn't a good fit for our child. Because we spent nearly all the money we had and because our housing cost more than doubled after buying a house, we could not afford a private school, so we settled for less than what we wanted at the local public school. Moving was expensive, we went into more debt to add a second bathroom. Home buyer's remorse + moving + bathroom construction + frustration over our child's school experience led to clinical depression and anxiety for both me and my spouse. I cried constantly. I started twice a week therapy and went on an antidepressant. My spouse and I started a couple's therapy which made our marriage worse. I think it was partially because my spouse was unwilling and only did it because I wanted us to be in a therapy. Therapy made my spouse feel worse about them and us. So, we stopped. The couple's therapy revealed that the house purchase and move were a major stress test and brought up everything that wasn't working in our marriage that had remained concealed due to our busy lives and our conflict avoidance tendencies. 4 years at this house, we feel a little better. We paid off all the credit card debt from the move and bathroom addition, we landscaped and improved privacy, I bought SAD lamps for us, we refinanced and was able to reduce our payment enough to be able to send our child to a private school. I received a promotion which is allowing us to start saving for a renovation that will hopefully address some of the major pain points. I continue once a week therapy which has been helpful in practicing mindfulness and gratitude. It takes time to feel ok with a new house, and we're beginning to accept that this may not be our forever home.

Apr 15, 2022

This may sound silly, and I don’t at all want to minimize your feelings, but I wanted to share I have found a lot of peace (after the insane home buying process, covid, etc) in gardening and plants. If your new place doesn’t have a current garden or space to build one, even setting up pots all over with plants can be mood-boosting. I scour Facebook marketplace for pots and plants (and have found checking out local nurseries a great way to get to know my new area) and have made my home feel like a home AND found a form of self-care I never knew I would be drawn to. Plants are a way to beautify a less-than-perfect home and make it yours and something to feel “proud” of, which is also something I didn’t really understand or pay attention to when I was a renter. Putting your hands in the dirt of your new home may be a quite literal way to ground yourself in the experience and connect with the space. It has been that way for me. Wishing you peace with your decision. <3

May 7, 2022
Buying a Multi-Family Home in Berkeley?
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Mar 23, 2022

Hello,

We're considering buying a multi-family home in Berkeley and would love advice on others who have done the same. We're considering a multi-family home for a few reasons 1) We love the idea of living with another family but everyone having their own space 2) We're hoping that this might get us more square footage and backyard space for our price-point and also share the cost of maintenance and taxes, while still remaining in the BUSD (we've got 2 kids) 3) Long-term we would like to have a unit that my mother-in-law could live in.

We're considering either buying a multi-unit property by ourselves and becoming landlords, or purchasing a multi-family with our close friends who are also a family of 4. We would love to learn from anyone who's done something similar!

Mar 23, 2022

Do you have any experience with being a landlord? Do you feel comfortable going into business with close friends? (that is what buying a property together would be) Have you thought about what happens if one family wants to move or sell, but the other does not; or what happens if you own both units and want to move your MIL into the one occupied by your tenants/friends? It is all complicated; a few people do it, most commonly as TIC and then do a condo conversion as a way of divorcing the property. You sound like you are just beginning to think about this, so I'd encourage you to do a lot more thinking before commiting to a project.

Mar 25, 2022

We have just purchased a duplex with another couple in Oakland. We had started looking in Berkeley, but the economics did not work. A few thoughts:

-It took us much longer to find a property that worked for everyone than we'd originally anticipated. Bear in mind that the more people involved, the harder it will be to find a property that works for everyone.

-There are a good number of duplexes in Berkeley (and more in Oakland) but very few of them have two relatively equal units -- most have an owner's unit and a smaller in-law unit that's clearly a rental. Often the second unit is a dark basement or a very small ADU. So none of these properties worked for us -- you may run into a similar issue.

-Financing requirements are different for a multi-family than a single-family -- multi-family properties are considered higher risk, so they usually require a higher down payment and also have a higher interest rate.

-Also factor in the expense of hiring a lawyer who specializes in co-owned properties: you will want to have a contact with the family you co-purchase with, and there are many legal details you will encounter relating to ownership structure, title, etc. that you will want a lawyer's advice on.

-You will find that a good number of duplexes that interest you have current tenants -- this is another issue and expense to factor into your budget.

-The properties that would work for you as landlords renting vs. couples co-owning will likely be different properties. Before you begin your search, you will need a clear idea of which one you want.

-If you choose to co-own with another couple, you will need to apply for a mortgage together, and will essentially be business partners, with legally linked finances. This is a big deal -- make sure you are comfortable with this before you begin.

I am very happy with how things have turned out for us, but it is definitely harder and more complicated that I knew going in. Good luck with your search!

Mar 28, 2022

I agree with the answers you've received already. First and foremost, before starting a genuine search, decide whether you want to partner with another family to jointly purchase a property together or be willing to be a landlord, owning the entire property. I know this is your question, and I suggest not trying both on for size. Make an informed decision after considering what suits your needs. If purchasing jointly, everything involved in a mortgage loan will be shared with this other family, and can be complicated since both of you will have credit reviewed, financial information shared in the approval of the loan, etc. Also, if your goal is to have your MIL move in eventually, she would be moving into the unit that is owned by someone else - there would be an entire process of buying out the other family, or somehow coming to an amicable agreement that the family would be willing to depart a unit they own. Financially, it's helpful to have another partner share in maintenance and taxes, but can be complicated at the start of searching and when you'd like your MIL to move in.

It is simpler to purchase a multi-family property on your own in terms of securing the mortgage loan and all title will be in your name; however, you would not be able to charge your tenants for maintenance fees and property taxes as their landlord, something to consider. In addition, as mentioned, prices of duplexes vary because often there is one vacant unit and one unit that is tenant occupied (and more often than not, a well-priced duplex is because that tenant is a long-term tenant paying very low rent), which you'll want to factor into how much the tenant will offset your mortgage. Look carefully at disclosures. Your ideal scenario is to find a vacant duplex, but those are far more rare, and you would be paying a premium in the purchase price of the property since you can set the rent for the other unit at current market rent.

Also, an important thing to consider - if you do purchase a tenant occupied property and intend to do so with a partner/family, you would need to consider the challenges of an eviction process. I believe in Berkeley, the eviction process is one of the strictest in the Bay. I don't know the provisions of Berkeley's laws, but you will likely have to buy out the tenant and ensure all the legal processes are met before you can evict. Another thought about whether you want to be landlord v. partnered in a property, if a tenant-occupied property.

If a reasonably priced property is a consideration (and I use "reasonably priced" loosely, this is the Bay Area!) - Berkeley properties are going for a significant amount over asking. You may consider a multi-family property in Oakland/North Oakland, depending on how strongly you want to be in Berkeley. Know that whatever the list price in Berkeley, expect to offer over asking. You are likely to offer over in Oakland as well, but the list prices do not start as high as in Berkeley. Be patient--it may take some time to find the right one--and look for something that's right for your family. Good luck!

Mar 30, 2022

Hello,

You have gotten good advice about the legal aspects of this, and that's clearly so important. I love the idea of some kind of co-housing arrangement (with separate living spaces) and considered purchasing a duplex with another couple many years ago. These were dear friends whom I trusted completely. In the end, we did not find a good place to buy together and ended up buying separately. I'm so grateful that it worked out that way. The couple I was planning to do this with ended up getting divorced and having financial difficulties that I never would have anticipated. I am still dear friends with the wife, but the husband also had significant mental health issues that contributed to the end of their marriage and my friendship with him. If I had purchased with them, I would have been tied up in this, and they would have needed to sell their portion of the house. I think that the issues about this would have been damaging to our friendship and possibly also to my finances, and certainly to the planned co-housing arrangement. At the time that I was thinking of doing this, there was no way to predict that this would happen. It's true that anything can happen to any of us in life--and unknowns are part of what we all have to deal with. But in buying together, you will be tied to this couple and their relationship and financial fortunes. That may be just fine, or it may be a risk worth taking. In my case, I had really not thought through the implications before hand.

Mar 30, 2022

We have a multi-family property in Oakland, and previously lived as tenants in a multi-family property in Berkeley. We loved our Berkeley setup as tenants, but buying our own property and being landlords is very different.

We bought our property in Oakland with all the units occupied and had to do what is called an owner move-in in order to be able to live in one of the units. This required additional cash and a lawyer to execute correctly, so that is an additional consideration to think of when looking at properties with tenants.

Another thing to be mindful of is that the tenant rights in both Berkeley and Oakland are very progressive, which is good for the tenants but not great for landlords. Once you rent a unit out, it is typically very difficult to get tenants out, because of the nature of the laws. Just something to keep in mind.

Mar 30, 2022

Many years ago, I purchased a three unit building in SF with a friend.

- We knew that our lives would eventually change and agreed to an exit plan. Our goal was to convert the units into condos, which would lower our financial entanglement, ease the process of selling individual units as well as increase the value of each unit.

- We used a lawyer who was familiar with the condo conversion process who also provided CC&Rs (Covenants, Conditions & Restrictions) for our little HOA (home owners' association). The CC&Rs were the rules we agreed to and codified many, many, issues such as, not allowing short term rentals, division of common expenses, how work would be managed, etc... The most important thing that the attorney said to us was that it was important to communicate and work with my friend on the issues and the moment we had to pull out the CC&Rs to force the other person to abide by the rules was when the relationship starts to fail.

- Fortunately neither of us were totally maxed out financially to buy this building, remodel our units and keep up with the maintenance. We recently spent $50k to replace the roof. We also spent another $40k to fix dry rot and paint the exterior. I know of other small HOAs that struggle to do maintenance because one or more of the parties can't or isn't willing to pay.

- We both married (other people), had kids and moved to the suburbs. All the units are being rented and despite some stress, it has been worth it. Once all the kids graduate, both my friend and I, hopefully with our respective spouses, plan to move back. If we decide to sell, it'll be easier to sell individual condos.

- It was really terrific going though the process of buying a home with a friend vs doing it alone. While we lived in the building together, we had so much fun! When we were single, we had our own places but a friend always nearby. Even when we married and had babies, we could share that experience and it was just so easy and fun to hang out and support each other.

- I think that it helped that we were both financially secure, and partly because of that we could be generous with each other and not have to make everything "fair" (because what's fair to you might not be fair to me). It also helped that neither of us always needed to win. The fact that there were just two of us at the start made things much easier. The more people involved, the harder it would have been.

I hope you can make it work. I know of at least two other couples who did what you are thinking of and they raised their kids all the way through college. One family had a great time and the other family had partners who divorced and that made things unpleasant for many years. Good luck!!

Apr 6, 2022
Size of Down Payment in this market
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Aug 16, 2021

We are all well aware of this frenzied market - I'm genuinely curious how much people are putting down in terms of downpayment, I know general rule of thumb is 20%. So are folks out there putting down 300-400K for $1.5mm - $2mm homes, or do you put down less and just pay up more in the monthly payments?

Aug 16, 2021

Yep, just purchased a home in oakmore neighborhood in Oakland, still did the standard 20% down

Aug 18, 2021

I think you'll find people doing either of these things. Some will put down 20% and others will put down less and pay for PMI. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what proportion of buyers is putting down 20% vs less.

Aug 18, 2021

We paid $950k for our house and put down $200k, enough to qualify for a conventional loan. I know someone who put down close to $1M for a $1.7M house to get a conventional mortgage instead of jumbo loan to keep the monthly mortgage low. But typically it’s 20% or more down payment to be competitive in a multiple offer situation.

Aug 18, 2021

As first time home buyers we could put down less. We only put down 10% because it was what we could afford. You have to carry Mortgage Insurance if you put down less than 20%, but the interest rates are so good right now we didn't think it would have been beneficial to wait until we had saved the full 20%.

Aug 18, 2021

I am not a real estate expert, but I am in escrow on a house in the area, so I know a bit about the market. To be competitive here these days, you have to waive all contingencies. That includes appraisal and loan contingencies. In order to feel secure doing that, you have to have plenty of cash so that there is no issue if the appraisal comes in low, and you have to have a small enough mortgage that you aren't concerned about not being approved. Or else you make an all-cash offer. We recently received a bit of a financial windfall, so we were able to offer more than 50% down. Our agent said that there is nothing unusual about seeing offers with that much cash. Lots of tech people have made plenty during the pandemic. We live in crazy times.

Aug 18, 2021

I know it's hard to believe people have that much cash lying around but yes, as a very active East Bay Realtor, I am seeing people putting 20%-60% down within any price point regularly. In a competitive situation when a seller is reviewing multiple offers the seller is more likely to pick the buyer with a higher downpayment, especially if the purchase price and all other terms are identical or at least very similar. One reason for this is because a buyer with more money down is more likely to close escrow without any issues even in the event of an under appraisal.

Aug 18, 2021

You probably can't buy a house with less that 20% down, You should put down 25-30% and depending on where you are looking offer over asking price. Just made an offer for a $1.1 M home in Oakland which went for $400k over asking.
Good luck

Aug 19, 2021

We bought a few years ago but we did not have 20% down payment. We put down 12% down. We thought we needed to put down 20% but our financial advisor and realtor both told us that with our income (around 250k) and our excellent credit score plus stable employment history, we could put down 10% and get a house. I took out a 401k loan because I intend to stay at my company practically forever and my position is pretty secure because I serve an essential and unique role, we decided this was worth taking the risk. With our savings and a bit of loan against 401k, we scraped enough money for 12% plus a bit of reserve for moving and minor repair / renovation. We found a house that is much smaller and in need of many updates but it met our minimum requirements. Our monthly payment is high. We practically doubled our housing cost by buying this place. It was painful and I regretted buying this house which requires endless work. Thankfully, we were able to refinance recently so we feel a little better about the cost. It is not our dream house (outdated kitchen, bath, weird layout, crumbling driveway, etc.) but we got our foot in the housing market at least. We put down $140k as down payment and spent $50k to fix up the house and add a small bathroom before we moved in.

Aug 19, 2021

We purchased in that range a year ago and put down 50%. Before we got our home we made offers on 6 others houses and always lost out to all cash offers, including one where we offered the same price as the winning bid (over 50% down, no contingencies) and made it very clear we would have gone higher. The seller took the equal bid all cash and moved on. If it's a really popular house, I don't think 20% vs 50% matters if you're against non-contingent 100% cash offers. If you can't do that, I think the best strategy is to go for not-perfect houses that are less likely to attract those kind of offers. Our house was not our dream house but it was good enough, and we're slowly making it better. If we had continued to make offers on houses purchased with all cash in this rising market, we would have seen our buying power diminish even more. Best of luck!

Aug 25, 2021

In some cases there is no down payment. People borrow money before they make an offer so that they can just buy the house, almost like writing a check for groceries. This money may be borrowed from a brokerage account or from parents. Many sellers prefer the quick close that they get with this method. Every situation is different.

Sep 2, 2021

Just closed on a residential income property for 1.47 m in NOBE. We did all cash, and tenant buy-out. (Tech pandemic windfall) The front home needs top to bottom major work, but the duplex is in great condition. Getting a mortgage would have been hard because of this house’s condition, so we’re renovating and getting one later for tax reasons. Evidently we got a bargain and lucked out getting this property for under 1.5. We lost our first offer for a 3 bed 1 bath house with 2 bed one bath apartment in Berkeley for 1.85 m -in cash. This market is wild. I feel some guilt for contributing to the ridiculousness. However, being a black disabled woman means no one expected me to be able to ever afford a home here in the first place, so celebrating it happened!

Oct 2, 2021
Freeing Up Money to Buy in this Crazy Market
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Jun 27, 2021

Realizing this is very much a first world problem, I wonder if anyone has any insight or mortgage brokers to recommend that can help us get a big mortgage to buy our next house, or ???. We currently are in our "starter home", which we've outgrown physically, but can't afford to buy a new home without selling this one first because our money is tied up in retirement accounts or stocks that would be expensive to liquidate due to capital gains tax. Is there a possibility of a big bridge loan? We have a reasonable amount invested, but the capital gains would be prohibitive to remove $1M at one time. Maybe we borrow against it? We have about $500,000 in a municipal fund that could be liquidated quickly, then another $1.5-$2M in non-retirement vehicles that would be the expensive funds so we don't want to use them other than security. Say about another $400,000 in equity in our starter home, and the houses we'd like to look at are in the $1.5M range. It seems crazy to have more than $2M in assets AND a house BUT not be able to buy a new house! Can anyone shed some light on this - maybe we are missing something obvious! Thanks.

Jun 27, 2021

We are currently in the process of looking to buy a house in the $1.5M range. We are fortunate that we have about 15% of this in cash/liquid assets (we refi'd our current mortgage to 30 years to save cash). You can get preapproved I believe even if you have close to 10% (what we did with our first home through Wells Fargo). We will have to have a jumbo loan but then when we sell we are planning on refi'ing in the new home. We've had no problem getting pre-approved. Hope this makes sense and good luck!

Jun 30, 2021

We just went through this - a move from a starter home where all three kids were in one room and barely a yard to a much bigger house in Lamorinda. I don't have experience with selling stocks, and we definitely didn't consider liquidating our retirement - the few financial advisors I mentioned the idea to said it was something not to be done. The answer for us, as scary as it was, was that we had to suck it up and sell our first home first and live in a rental while the house was going on the market and for a couple months after the sale (and believe me we put it off for years because of our fear of selling our foothold in this property market and being left high and dry). Yes, there are bridge loans - MPR, our mortgage broker, does them. They are extraordinarily expensive - think $50,000 or so out the door immediately, plus $10,000 or so for each month before you sell your house and pay it off. We thought about going this route but even aside from the cost the big known unknown was how much our house would sell for. It seemed like we were bound on the buy-side to either shoot too low and end up with regrets or shoot too high and end up with bigger regrets. We ended up lucking out and being able to buy contingent on our sale, but the only reason our seller took it seriously was that our house was going on the market 2 days from the date of our offer, with ten days on market, in a very desirable location, so it was all very immediate. And it would have worked out anyway, even if we'd not gotten the house we have, but that took some of the fear off as we went on market. It's definitely a first-first-first-world problem, maybe an "only in the Bay area" problem, but it's scary to have a foot on the housing market and relinquish it without knowing for sure if it will all work to get you in again. The good news is that it probably will work out, especially if you were somewhat flexible about your aspirations (our realtor said you should pick two or three things that you really want about your house, but be flexible about the rest). The market is tightest at the lower end, and somewhat worse in Oakland/Berkeley/El Cerrito than in Lamorinda.

Jun 30, 2021

Yes, this is a crazy real estate market, indeed! I would start be making sure you are working with experienced professionals - both realtor and mortgage broker. I would highly recommend Zach Griffin at Guaranteed Rate Affinity, (510)325-1095 for your financing. He has helped me with several loans over the years. He has years of experience, and he is good at coming up with solutions to challenging situations. Good luck with finding your next home!

Jun 30, 2021

We are in a similar situation. It sounds like a bridge loan might be your best bet. My realtor recommended Ted Maniatis. We havent been able to use the loan yet because of our crazy market. But I appreciate the work he did for us on the front end. He was good at answering my questions. https://www.mprfinancial.com/bio.php?b=tmaniatis

Jun 30, 2021

We just went through this exact situation, as we have some savings but need the equity from our house to put towards a new house. We are moving from the East Bay to the North Bay, and long story short - we are selling our house to get the equity, moving to a short term rental apartment in the meantime, and then house hunting with the cash in hand to put down on the new house combined with our savings. I’m in no way an expert on this but will just tell you our experience and thought process in case you find it helpful.
We tried a down payment bridge loan (you can do that or a bridge loan for the entire price of your home) - it’s extremely expensive (fees, interest and points all added up to a hefty payment) and the monthly interest payment increased our debt to income ratio for the traditional loan we needed to secure (as you don’t pay the bridge loan off until you sell your house) . So because of all these things we decided against it.
Another option was taking out a HELOC on our home but it wouldn’t get us as much equity as we will get once we actually sell.
So, we went the route that I mentioned above - the downside is having to move twice, but besides the annoyance, it was our best route to knowing exactly how much we have to put towards our new house which at the end of the day was most important to us, as we are looking for our forever home. We are in the process of getting our house ready to sell and it will go on the market in early August.

Jun 30, 2021

We had a similar circumstance. We ended up relying on loans from extended family to get us through, but our mortgage person (a broker, not at a traditional bank) did make a bridge lender available to us. Just be aware that the bridge is EXPENSIVE -- like six months ago they were asking for 9% interest. When compared with the fact that your 30 year fixed loan is below 3%, its an outrageous amount of money. We also did liquidate some stocks but mainly because we were ready to take the gains and reallocate the assets into another home purchase.

Jun 30, 2021

Talk to a lender to see what your options are. If you have a HELOC, home equity line of credit, you can use that as your down payment. Another option is a bridge loan but only some lenders offer it. Another option which is also the least favorable option I can see you doing is move to a temporary housing while you sell your house and look for a new house.

Jun 30, 2021

Talk to your investment professional. You can margin your non-taxable securities and create your own bridge loan. I would also talk to a mortgage broker before starting to move any money around. You'll need to document everything and create a paper trail. I've used Jill Lyons at CMG Financial personally and I've referred clients to her. (925) 983-3073.

Jun 30, 2021

Morsa Aziz is a wonderful loan broker. Kind and smart. Really knows her stuff! You can tell her Amelia recommended her via BPN. (510) 685-0461

http://www.morsaaziz.com/ http://www.morsaaziz.com/ ≈

Jun 30, 2021

If you have substantial enough investments, you can take a margin loan against your investments. This is usually a very low interest rate because the brokerage is essentially loaning you your own money. Reach out to the brokerage that has all of your investments to inquire about this option. The margin loan is how some people manage to make all cash offers without liquidating their investments & incurring capital gains taxes.

If you have substantial enough equity in your house, you can apply for a HELOC and use that. Note that HELOCs will only loan up to around 75% of the LTV for your house, so as an oversimplified example, if your house is worth $1 million and you owe $250k on your current mortgage, the bank will only give you a HELOC for $500k because $500k + $250k = $750k which is 75% of the $1 million value. HELOCs tend to have pretty low interest rates, but higher rates than a standard mortgage. Any mortgage broker can do these.

A bridge loan is an option, but I believe it has a higher interest rate than either of the above options.

You should investigate the above three options. You can also consider some combination of the above options with any cash you already have saved. All have some level of risk, so make sure you can get a mortgage to pay back the loans after closing.

Jul 7, 2021
How many homes did you bid on before your offer was accepted?
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Mar 25, 2019

Hi everyone, we are a family from outstate who are planning a move there this August. We've been on a house hunt with our amazing realtor since October, and have so far bid on 4 houses. Our budget is 1.2M and our (non contingent) offers have not been accepted. Either my husband and I have flown out to physically tour at the house before offering. We're looking mostly at the Berkeley/Richmond Heights/El Cerrito area, and we're trying not to get discouraged. The market is very different out there! My questions: I feel like our budget is realistic for what we're looking for (3/2, extra living space or guest room, hills with a view), but what would you say the average # of offers are before having one accepted? Also, for those who have sold houses to outstate buyers, has it been a deterrent if one of the buyers (if the buyer is part of a couple) haven't seen the house?

Thank you in advance!

Mar 25, 2019

Sadly, $1.2M seems like it should be reasonable for a 3/2 with extra living space and a view, but in Berkeley it is not, at least not in today's market. It's in range (but not a given) for East Richmond Heights and El Cerrito, so I'd focus the search there and just be persistent. I don't think most sellers care (or necessarily even know) if both buyers have seen the house, but they do care about contingencies. You say your offers have been non-contingent, but do you mean that they were not contingent on the sale of your current house, or that you waived the inspection and appraisal contingencies? The former is expected in the Bay Area, and the latter has become depressingly common and will sometimes trump higher dollar offers. Find out what the houses you lost out on ultimately closed for, and have your realtor follow up with the seller's agent--this will give you some insight into why your offer didn't make the cut and might help guide your next steps. Good luck, and welcome to the East Bay!

Mar 27, 2019

1 in 10 is the chance of the bid being accepted. Things to consider, Berkeley-has better school district, Richmond and El Cerrito has more affordable houses. Once I realized the bidding chances, I convinced our agent to bid on multiple houses simultaneously (That took a lot of convincing!) because I had a deadline to move from my old housing. Even if your bid is accepted you have 7 or 10 days to walk away with no questions or losses. During THAT time I look at the houses more closely and read all the disclosures. I know my approach to house-buying is against the rules and norms and unheard of, but I was satisfied with the outcome-I got the house in Berkeley hills and it was 1987 built (brand new by local standards).

Mar 27, 2019

Don't have recent experience bidding on houses, but wanted to recommend an area close to the areas you specify that have hills and the size house you describe for 1.2 million or less.
Check out Painted Pony Road, Morningside. Drive and Amend Road areas of Richmond.

Mar 27, 2019

I can't speak to Richmond Heights or El Cerrito, but in Berkeley you're very unlikely to find a 3/2 in reasonable condition for 1.2. Alas :(

Mar 27, 2019

This was back in 2000 and we were here physically looking. We bid on 6 houses in Berkeley, Kensington, El Cerrito. It felt like they were playing baseball and we were playing football. We weren't even in the league. We finally looked at a house that "pet-rich." Our realtor called us after the Open House and said there was zero interest due to condition. We got it $10 over asking. We then needed to redo all of the floors and the roof immediately. Over time, we redid the windows, furnace, some drainage, painting, deck, etc.

Maybe you want to move here and rent for a short time. That will give you some time to make a more considered decision. Also, it is widely reported that the market is softening, so perhaps things will cool down.

Good luck and welcome!

Mar 27, 2019

Similar budget, similar locations, similar requirements. It took us 13 offers and over a year and we got lucky only because it was a flip with an out-of-state seller who reviewed offers as they came in rather than waiting to review them all after 2 weeks. That was 5 years ago when market was still crazy but maybe not as crazy in El Cerrito where we ended up. You should have better luck in Richmond Heights and El Cerrito than Berkeley. Most sellers do not care if you have seen the house - they generally pick the highest bid with fewest contingencies. All cash offers are also common and hard to beat. Also make sure your realtor is being honest with you on what the listed price is vs what typically is offered. Some homes are significantly under-priced and sell way over the listing price so realistically you're looking at home listed in the 900K-1M range with a 1.2M budget. Good luck!

Mar 27, 2019

Offers on 4 houses before we realized everyone we were competing with were writing no-contingency, 200k over asking, all-cash offers. We down-sized what we had been looking for so we could offer more over asking and were able to purchase on our 5th try.

This was near the middle of the housing market recovery and prices got much more crazy as the months went by. Things seem to have cooled off a bit since then but if you think you’re offering the right price it might be that you’re going up against the all-cash people.

Mar 27, 2019

We've lost count on number of houses we'd bid before our offer got accepted (it was way over 4) so don't be discouraged - you'll get a great place soon, I'm sure

Mar 27, 2019

It is tough. Our house was our 9th offer after a 3 year search. We were 2nd place to offers $100k+ over ours, all cash, at least 4 times. "No contingencies" is needed, but still not as strong as "no contingencies all cash" (which a lot of people can offer here, unfortunately for the rest of us).

Check Redfin on each house you are bidding on to make sure you are at or above the "Redfin estimate" for each listing. If your budget is $1.2M you should be bidding on homes listing for mid $800ks - high $900ks. Get pre-approved by First Republic Bank (unless they've fallen out of favor for some reason - agents like them because their appraisers are local so they know there will be no hiccups - this matters even without appraisal contingencies). Make sure you write a "love letter". They really do help. Also make sure your agent can help source off market listings - I'm seeing more and more of those in our neighborhood in the East Bay.

Mar 27, 2019

Personally I don't think being out-of-state or only having one of the buyers tour the house is a deterrent. There are a lot of buyers from out-of-state or even out-of-country that buy here. Unfortunately this is a seller's market and it's not uncommon for people to spend 1+ years trying to land the perfect house. A lot of people end up compromising a bit on their must-have list or they over-bid to land a house sooner.

Mar 27, 2019

We bought a house in North Berkeley in November 2018. We had been renting in the area for the past two years and had dabbled in buying a home about a year prior. We learned a few things pretty quickly. 1) houses in desirable neighborhoods (esp close to Bart) almost always go for over asking price 2) non-contingent and all-cash offers help 3) even with those two things, it can still be extremely difficult. The only way we got the house we're in was putting in an initial offer over asking and even then we had to do some outbidding. I think the first time we tried to go through the process we weren't aware of all of this and it was very discouraging. Going into it with the above things in mind the second time was helpful. Best of luck to you and your family- you'll find something perfect, no doubt!

Mar 27, 2019

I am an agent in the are you are looking to buy. Your budget of $1.2m is a little low for the berkeley hills with a view, yes for Richmond Heights and El Cerrito. Besides working with a knowledgeable agent, it also matters which lender you are working with. If your offers were all coming in close to sold prices, then you know you just need to push up your offer price a little higher next time. If you are consistently coming in a lot lower then you know those houses you like are out of your budget. My suggestion to you is to move here first and stay in a short-term rental, then go look at all the houses to get a better feel for the neighborhoods before making any offers. But I know moving twice is a huge pain.

Mar 27, 2019

Hi, there. I hate to be a "Debbie Downer", but I think that something in your desired home profile has to drop to a lower priority to meet your budget; our 2/1 home in the Berkeley flats (i.e. - no view) is currently "zestimated" at $1.2MM. Because it is a seller's market, homes are typically priced far lower than they expect to get, with the intention of attracting interest and then causing a bidding war. El Cerrito and Richmond Heights will cost less than Berkeley, but be please look carefully at the public schools and be prepared for what you find: California public schools have been deeply damaged by the freeze on property taxes passed in the 1970's, so unless a school district has a parcel tax to make up for it (Berkeley has one, Albany has one - and it's still very hard) things can be very difficult indeed. Personally, I can deal with not having the view; I can walk to BART and the grocery store.

Mar 27, 2019

I don’t know what the average number of offers is but suspect it’s north of 4.

We spent a year visiting close to 200 houses, requesting and seriously reviewing 30+ disclosure packets and making 9 offers. At a minimum there were 3 competing offers and at the high end, we made an offer on a lovely home in North Berkeley along with 15 others! It was an ugly time but we finally bought a home after losing the previous house despite having the high bid because the sellers asked the second highest bidder, who was all cash, to match our bid.

Another option might be to rent a house for a year and look to buy while you are here. This way you could also get to know the different towns.

Mar 27, 2019

We bid on 4 places in 8 months before we lucked out, getting a 2 bedroom, 2 bath. Our realtor told us that 3/2 was the most competitive so we didn't even bother. We had our agent and a family member in the area look at the house. We did not see it before we bought. That said, we learned to read every chart, line item and every word of the disclosures very, very carefully and to research the property with care. Good luck.

Mar 27, 2019

The Bay Area is pretty nuts but California housing is starting to slow down so you may have more luck over the next few months. The problem is a lack of inventory of homes for sale here.

Mar 27, 2019

Bought a house last summer after searching for 6 months solid. Bid on 8 homes and the 9th was the one that was accepted. There were different reasons why our bids weren't accepted on the others--some bid higher, of course, but also some buyers came with all cash.

Don't get discouraged. You seem to have a decent budget. Extra living space/guest rooms in those areas can drive up the price, as does a view, but you should be able to find something.

Mar 27, 2019

I live in El Cerrito. We moved here 3 years ago, and this was the seventh house we bid on. I think you might need to just keep trying. All it takes is one! Good luck.

Mar 28, 2019

You may like your realtor, but I question whether s/he is giving you good advice. Your budget seems low to me. There are many websites to check to see what homes sell for. Take advantage of that info. You do not say how much those four homes sold for. I assume you are aware that most homes sell over asking, sometimes far over. Some buyers try to convince homeowners to sell to them by writing a letter about how much they like the house and how it is perfect for their family. You may want to get a summer rental in the area to really get familiar with the market. About number of offers: https://www.trulia.com/voices/Home_Buying/On_average_how_many_offers_wi…; How to make your offer stand out: https://www.sfchronicle.com/business/networth/article/8-ways-home-buyer…

Mar 28, 2019

Although I can't speak to your question regarding out-of-state buyers, my husband I have recently purchased a home in El Cerrito and were very lucky in having our first offer accepted. This was similar to what you describe you're looking for - though not in the hills. I think what made us so successful so quickly was our realtor (Sheri Madden). The areas you're looking in are her specialty and she is very familiar with the market, knows many other realtors that represent sellers and was able to efficiently identify a house we liked, what we should bid for it and sell our offer to the seller's agent. I'm assuming you've also been working with a local realtor but if not I think this is really important. In our case, we made only one offer and it was accepted, so at least from one example we did not need to bid on lots of homes. Good luck!

Mar 28, 2019

No real advice, only empathy. We're also planning to move this summer and have made two offers, in both cases ending up as second choice. In one case we lost out because we hadn't yet seen the house and didn't waive the three-day inspection contingency (in retrospect, our loss); in the other, it was because the other buyer was prepared to go very high in a bidding war and we weren't up for it. So yes, it can be a factor. But price is usually the big one. Ask your agent how much the winning offer was - that info can be helpful.

Mar 28, 2019

OP here--thank you so much for all your insight! I appreciate it very much. Just a few answers to your questions: (1) We have waived all contingencies on our offers; (2) For three out of our four offers, we've lost out by $50K (painful, I know!), but majority of which were all-cash; (3) and we're only looking at Berkeley houses that are somewhat run-down--all our offers have been at East Richmond Heights and El Cerrito. I appreciate all your words of encouragement and commiseration--it helps to know that other people have been through this before and have come out with a house. Please keep the advice/sympathy coming, and thanks again!

Apr 3, 2019

From previous experience in the past year and having two people I’m close to move to the same areas, your budget is quite low. Crazy, I know. For the same area and set up (we wanted 4bd/3bath) but settled on 3 bed, 1.5 bath), it was close to $1.9. Then, taxes, don’t forget. For the people I know moving here, it’s a little higher for a little more space. We were rejected 18 times with our $1.5 million budget. I love our house and the location has little view but we do have some headaches and paying the taxes we pay have made us wonder if this is worth it. I will tell you, as anti ‘burbs as we are, we might be heading inland a little bit and rent out our place. Just a heads up. It can be a nightmare (we are living on two physician salaries).

Apr 23, 2019

We are just in the early stages of searching,So I can't answer your main question about number of bids, but to your implied question about whether your budget is reasonable: $1.2M seems really low to me for a 3/2. I want to make sure your realtor has explained to you that houses are often going for at least 10-20% over list price (in the area of Oakland I have been watching, in the last 6 months it has ranged from 16-30%). If you are bidding 1.2M on houses priced above $950k, you are likely under-bidding, and that may be true even at $900k houses. SF wealth is just pouring into Berkeley and surrounding areas right now.

My realtor says all-cash isn't strictly necessary, that pre-approval (not simply pre-qualification) by a local lender is competitive with all-cash. She says to go with a local lender, not a national bank (or even local-to-elsewhere. Most houses are closing in 21 days, which the local lenders can do but the nationals can't. Also, local lenders work with a stable of appraisers who they trust, making it more likely the sale won't fall through. Local agents recognize which lenders are most "reliable" and able to make it through closing, and will advise their clients to go with those offers over, say someone getting money from Wells Fargo. Now, Berkeley may be different and privilege all-cash offers more than the areas of Oakland we've been considering, but if all-cash isn't possible, you should strive to be as competitive as possible within the loan structure.

Apr 24, 2019

Oh, one more thing. If you want to research how far above asking homes have been going, you can look at Redfin.com and navigate to the Property History section. That will tell you list price and sale price, whether there was a price change, how long homes were on the market and in contract, etc.

Apr 24, 2019
Housing Gap Between Moves
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May 3, 2018

We just sold our house (yay!) but can't move in to our new house for about a month after we leave our current house, as it's still under construction (boo!). Our move-out date is not negotiable, as the buyers are expecting a baby very soon, so they understandably want to get in and get situated. Seeking advice from those who have been in similar situations after selling a house, specifically: (1) Any recommendations for furnished short-term housing for two adults, a kid, and a dog? (2) Any recommendations for places to store our own furniture between move-out and move-in? (3) What do we do about our mailing address in the interim? (Not as pressing, but surprisingly stress-inducing!) (4) Other tips for staying sane throughout the process?

Thanks!

May 3, 2018

We went through this and it was just as terrible as it sounds. We used a Pod for our stuff but were really unhappy with them. We couldn't fit all of our stuff into the Pod size that they recommended so we ended up paying top dollar at the last minute to find someone else to help us move the rest of the stuff. They couldn't put the Pod in our driveway like we had arranged. They are really particular about where the things are parked. So they took it to their lot and then lost it. We went days with them having no idea where almost all of our possessions were. I was not happy! They wouldn't bring the Pod back to our house so we had to pay another mover to go to the lot where the Pod was stored, move everything from the Pod to their truck, bring it our house, and then unload it again. Never again. I would contact a real moving company and see what they can do for you with the storage. By the time all was said and done we probably spent about $6,000 having our stuff moved from El Cerrito to Kensington.

For your mailing address, I'd use the address of your new house. I'd make putting some kind of mailbox in a very high priority. Much better to only forward your mail once.

For housing, we stayed with my mom for 10 days and then at a hotel for a couple of weeks. Embassy Suites in Emeryville allows dogs on one floor and the rooms have small kitchens. If you talk to them, at least one of the rooms on the dog floor has an oven in addition to the other kitchen stuff that is in all of the rooms. We were able to cook meals there.

As far as staying sane, good luck. I'd talk to your spouse and child about the fact that this is going to be a challenging time and you all need to give each other a lot of slack. The worst part will probably be getting out of your current house and settled in the hotel. Then you won't be able to do too much so it won't be as stressful. Then the stress starts up again when it's time to move into the new house. We viewed our time in the hotel as an adventure and used the pool a lot and went to the movies often. It was fun!

May 9, 2018

We were in a similar situation when we last moved. There were two adults, a baby, a dog and cat. Here's what we did: 1. We had two short term rentals through airbnb; 2. We moved with uhaul's U-boxes (many moving companies have these--they are variations on pods) that we paid to store and then we arranged for their delivery; 3. We picked up our mail at our new home (because we were staying nearby) but you can place a hold on your mail through USPS or change your address to a P.O. box.

May 9, 2018

I would try airbnb, vrbo, or sabbatical homes for the short-term furnished housing.

May 9, 2018

Can't speak for 1 (Airbnb? Craigslist?) but the rest is fairly easy. For 2 use a pod (or several pods) to pack everything you won't need that month, have it shipped to the driveway (or street) of your new home and unpack it once the place is ready. Much more streamlined and cost effective than moving in and out of storage. Some company will also store. I suggest shopping around (pods, upack, etc) as prices can vary dramatically. For three transfer your mail to the new address on the USPS website then immediately either hold it for pick up at the end of the month or have it temporarily delivered to a friend's house for a month or a PO box that you can rent. Sans PO box the cost of these two steps will be precisely $2. As for 4, I'd recommend taking with you to the Airbnb all the little luxuries that make your home a refuge (for me it's probably our comforter and espresso machine; figure out what would make your day/night good whilst living out of a suitcase). Good luck!

May 9, 2018

Suggest the use of a POD or similar movable storage unit during the gap. Move (or have movers move) everything into the POD at the sold house, stage it at your new house (if possible), and unpack when construction is done. They can also store the POD for you if there isn't room on your new property. My mom had several months between selling and the new place being ready and she stored pretty much everything except clothes and dishes in the unit.

May 9, 2018

1)    Check VRBO or AirBnB
or do a search for "dog friendly travel california" -- lots of resources like:
https://www.bringfido.com/destination/state/california/
https://dogtrekker.com/Destinations

2)   About 6 years ago, we had a good experience with Payless Storage in Richmond: good prices, friendly, clean, secure. If you're in the East Bay:
http://www.paylessstorage-marin.com/

3) Get a PO Box ASAP! Or one of those private mailboxes if your PO has nothing good available. Otherwise, there's a good chance some of your mail won't make it. Also, leave a big stamped envelope at the old house for the new owners to forward mail on to you.

4) The owner of Bellam Self-Storage (named Andre) in San Rafael wrote a practical good book about packing and moving.   You can buy it for around $10 or maybe get it from your library. (BTW, Bellam Self-Storage is a GREAT facility--sparkling clean, great box options and prices, super secure and great service, but it's located in Marin County, not the East Bay.)

Bellam Self-Storage
24 Bellam Blvd
San Rafael, CA 94901
(415) 454-1985

May 9, 2018

Congratulations on selling your house! And even better that you have a new home to move to (eventually).

Last summer we (two adults, two kids, one frog that did not survive the moves) moved out of our SF home to prep it for sale. At the same time, we were looking for a house to buy in Berkeley. Because it was unknown how long this would take, we put our stuff in storage (Berkeley Self-storage on San Pablo). We couch surfed with friends and family for a few weeks, but then had a series of sublets -- one from a friend, and one found on Craigslist. It was extremely stressful to not know where we would be ending up and not having a permanent home. So you're two steps ahead in that you have a place to go to... eventually!

What made it bearable was having some really great close friends and family nearby who were willing to put up with us. We used my uncle's address to forward mail to and stored some stuff at friend's houses. And I spent many hours on my friend's couch complaining about how in limbo we were. So I guess I would suggest to rely on a few close friends, be flexible, and look for sublets on BPN or CL. If you can swing it, plan a trip away -- since you are in limbo anyway, you may as well be somewhere nice! Don't forget a sense of humor!

I realize this is not super specific advice -- if you have more questions, send me a message. And good luck!

-Kate

May 10, 2018

Can't speak for 1 (Airbnb? Craigslist?) but the rest is fairly easy. For 2 use a pod (or several pods) to pack everything you won't need that month, have it shipped to the driveway (or street) of your new home and unpack it once the place is ready. Much more streamlined and cost effective than moving in and out of storage. Some companies will also store. I suggest shopping around (pods, upack, etc) as prices can vary dramatically. For 3 transfer your mail to the new address on the USPS website then immediately either hold it for pick up at the end of the month or have it temporarily delivered to a friend's house for a month or a PO box that you can rent. Sans PO box the cost of these two steps will be precisely $2. As for 4, I'd recommend taking with you to the Airbnb all the little luxuries that make your home a refuge (for me it's probably our comforter and espresso machine; figure out what would make your day/night good whilst living out of a suitcase). Good luck!

May 13, 2018
Looking to buy a home but worried about buying at our max
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Feb 23, 2018

We're looking to move to the suburbs and purchase our first home, and like many, it's for a neighborhood with good schools and a sense of stability. We're looking primarily in Marin (San Anselmo and Fairfax), and the purchase price would most likely be near the top of our limit. With the new tax plan affecting mortgage deductions/property taxes in mind, I'm looking for opinions and thoughts on buying right now. We plan to stay in the home for at least 10 years or so, but I'm also afraid of a crushing mortgage if we are indeed at the top of the market. (Is it the top of the market? I realize it's hard to know for sure right now). If we don't buy a home by the summer, we'd still move and rent in Marin before the next school year. I feel this isn't ideal as the rent would be much more than the rent-controlled apartment we are in now, but it would also be less than private school tuition for 2 children. I'm feeling a bit paralyzed and would love some insight.

Feb 23, 2018

Darn it! I just typed a long response and then got an error message. The gust: You are almost guaranteed to lose lots of money if you buy now, as we are either at the top of the market or within 95% of it. The crash is almost certain to come within the next 5ish years, so even if you stay for 10 it won’t have returned to these heights. I’m in a similar situation and would love to move but I’m waiting it out and/or plan to move into another rental in the meantime. Hope this helps!

Feb 28, 2018

We bought in Mill Valley two years ago at our absolute max because we were in a similar situation - two kids in private school in SF, living in a super cheap rent-controlled flat. The only difference is ours were entering middle and high school at the time. After bidding on six houses, we had to bite the bullet and pay an insane amount for our house. Crazily, it's gone up in value since then, but that doesn't take away the fact that the mortgage and property taxes are very high for us (about $5k a month before deductions) and the house is old, so we've had to sink more money into it. The monthly nut is a lot of pressure, but still less than our rent and private school fees in SF, which worked out to over $6k a month. Private school fees go up about 5% a year, so it just kept getting more expensive. Overall, we're very glad we did it. The schools in Mill Valley are excellent; we were pleasantly surprised after so long in private school. However, since property/parcel taxes to support the schools are high, we don't envision staying in Marin after they're both done with high school. If you're planning to stay 10+ years, I would say it's worth it to buy. I think it would be a good idea to rent for a year in the Marin town you want to live in. That would give you some time to get your kids settled into school and then find a house. Inventory is low and most houses get multiple bids, so it took us a year to get a house! Good luck - I grew up in Fairfax and it's a lovely town.

Feb 28, 2018

I don't know whether you should buy or not, but I do know that no one knows or can know if we are at the top of the market, and you shouldn't listen to anyone who says they know one way or the other. The only question that matters is, can you afford the house, taking into account your income and other expenses. When you say "crushing mortgage" it makes me think maybe you wouldn't be able to afford the house, or that there's a high degree of risk that you might end up in a situation where you can't afford the house (job instability is one of the greatest risks). It's hard not to risk everything and stretch beyond your limits in the crazy Bay Area real estate market, but it is unwise. Maybe not the answer you're looking for, but it's tough out there in this very expensive place to live.

Feb 28, 2018

A few points to consider:

How secure is your income? Can you access savings if you need to? A house is a great investment, but you don't want to wind up in bankruptcy. Give yourself a little cushion.

If you plan to stay in your house 10+ years, I think a house in Marin is probably a safe bet. That probably goes for almost any desirable neighborhood in the Bay Area. Yes, the market may tank, but historically the Bay Area rebounds. If the schools are good (and the public schools here have a great reputation), IMHO it's a relatively safe bet. But of course there are no guarantees in this world.

Rents in Marin have skyrocketed, and most places don't have rent control, so that's another argument for buying. The fires in Sonoma County have also increased housing demand, mostly for rentals.

Things to consider in purchasing: How much will property taxes add to your expenses, what about utilities, upkeep and mortgage insurance (if you have to have it.) Plus the cost of living: we shop mostly at Trader Joe's and Grocery Outlet because food costs are so high here, and the farmer's market isn't cheap either. Fairfax and San Anselmo are pricey and the major corridors are slow and traffic clogged during commute hours, so do some driving during the busiest traffic times before you buy. Traffic here generally has gotten quite dense in the last few years, although another lane on the Richmond/San Rafael bridge is due to open soon, which will help. But there's basically no public transit to the East Bay, so factor that in if work/school/friendships mean you need to be in the East Bay a lot.

There are things for kids to do in Marin, but overall it's more of a suburban community than the East Bay, which is generally more urban, hip, and educated. Here kids join the swimming teams (good pools) and camp with the Boy Scouts. It's more provincial overall, and there are a lot of long-term residents, plus generally an older demographic. However, there's been an influx of parents with young kids in the past 5 years, and I expect the community will change. There are many pockets of long-time residents who offer a sense of community.

And while a house is nice, if you can't afford one, look at a condo/townhouse. Personally, I would look at San Rafael/Terra Linda or Novato, where we've lived and had good experiences and made friends; a few people have said that San Anselmo and Fairfax are kind of clique-y and cold (but that's just a few random opinions and not gospel, you need to feel it out for yourself). The schools don't have the elevated reputation of the Fairfax/San Anselmo area, but they are very good and parents are extremely involved. Marin families support school extras, like orchestra.

I wish you good luck in finding a great home!

Feb 28, 2018

No one knows what the future holds. No one knows if prices will be going up or down. Buying a home is a leap of faith. I can say that prices are usually a little lower in winter. So move to the community you want to be in and try to buy after the school year starts. I know it is more of a hassle to move during the school year, but you might be able to save some money.

Mar 1, 2018

If you are happy in your rent controlled apartment, why not try to get your kids into a charter school or a catholic school, instead of a private school, if the public school doesn't pass muster? San Anselmo is pretty expensive, maybe look in Corde Madera or San Rafael? I'd assume we are at the top of the market or close to it but that's what I thought four years ago!

Mar 5, 2018

We bit the bullet and bought last summer at a price point that is several hundred thousands higher than what we were comfortable paying. We started our house search at $850k and didn't find anything and saw prices skyrocket each season. We decided we needed to stretch our budget, so we went up to $1 mil. after a year of looking and not finding anything in our price range. The problem was the $850k houses we didn't like had become $1 mil. We spoke with a financial planner and decided to make certain sacrifices and went up to $1.25 mil. The price tag was so hefty that I couldn't believe we were doing this. I called the financial advisor and asked her to triple confirm that we could afford this because I couldn't believe that we could. We did it. We bought at this price tag and what the financial planner or anyone else failed to mention/anticipate is how freaking expensive the upkeep is and how much bigger the PGE bill is because the house is old and leaks from top to bottom and all the way around. (100 year old windows, loose floor boards, not whole lot of insulation, odd shaped/sized doors and windows.) Our monthly housing cost doubled as a result. We are now on a pretty tight budget and no longer shop at whole foods or eat out regularly. I used to buy everything organic. Not anymore. We pack our lunches and stop buying clothes and things we don't need for ourselves. We can't go on a nice vacation this year. Another thing we overlooked is how expensive moving is. We are furnishing the new house with free or low cost Craiglist finds. We have resigned to the fact that for the next year or 2, we'll be in a deep financial hole, but we hope to crawl out of this hole and in 5 - 10 years, things will begin to stabilize. Of course, by then, there will inevitabily be another big house projects - new roof, new plumbing and god knows what else. We have no money left if something major goes wrong with the house now, so we're hoping and praying that the old roof holds for a couple of years.

I share this because we feel that we bought at the height, as we don't see prices jumping up as aggressively as when we were looking to buy but we feel stable in our little bungalow. We have entered the period of austerity and we don't buy new things much anymore but at least no one can increase rent on us. (Our friends' landlord just increased their rent by 30%.)

On the flip side, my spouse and I feel a tremendous pressure to hold onto our jobs now more than ever, and we aren't 100% happy with our jobs but we're afraid to make any changes.

Mar 13, 2018

I am going to add a spin on this. Again, this is related to OUR situation but my intention is to help to provide as much information as possible so you can make your decision .

We bought a home in Park Slope Brooklyn in 2010, as prices were climbing. I won’t go into cost per square foot, HOA fees (for what?), the upkeep and unforeseen expenses. At the time, we were in medical residency and had a newborn. We had financial help from my family at the time, as our residency salaries would never have covered part of the mortgage. We also had to pay our family back the money (no interest). Without any repairs or upgrades to a very old and cold 2 bedroom (that sold as a 3 bedroom), we paid $1.35 million, which seemed like a bargain. It wasn’t. It was a pure money pit (even without upgrades). We couldn’t wait to move out, rent it out and get on with our lives. We still own and rent it out. We won’t make money it for another seven years, minimum. From 2014-2016, we moved to NOLA for fellowships. We bought another home. Far less expensive, the same money pit situation (adding two more kids to our family and private schools due to not so great public schools). Our heads were never above water. At the end of 2016, we moved to the area and are renting. We downsized, simplified our life, our wants and we couldn’t be happier. We are two doctors paying off old bills. Our salaries are great but when you are paying off old debt, your pot of money is always small. No one knows what the market is going to do; I can tell you that my sister is a realtor in the area and even though inventory is low, many foreign investors who were driving up the market have left or are on their way out.

I believe we made a mistake out of thinking we needed to own. Owning a home can be a wonderful achievement, but it’s not necessary. We have saved money by renting. Does it feel bad to throw money away? Yes but we had to change our view on it. Way more money in our pocket and we can pay off old debt and invest the rest. Generally real estate is a great investment. Consider duration, taxes, really think about the expenses that are involved and if you can sleep at night with the monetary price you will pay. For us, we sleep at night knowing we are paying off old debt and saving money. Good luck. This is not an easy decision.

Mar 21, 2018
Feeling sad after moving / Buyer's Remorse
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Jan 25, 2018

We were in the house buying market for over 5 years. Stars were somehow aligned and our offer was accepted, although our offer was not the highest offer. We stretched a bit more than we were planning. [People kept telling us this is how you buy a house around here.] We didn't love the house but felt like this was the best we could do. We moved into our new house about 3 months ago.

Kids seem to be adjusting pretty well. They were very upset at first but now point out things that they like about the new house.

We, the parents, are not doing very well. We are very sad and stressed. We have such a huge buyer's remorse. This is the Bay Area. A house with a price tag of over 1 mil doesn't get you a luxury home. People tell us that what we bought is a good first home. We just miss our old rental very much. The neighborhood was better (more walkable, more residential, more convenient and slightly easier commute). The house was more updated (our old place had new double pane windows and doors, fully insulated, 2 bathrooms), bigger (150 sq ft bigger than our new place.), and brighter (more windows and lights). We don't have a decorator's eye and feel overwhelmed by every decision at the new place (which lamp, what lamp, what curtain, rug?). We hired an interior designer who ended up charging us $2000 but we don't have much to show for it after that. She spent hours and hours shopping for items we didn't like and we ended up telling her to stop shopping.

Our new house has 100 year old windows with holes and gaps that let in cold air. It's an old house and it's dark. No light in living room and very little overhead lights. Like all other old houses in the Bay Area, things don't work quite the way they're supposed to. We moved in and found leaking pipes, rat droppings, sinking and rotting fence. [Yes, we had the disclosure packet and looked at the house many times beforehand but we didn't know about the pipe leaking and didn't see rat droppings and the fence deteriorated really fast after we moved in.] Every other floor board creaks. The house is dark. We have little privacy from neighbors, which we took for granted at our old place.

My husband and I have a history of clinical depression, so we're very watchful of our mood, because we don't want to relapse.

Anyone else had a big case of buyer's remorse and then recovered? Any words of wisdom to help us get through this phase. We feel so unstable.

Water is leaking from neighbors' yard (we suspect irrigation pipe issue.) We haven't met them in person and now I have to go and tell them to fix the pipes and split the fence cost.

Bills are piling up. Our payment doubled after house purchase. We still have boxes to unpack but don't have furniture to unpack the stuff into. While we were out of town to visit the in-laws, somehow some animal pooped in our yard and then the gardener mowed over the poop, so we have poopy yard w/ gnats flying over it. We both work full-time and we are completely overwhelmed. We know we should try to tackle this little by little, every weekend. But, our young kids want to play and spend time with us and we want to spend time with them instead of trying to clean out the garage or unpack. Our jobs are so demanding that we are not in a position to take a full week off to focus on unpacking and getting settled in.

Jan 25, 2018

So sorry to hear about what you are feeling. Maybe do some reading on acceptance? Can friends help unpack? Really try to get to know the neighbors. Discover what’s great about the neighborhood. Have friends for dinner and host parties with your friends and their kids I love the memories we created here of Halloween parties thanksgiving dinner birthday parties baby showers etc doesn’t have to be fancy - just welcoming these were all potlucks

When we bought our house in Montclair, it needed a ton of updating and repairs. This was five years ago, so our 2150 sq ft House was 600,000 so we didn’t have the burden you do. Since we were coming from a tiny apartment, we didn’t see how dated everything looked. We just saw home. Over five years we renovated extensively (increased income enabled us to do so) and got to know the area. We found stairs that lead up from the village to snake rd that we use to walk to our house. We became close with neighbors in seven houses immediately around us. One neighbor hosts annual neighborhood get togethers and another baby sits. We love it hear so much. This is for the long haul. Hope you find happiness.

Jan 31, 2018

I had similar feelings when we bought our house in 2015. We moved from an apartment in a very happening part of San Francisco to a very small single family home in the East Bay. I spent the entire first year at the new house wondering if we'd made a huge mistake, if we could've put a smaller bid and still won, if we should've waited and bought a larger house, etc. Eventually I calmed down and focused on making improvements in our new home. We replaced the windows, got some new furniture, new closets, got rid of unnecessary items. Fast forward to 2018 I now love my cute little house and have no desire to ever move anywhere else! :)

It sounds like the lack of light is really bothering you. Take a look at your house and try to figure out what is making it dark and if there's way to brighten it up. Light walls + light colored furniture and window shades will make the space look much brighter, airier and more spacious. Hang mirrors across from the windows to reflect light back into the room.

Good luck! It will get better, just give it time (and some home improvement effort)

Jan 31, 2018

Hi! For unpacking I recommend someone from taskrabbit. It’s affordable.

Jan 31, 2018

It's easy to get overwhelmed in moving especially into the unknown. I had this with the last two (2) homes we moved into and felt overwhelmed with trying to make the house a home. Now that you have the house, you can either put it back on the market and look for something else you might like better, OR live in your house and try to make it a home. Yes, I can see you loved your old rental home, but you can also over time make this new house better for your family. It take patience and time.

As for the whole decorating vibe, do you have close friends and like the way they decorate? Try taking it one room at a time, not all at once. Look at various magazines to get ideas. In the overhead lights, you can go LED which will brighten the rooms with low lighting. Windows can be fixed until you can get to a point to remove and install new windows.

As for the water leaking in your yard, start with bringing to the attention of your neighbor and tackle the fence another time. Try not to overwhelm new people so you all can establish a working relationship.

Make a list of furniture you need to purchase. For example, bookcases, coffee table, side tables, etc. You will be surprised how you can easily find these items if not new, through craigslist, garage sales, etc. I found several pieces of expensive furniture for little cost in some of my Facebook garage sales groups.

Be patience with yourselves. Make unpacking a game for you and the kids. Like if you unpack 6 boxes, you all get pizza and a movie. Make it fun!

Last, if you want and the administrator will allow it, respond back to this and I would be glad to help you at no cost. Would love to help if I can.

Jan 31, 2018

I'm sorry you are sad about your house. It sounds like a change from what you're used to. I live in a 100 year old house but I love old houses a lot more than new houses, so it was my choice. Old houses have a lot more personality. But I understand there are disadvantages.  I have some hints for you.

First thing, you need to get some lamps. If your house is too dark it's going to be depressing. In the olden days when your house was built, people used a lot of table lamps and floor lamps, so the living room and bedrooms in old houses might not have any light fixtures, or only one fixture in the middle of the ceiling. You need a floor lamp with 2 or 3 bulbs and a nice shade that diffuse the light and that will cheer your living room up right away. If you have the cash, go look at Sue Johnson Lamps on Solano Av. - they have beautiful lamps that go perfectly in 100 year old houses. Or if you hate shopping or don't have time, go on potterybarn.com and pick out a few lamps that you like.  I've bought rugs and tables too on PB and they hold up well and are not super expensive.

Do you like flowers and plants? A quick way for me to cheer up is to go out and buy a potted orchid (you could also order one online from https://www.ftd.com/ - I've done that too) It will look great for a couple of months with little effort from you, and then you just toss it and get another one.

Next thing is: research what kind of house you have so you can start to appreciate it more. Do you have a bungalow? a Victorian? Arts & Crafts? These are all highly prized so maybe that will help you feel better about your house! A lot of cities like Berkeley, Oakland, and Alameda have architectural historical societies where you find out about your neighborhood's history and go on tours of other peoples' houses which is fun, and you'll learn more about your house.

In terms of upkeep, probably everybody who owns a house has a running list of things large and small that need to be fixed or replaced. I keep mine on a google sheet that my husband and I share. I give each item a priority of 1, 2 or 3 and then just look at it once in a while. Occasionally there is something urgent, like your leak, but most to-do items can sit there for a while and you don't have to think about them if they are on the list. Honestly I don't think old houses have that many more issues than new houses. Even new houses get rats, and you know if your house has been standing for 100 years it is a solid house. It's probably just the little things that all homeowners have to deal with.

Rattly windows - my house has this. It's OK. If you're getting cold, invest in heavy drapes you can close on the cold days to keep warmer. But we are lucky to have mild weather and I don't really think too much about sealing them all up.

I hope you start to love your house more as time goes by. When I first moved into my house 20 years ago it didn't feel it would really be my house until I had touched every square inch of walls, floors, doors and windows and tamed it into being what I wanted my house to be. It takes a while!

Jan 31, 2018

I fell ya. We bought last summer after losing a few bids on houses in better areas. We settled on a town that increased my husband's commute and isn't "cool" so prices are more reasonable BUT we still doubled our mortgage from our previous, smaller home. In our case, we got a bigger house in a better neighborhood with lots of other positives over our old house but we still felt awful about the move for about a year. We had buyer's remorse, regret, fear, etc. even though we wouldn't want to go back to our old house. So my point is- I think it's a normal experience and you will get over it, especially after some time passes and you realize your home's probable increase in value. That will feel good! It's going to take some time to adjust but you'll learn to love your new house in ways you can't imagine now. If not, two years will go by quickly and you can then sell the house and keep your capital gains if you still aren't in love. It's all going to work out! =) I hope you two feel better soon.

Feb 1, 2018

You have listed a lot of challenges but I'll respond to a couple. I recently moved out of the Bay Area. I bought a bigger house but quickly learned the space & storage isn't as good. So, it's hard to put things away. I had a lot of plans for things to improved at my current house. I've learned you have to lower your expectations a bunch. Originally you probably think you want to tackle 15 things in 2 years but the reality is you may only get 3 projects done in 2 years. So, it helps to lower expecations. The other thing I figured out is it easily took us 2.5 years to get our house in order (fully unpack & put stuff up in correct spots). A friend shared that it took her 2 years as well after her move. My husband and I work and commute so we only have little time in the evenings (I have no energy) and then time on the weekends. So, again, I think lowering your expectations might be helpful. My kids struggled with what seemed like us always unpacking and organizing. I recommend getting rid of stuff as you unpack. We felt like we shed alot of stuff before we moved but we got rid of a ton more while unpacking. That always helps. I'd also say if you are unpacking over a weekend just spend a few focused hours (3-4 hours, 1/2 a day) and then quit & hang out w/ the kids. When you do work on house org try working w/ your spouse at the same time to get maximum benefit. Often my Husband and I would work in garage while kids were riding bikes nearby.

Additionally, I'd say my room was organized pretty quickly. The living area was kind of a mess for quite a while (1 yr or so). So, in hindsight I'd say give a couple rooms some priority early on so you have some comfortable places to hang out (kitchen, bedrooms, living room) and then tackle the others over time.

I think owning a home vs renting in the past can also bring about new challenges. You may not be there yet but in your rental you may have not liked your bathroom fixtures but you probably didn't think of changing them out. Once you own a house I feel like it's easy to look at tons of things that could be changed & improved. Over time you'll get a sense for what small and big things should be done and then let the others go for the future. Hang in there.

Feb 2, 2018

For decorating, I suggest Pinterest. That site is great for finding styles that suit you and cataloging what you like.

For leaky, noisy windows, get weather stripping. It is cheap and easy and makes a world of difference.

And for sadness, I suggest a practice of gratitude. For starters, be happy that your children are thriving. That is the most important part!

Feb 7, 2018

I'm sorry. Any chance you could sell it or rent it and move back to your old neighborhood? It sounds like you both have demanding jobs and your new home requires a lot of additional work. Not everyone needs to be homeowners. You should do what makes you happiest. And it sounds like you enjoyed being renters and living in your old place. Less yard work and you can spend more free time with your kids. Maybe you just needed to own a house to find that out.

Feb 7, 2018

Hello — Sorry to hear how overwhelmed and frustrated you feel. If you’re able to ask the BPN administrator for my email, I’m happy to figure out how to help you organize and create a basic plan of action. I’m a strategic planner by profession but right now a stay-at-home mom and have some time to help out if you are within easy driving distance from Berkeley. I’ve done a lot of moves in my adult life, so I think I might be helpful to you. You’ll dig out from under eventually! Good luck!

Feb 16, 2018

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know it's a bad, stressful feeling because I had VERY strong feelings of buyer's remorse after moving from a rental in San Francisco to a single family home in Berkeley last September. We made the decision to move based on logic rather than our gut feeling (North Berkeley is a nice neighborhood, we could send our kids to public school here when the time comes, owning vs renting is always the right choice for the long-term, the house felt like a reasonable etc - but we certainly weren't in love with the house we bought or totally confident that living in Berkeley was the right move). Like you, we bought a home over 1m that still needs plenty of TLC. So once we moved and had to deal with 1) a commute, 2) unending home projects, and 3) being far away from our social network, I was feeling like as made a HUGE mistake. It's been almost six months now and I'll tell you that I feel much better. I still miss SF and I still don't think this is our "forever home" - we still don't totally feel like we fit in around Berkeley. But, I've started to appreciate the good things about our situation (and there are many - great neighborhood, more space for our family, not having having to spend crazy insane amounts of money on rent + nanny since now we have a daycare) while also getting over the feeling that the house is permanent - it isn't. Can you try to focus on the good things (it feels great to pay down your mortgage instead of throwing away money on rent, right?, being a homeowner in the Bay Area is a big deal and accomplishment, etc) and then plan to re-evaluate the situation in six months to year? As opposed to the constant evaluation of "is this is the right decision? have we made a mistake" etc. I realize it's easier said than done. Also, a last thought is to spend a little time/$$ to fix up the house if you can. Just getting the architect drawing for our bathroom remodels was enough to make me feel positive and excited about the house. Good luck to you! I'm sure that you'll either 1) come to like your situation after more time passes or 2) find a way to change it back to something that you like.

Feb 18, 2018
Are we crazy to buy in at the peak of the housing market?
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Feb 9, 2017

Looking for stories and perspectives from those who *do not* have a huge nest egg, lucrative jobs, etc. but chose to buy a home in this crazy real estate market. We are long-time renters, jobs in the social services and educational sectors who had largely given up hope of buying our own home. However, we have recently come into some money (not a ton, but enough to potentially do something) and we can't help but think that this is the chance we have been waiting for to finally own a home in the area we have lived for so long.

I am looking for some perspective on the rationality of that idea, stories from those who did the same thing, either in this market, or during previous spikes. What have you given up, what have you gained? Was the buy-in worth it? There are no huge raises in our future, but we plan to stay here until our children are grown at least and feel a strong commitment to the community. We do not have a "great deal" on rent, and our home is definitely on the smaller side, so we would like to "move up." Just not sure now is the time. But if not now, when? This market shows no signs of relenting....

Feb 9, 2017

I was a basically happy renter for many years and came into just enough money to buy a small house a few years ago when the market was low. At first the extra expenses and the extra work made me think it wasn't worth it, but now after six years I really appreciate the stability and knowledge that I never have to move or deal with a landlord again. It is just an overall better feeling of security that makes it worth it.

Feb 15, 2017

No current experience, but a historical observation. I bought my first house in 1985 as a single man. I was sure I was stupid buying a house at the height of the market at the time. 175K for a small 3-BR/1-BA in 1000 Oaks? Ridiculous. I wish I could have been as "dumb" in all my investments. If you can afford it now, do it. I don't think anyone knows what Trump and the GOP control of Congress is going to do, but I have to believe that they are not stupid enough to make home ownership unattainable.

Feb 15, 2017

We bought about 1 year ago with the same concerns, the market has slowed a little but is still going up. Unless you are lucky and buy while prices are low in a place that becomes wildly popular, lots of houses don't really appreciate in selling price beyond inflation over time (http://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiehopkins/2014/09/25/why-housing-is-a-ba…). However, the sense of home, and the reduction in monthly costs once you own the home if you stay a long time, could be valuable. If you are staying around here for a long haul, to me it makes sense to lock in a mortgage you can handle and plan for mildly yearly increases in property tax and insurance, assuming you've got the down payment needed to secure a home here. I suppose that Trump's policies that will likely make the mortgage interest rate tax deduction moot are also food for thought, and that could cost home prices to take a small dive. Best of luck! I'll be interested to see what others with more experience think about it.

Feb 15, 2017

We bought in July 2016, so it's still hard to tell if it was worth it, but the pricing should be somewhat similar to what's out there now. We also didn't have a great deal on rent and we have a baby so we wanted a yard. These were our main motivations for buying. It seems like everyone I talked to said that the bay area housing market will boom and bust, but if you are in it for the long haul you'll break even or come out ahead. We bought a fixer-upper, which has been painful, but we think will be worth it in the end and it definitely helped with the price. It is also a duplex, so we're hoping that when the lower unit is fixed up that we can attract a nice tenant and that rent will help pay our mortgage. I would say that I'm glad that we bought a house, despite the pain of fixing it up and the possibility that the market will downturn. Hopefully i'll still be saying that in 20 to 30 years! I don't think we've given up anything and we've gained the hope that after the tenant, the mortgage will be less than our rent was, plus a nice house with what will be a nice yard after we fix it up. Good luck! If you buy a fixer-upper, I'd be happy to give you tips!

Feb 15, 2017

We are in a similar situation! I would buy if you know you'll stay in the house for 10+ years. Buying at top of market isn't ideal but if you're in for the long haul it's a good (maybe not great or best) investment. I'm not an expert but that's my opinion, interested in others chiming in too!

Feb 15, 2017

Hi! It has been the peak of the market for like 5 years now...ha ha. We bought 3 years ago, & i was really nervous & dragging my feet. I felt if we waited we would get a better deal: I was wrong. So glad we moved then and didn't wait. We bid alot of $ in an area of Berkeley that did not have comparative home sales so we had to take a loan for a bit less than we offered. But we are here for the long haul, also with school age kids. If you were thinking of selling in the next 5 years, hmmm, maybe you could lose value, maybe not. But if u are here for 10+ years, I would do it in a heartbeat. For one thing, your rent money is just flying out the window each month. But with a home, you will get credit for the interest, and each payment builds your equity. Also, as rents get higher, we are getting closer & closer to being equal or less than renting. But don't forget the hefty taxes you will need to pay- we pay $13,000 a year for taxes on top of our mortgage. And also calculate in upkeep costs: if you don't keep fixing stuff, your value will really suffer. For instance, our "good roof" sprung 4 leaks in the storms: $18,000 to replace. As a renter, you don't have to worry about that. Good luck to you- go meet with the best, most honest and experienced realtor you can find & they will help you decide what to do by looking at your whole situation.

Feb 15, 2017

Hi. We bought our home in west Contra Costa County 3 1/2 years ago and have been very happy living here, but it has been more expensive than we anticipated and the expenses have been pretty much constant. What we did not realize until we started looking at houses is that because of the white-hot market, even 'turn-key ready' places are likely to need a lot of work done within the first few years.

Because my husband works in tech and we had very few living expenses before buying, we were able to put down a large down payment (20%) so our mortgage is not much more than the rent we were paying in our pre-boom Oakland apartment (roughly $1600/month, plus 6K/year property tax). But we have probably sunk the better part of $50K in cash into our house since moving in. Our home inspector was frank with us: within the first couple years, he advised us to plan for a new roof, new windows, new HVAC ducting, seismic bolting work, and significant renovations on both bathrooms. Our house also has aluminum wiring (not uncommon in the early 70s), which we would like to have replaced with copper but are waiting on as that will be hugely disruptive in addition to being pricey. I remember the sticker shock when we sat down with the home inspector and he ticked off all the "flaws"; when I asked whether we ought to look elsewhere, our realtor gave us that Look and said "There are 14 other offers for this house. If you don't want it, someone else will take it in a second."

Honestly, my advice would be to talk to a realtor (I can heartily recommend Declan Spring at Red Oak Realty!) and lay out your situation. Depending on how much seed money you have, it might be worth setting some aside to start a home improvement fund, even if it means a smaller down payment.

good luck!

Feb 15, 2017

I can tell you our story, take from it what you will. We bought a house in the DC area at the height of the market in 2005, thanks to a small inheritance that gave us a down payment. It cost $300,000 at the time. I had my doubts, but we figured - let's just "get on the map", things can bounce back quickly if they tank, real estate is usually a good investment. Then in 2006 things started to tank. By 2008 we had multiple foreclosures on our block. We discussed whether to abandon ship (i.e., go into default on the mortgage), and decided against it so as not to ruin our credit. We decided to settle in, and used a HELOC that we had opened in 2005 for some minor remodels and repairs. Meanwhile, our house and the houses nearby that were similar were valued at about $150k, and the foreclosed homes mostly went up on short sales. So a lot of new people moved in having paid half what we did. We remained underwater on our mortgage, kept paying on time and kept our heads down. Several of the short sales were investors who then rented the homes, in most cases the renters were not good neighbors. We persisted. We refinanced our mortgage in 2009 for a lower APR. We had an opportunity to move out here in 2014, and we took it, knowing that the real estate market in CA in general is nuts (we're in San Diego - hubby's job is based out of SFO), and that if we could buy something here, we'd be on the upswing. But we were still underwater on the house back East. We decided to become landlords and rented out our old house, and used everything we had to put a down payment on a house in SD. Our renters started out fine, but after about a year neighbors let us know that things were not going well. Turned out our renters were drug addicts/dealers/jailbirds. I had to go personally to kick them out (laws back East are way more landlord-friendly). We decided it would be best to rid ourselves of that burden, and we saw that housing prices were rebounding slightly in that area. In 2016 we sold it for $240,000. All in we probably had about $370k invested in that house. At the sale, we just about broke even, having just enough to pay closing costs (because buyers don't pay that anymore, although we did), pay off the remaining mortgage, and walk away. We were grateful that it appraised at the sale amount. Here in CA, we're doing much better, and our home has increased in value by more than $200k just since 2014. I don't think things would tank in the Bay Area if there's not a major disaster. But I'm not psychic. I can say that our stock market investments don't do so well either, so I think bottom line, real estate is always the better option. I do believe had we decided to stay in the DC area a few more years, we might have been able to sell our old house at a small profit, I check Zillow now and again and see that prices in the area are rising, albeit slowly, again. So that's my story. Hope it helps. Good luck.

Feb 16, 2017

Sure, why not use your inheritance to stabliize your living situation for the next 10 or so years? If you continue to save for retirement out of your salaries, and can afford a mortgage at the price point of houses you're looking at using your inheritance for the down payment (or however you're arranging it), it seems like a perfectly reasonable use of your money. Nobody can predict the future or if prices will continue to rise or crash, but if you have a mortgage you know what you're paying and aren't at a landlord's whim. One main downside of owning is the CONSTANT home maintenance, which my husband - who is even handy and enjoyed fixing up our rental - has been hating the past 7 years as a homeowner. A project every weekend, and our house wasn't billed as a fixer, it's just a crummy low-quality 1950 house that's not aging well. But it has 4 bedrooms, one-story, and that by itself probably makes it our forever house (ugh), so give that some thought when you are looking. You're not going to want to get in the market again here!

Feb 16, 2017

I look forward to the responses. We are also trying to buy in this crazy market. We come close each time... but buyers are paying IN CASH. Like $1.135 mil. Not many of us can compete with that. It is hard not to get discouraged or take it personally. We have bid on 5 houses in the past 6 months just to give you an idea. Best of luck!

Feb 16, 2017

A co-worker and wife waited for the Bay Area real estate market to slow down (about 20 years ago).

They were looking for a deal in a less crazy market.

When they finally purchased their home, it was a smaller fixer-upper home.

Our friend's opinion was: they should've purchased earlier and passed on homes in their area that would've worked but they were too picky.

Feb 16, 2017

When we decided we were ready to buy, it was what we *thought* was a high market, but it continued to go up. My boss at the time gave me what I think was a relatively good piece of advice-that the interest rate of the loan is ultimately more important than the cost of the home as long as you plan to keep it for at least 10 years. At about the same time, I got a book called "Retire on the house," which was encouraging and we decided to buy a house in the Bushrod neighborhood. At the time, it was just outside the really booming neighborhoods, but now it is the hottest real estate market.

We bought the last house on our block that we could have afforded in 2003 as the prices went up. They did go down for a while a few years later. I think the biggest question is are you sure you can sustain payments and repairs? We are in a similar situation in that we don't have huge incomes and pretty much everything we own is in our house. We save money to do work on it and really don't do much as far as vacationing or spending money, in general. That isn't really a sacrifice for us because we have a small child and old dogs, although I think we would like to travel more eventually.

The first couple of years felt financially stressful and we felt overwhelmed by all the work that our house needed. But honestly, we are still doing some of that work as we save for it that we knew it needed 13 years ago. We have also had a period with some terrible crime and awful tenants in the house next door. We just developed a sort of zen philosophy that we could wait out anything and it has worked. Our block has been stable and wonderful for a while. We are close with many of our neighbors and our kids play in the streets together. Although I think we did get lucky, we do see the same thing on some other nearby blocks, so I know it is not just us.

That being said, I think one of the worst things about it is that most of my friends could afford to move to my block now. It isn't like the block is composed completely with rich people, but the people that aren't rich (or at least have two substantial incomes) bought long before we did, have inherited their homes or are tenants.

I've heard that right now it is easier (relative to how it has been historically) to buy in hills neighborhoods, but harder to buy in the flats and "convenience" and walkable neighborhoods. Some friends that thought they were priced out ended up buying in the hills or in East Oakland, so it may depend on what type of house or neighborhood that you are looking for or willing to consider.

Feb 16, 2017

I am so not a real estate expert, but you did ask if anyone had bought at a spike in the market and I think we did, in the fall of 2006. The market calmed down a bit after that and we knew we bought "high," but then, as you well know, it went crazy again. We've since had another kid and the house is much too small, but even with our equity we can't really afford to upgrade. Luckily our tiny house is on an upscale street in a desirable neighborhood, so things could be worse. I certainly can't advise you, but if you buy a house you like, in a neighborhood you like, even if the market crashes, you still have that nice little house (even if your payments are large). So that's my story...no regrets for buying at a "spike."

Feb 17, 2017

Take a look at this simplified market chart for the past 30 years. http://www.paragon-re.com/3_Recessions_2_Bubbles_and_a_Baby

What I read from this are three things. First, prices in the past 30 years have gone up for 7 years twice before, gaining 100% during each run. So this market might be able to go up for a few more years and it wouldn't be an anomaly. Second, dips during the past 30 years lasted up to four years. Third, during the worst financial crisis since the depression, the market basically recovered in a couple of years from the bottom.

Now two caveats. One, past performance does not guaranty future performance. Two, these charts are for the bay area, each town, neighborhood, home, can and will be unique.

I think as long as the tech industry keeps hiring lots of highly paid people AND interest rates don't go up too far prices will continue to rise.

Feb 23, 2017
Buying a home that's not big enough - future additions?
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Sep 28, 2016

We are in the process of looking for a home to buy. Not surprisingly, it's turning out that homes in our price range and desired locations tend to be <1000sq ft 2 bedroom homes. Ideally we'd like more space and a 3rd bedroom as we plan to add a 2nd child in the future and have out of town family we'd like to comfortably house. One thought is that we buy a smaller 2 bedroom home we can afford and in a couple years plan to add on a couple hundred square feet and a 3rd bedroom. My question is how do we determine if the 2bdrm homes we're looking at would be a good fit for this? How do we determine if an attic could be converted in the future? Or make a subbasement useable? Do we take lot size into consideration? What other considerations are there?

Sep 28, 2016

Lot size is definitely a consideration, as it is much cheaper to add a first floor addition. The flatness of the lot is also important. There are regulations in most cities about what is allowable. You will want a contractor to look at the house before you buy it to determine the feasibility of an addition. 2nd story additions sometimes require the foundation to be shored up as well.

Oct 5, 2016

Your questions and concerns are understandable, but won't be easily addressed here. Contractors and architects can offer input on what's possible with any given home, but each home carries it's own variables - setbacks, foundation depth, neighbor trouble, zoning, etc. Expanding a home is a great idea conceptually, but in my experience, it rarely happens - with the average length of ownership at around 10 years, you're likely to move making the undertaking a questionable effort. As a realtor, I suggest two ideas: 1) find a 2 bedroom home that's at least 1200 square feet in bad shape and reconfigure it or 2) broaden your location.

Oct 5, 2016
Preemptive offer on houses?
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Sep 18, 2016

Have you done a preemptive offer on a house here in the bay area? If so, how did you find out about them? We are trying to buy a house in berkeley in this crazy market, and would love to not have to do the bidding war. If you had a well connected relator that helped you find houses before they went on MLS, we would love a recommendation. Any other advice about how to get a house in this market is also much welcome. Thanks everyone!

Sep 18, 2016

We bought our home in Berkeley 2 years ago by bidding $180,000 over asking price with no contingencies. If you don't have an all cash offer, you will need to bid high. Yes, find the right real estate agent for you as that is the most crucial part in the craziness that is Berkeley housing. One of the problems that we found, if you buy in the flats, is that the price you offer may be higher than the appraisal comes in at. This happened to us. The comps from all around us did not support the $1,010,000 bid that we offered. What that means is that we had to pony up $40,000 cash to make up the difference in the loan (you can't take another loan or borrow from retirement accounts while in escrow) or we would have lost all of our earnest money and the deal would have fallen through. Just beware of that. We had no cash left (obviously, since it had all gone into our down payment chunk, had we known earlier...) but we "magically" came up with $40,000. In all honesty, I have never heard of a realtor offering a house before it hit the MLS, but maybe I am missing something; our friend who found a great house that was not listed in Oakland did so by being a neighbor of an older homeowner who just wanted to get rid of an old fixer-upper without listing it. But almost every other homeowner I know had to slog through the nightmare of bidding wars. Best of luck to you guys, it is not easy

Sep 21, 2016

People don't like to move in winter when school is in session and the weather is cold and wet. I would suggest you keep up your hunt through the end of this year and the beginning of next. There will be less competition than in the spring and summer.

Sep 21, 2016

Archived Q&A and Reviews

Questions

Who to ask for advice on how to buy a home?
I want a house but my honey's finances suck!
How to figure out if we can afford to buy?
Watch outs for older homes in Bay area?
First-time homebuyer and CalHFA Loans
What is a fair commission?
Home purchase on limited funds
How to buy a house

Who to ask for advice on how to buy a home?

April 2013

We are looking to sell our home and buy another one, and would like to be able to do this without renting in between. My parents have offered to help, but are not sure how to suggest structuring that help -- a loan? A (smaller) gift? Co-signing? Not sure if we should talk to a real estate attorney, a mortgage broker, or a real estate agent. I'd appreciate any recommendations on who would be a helpful consultant for this question. Anonymous

Dear Anonymous, I'm a Realtor in Berkeley. Been working here for the last 6 years but my father Jack has been a Realtor here for 35 years. It is actually more common than you would expect, to have this dilemma, however it is not a dilemma as much as it is a logistical plan. My initial advise includes 3 different scenarios which land you in another home without any time lapse or rentals. It is not the easiest or most productive process due to the skepticism on the other side of each transaction, however it most definitely can be done and with my help it will.

1. You can sell your home ''contingent on the purchase of another home''. Basically you would disclose that you are intending to purchase another home to move into and cannot sell your home until this happens. Thus ideally within the first few days of you buying your next home and moving to it, you would then complete the sale of your existing home. It is not as ideal for you because you need the cash to make the purchase.

2. Purchase a home contingent on the sale of your current home. Once you get into contract the seller will know you plan to sell yours in order to bring in the balance needed to make the purchase. This ideally would close at the same time and move you in.

3. The last option I can think of right now is to pay rent back to the buyer of your home. Establish this in negotiations and secure your home for a month or two after you sell it. Not very ideal but definitely an option.

I could talk to you a lot more about this so email or call if you have any questions. I'm sure there are more options that will arise as we get a little more into it. Frankly I would love to help you out and represent you in this process as I'm sure we can make it happen for you. Thanks, Jeremy

You will want to start with talking to someone regarding financing. You need to see what you can afford while carrying the two homes simultaneously and if it is even possible before you start. Lenders will calculate the liabilities on both properties plus your consumer debt against your income. The maximum ratio that lenders allow vary from lender to lender. I am a loan originator and Realtor and can have a discussion with you regarding it if you like. W.

I highly recommend attorney Jean Shrem for any real estate advice. She knows how to quickly get to the heart of issues. She can give clear and concise guidance and is a wealth of resources. Her website is: www.shremlaw.com. anon

I really think that a realtor is a good choice for these sorts of questions. I can recommend Marni Fischer of Marvin Gardens Real Estate. She is really patient and caring. Her number is: 415-722-0032. anon

Robin Kingsbury of Red Oak Realty, can work with you and help you determine the steps that you need to take in buying a home. He is extremely knowledgeable and patient, especially with first time home buyers. Clients love him. His website is www.4eastbayareahomes.com or you can reach him robin [at] redoakrealty.com

Hi, there are several ways to accomplish what you would like to do. Your specific options will depend on your overall financial picture, how much equity you have in your current home, how much you need to borrow on the next home, the location of the home you are selling, and so on. I would be happy to discuss with you in more detail if you like (I am a local real estate agent). You will also get good advice from a reputable local real estate loan broker, and I can suggest several to choose from. Best of luck! Holly

I want a house but my honey's finances suck!

August 2010

I am in a long term relationship with a very sweet but indebted guy. Before I buy his house from him, or go in together with him, I need some legal/financial advice on how to protect me from his bad credit and what other options I may have to bring about a happy resolution for both our home ownership needs. I know there has to be others out there in this situation. Who have you seen or what have you done??? K.O.

In the bay area it is very common for unmarried couples to own a house together, but your hesitation is smart because there are a lot of issues which could come up. My suggestion would be to get a legal contract which specifically outlines what you both want and what you'll do if your situation changes, much like a partnership agreement or premarital agreement. A lawfirm in San Francisco which specifically deals with this type of thing is Sirkin & Associates (website is http://www.andysirkin.com). On the site there is an article titled ''Unmarried Partners and Real Estate Ownership'' (http://www.andysirkin.com/HTMLArticle.cfm?Article=4) which you may find helpful in considering whether you want to buy with your partner and if so, what are some of the issues which you need to consider.

As for financing, a good loan broker would be the best person to ask about how to apply for a loan. My husband is self employed so he is considered a credit risk as well, so I applied for our home loan by myself but also put my husband on title, which was not an issue at the time. Good luck!! ANON

How to figure out if we can afford to buy?

Jan 2010

Hello. I feel really stupid asking this, but I am not really sure where to start. I think my husband and I should buy a house, and are finally in a financial position to do that. Before now, I've been in grad school, but now I'm done, and we have a better idea of neighborhoods, our needs for the next few years (we have a 2 y/o and one on the way), etc. So, I guess my question is - how do I tell what I can afford, and whether it makes sense, tax-wise, expenses-wise, etc. for us to buy versus keep renting? I have heard, for example, that we can borrow against our 401K, but I have no idea how this works. Is that something a mortgage broker would help with? Or are they just salesmen? Do I need a financial planner? Or a bank? Some other service?

Can I just use my Fidelity guy (we have a good chunk of money in mutual funds there)? Ideally I'd like someone to look at our incomes, our investments, our expenses, our tax situation, and say ''boom, here's the amount of money you can/should spend on a house without taking unreasonable risk.'' Do financial planners do that? Just on an hourly fee? Or maybe, what I need is a realtor? Gosh, I am embarrassed to say that I really have no idea. Thanks in advance for your help. Clueless

Hello. we are actually undergoing a very similar process however are now in escrow on a house. We are usiing two different types of financial planners. One that actually looks at our assets, debts and will help us decide what type of investments, insurance, accounts for the kids would be recommended. We have an upcoming appt with this person and he charges by the hour. The other planner actually does our investing for us. If you have anymore questions, feel free to email.Good luck to you. Lillian

A lot of the professionals that you refer to are mutually exclusive. A financial planner might help you get an idea of what you can afford given your income/expense profile, lifestyle, savings pattern, goals, etc. Your CPA can talk to you about the tax ramifications of interest and property tax deductions, the ins and outs of the FHA first time buyer tax credit, as well as the feasibility of using your 401K or IRA for your down payment. Then a mortgage broker might help you find the best mortgage for your financial profile. There really is no one stop shop. As far as what you can afford, bear in mind, a house is a pretty costly venture that goes beyond a down payment and mortgage payments. You need to factor in semi-annual property taxes, insurance, and maintenance (regular and unplanned large-scale projects like roofs). Property tax, for example, can equal, at today's prices, about 3-4 mortgage payments. Insurance can equal another 3-4 mortgage payments. Yes, you get some relief at tax time, but it becomes a cash flow issue. Two caveats: beware the floating rate mortgage - cheap upfront but beware the resets, and don't fall prey to cash out refis - you still have to pay them back. One other piece of advice that our realtor gave us: after talking with your planner (or not in our case), figure out a dollar figure that is your maximum comfortable price. If a property goes above that, you feel OK about walking away. In a hotter real estate market with multiple offers, it is easy to get sucked into a bidding war. This is a graceful way to keep things sane for your pocketbook. Anonymous

You do NOT want to ask a realtor or a mortgage broker for financial advice. While there are many ethical and competent realtors and mortgage brokers, their focus is to find you a mortgage and have you buy a house, and they don't get paid unless these things are accomplished. Therefore, they are not neutral advisors, and I have concluded (after buying 3 houses over the past 15 years) that a realtor's job is inherently problematic, because your realtor is not just looking after your interest, they are looking out for their own interest as well, and those might be entirely different things. I have learned a lot about financial planning by reading the New York Times' business section on Saturdays and Sundays. There's a few columns that focus on these issues and they offer good practical advice about how to budget for buying a house, how much of your income should go into a mortgage payment, and whether owning a home is a safe investment vs. stocks, retirement funds, etc. Recently one column discussed the issue of home maintenance, and the fact that most home buyers do not factor this cost into their monthly expenses, and that you should factor it in because inevitably your house will need new paint, and various repairs and upkeep (unless you are skilled and handy enough and have the time to do it yourself). You could probably find a lot of this on the NYT website. I have not figured out how to find a truly neutral financial advisor but there has been some discussion of this on this list (someone who does not actually work for a financial services company and who will end up trying to sell you ''financial products''). Good luck! a bit jaded

I'm not an expert, but I'd expect a financial adviser should be able to help you... maybe ask for recommendations in the rec. newsletter? In the meanwhile, if you want to get a sense of how much house you can afford, you can just do an online search for ''how much house can i afford calculator'' and there are many different tools online, for example: http://realestate.yahoo.com/calculators/afford.html The same can be done with ''rent versus buy calculator,'' like: http://realestate.yahoo.com/calculators/rent_vs_own.html And the same with ''rent versus buy tax saving calculator,'' one possible site: http://partners.leadfusion.com/leadfusion/freddiemac/home08/tool.fcs?type=popup=590=620 EP

As someone who just bought a house this week, I can tell you that seeing a mortgage broker would answer all your questions. They can tell you about conventional versus FHA loans, they can look at your income and assets and tell you what you can afford. They are knowledgeable about how much cash you'll need from deposit to close of escrow and they can also tell you about the tax benefits of owning a home.

Get some recommendations for a mortgage broker from friends and family (or BPN!) Gather all your financial info (current debts, credit scores, checking, savings and investment accounts, and assets). Talk to your spouse about your comfort level as far as monthly payments before you go. You can also talk to your financial planner about what accounts you may be able to cash in penalty-free as first time home buyers. Good luck! Jennifer

Dear ''Clueless'' (you're really not!) You should first take a good look at your budget. A financial planner who works on a FEE-ONLY basis could help tremendously with this. Forecast what you'd be paying for a home with a mortgage, children, taxes, etc. Pay close attention to this step, because by buying too much home, you're taking a big risk if one or both are not earning income.

Regarding the mortgage broker, banker, real estate agents...your instincts are correct...they are salespeople. They earn their living on making a sale, not giving objective advice. Also, Fidelity can help with how to invest, but that's about it. They're not going to do the job of a good, objective, comprehensive financial planner in looking at all pillars of your financial lives.

With a growing family and possibly a home purchase, you're going to want to be sure the following areas have been reviewed, and consolidated into usable advice by a professional:

1. Budget: How it looks now and after major life changes have occurred. Budgets are great for determining how your family would deal with a job loss, increased or unplanned expenses, etc.

2. Retirement plan and College plan: What should you be saving for yourselves vs. what your goals are for the children.

3. Tax situation - can it be improved now, and how does purchasing a home affect your finances?

4. Insurance - analysis of property, casualty, life, disability, medical, etc. You want to be sure you're getting the best coverage for the lowest premium cost.

5. Estate plan - with children, this is a very important issue. Having a will, trust (if needed), health care directives, and powers of attorney set up will ensure your loved ones are cared for in the event of your untimely deaths or severe disability.

6. Investments - are they aligned properly with your goals? Choosing great investments are one part of the problem. When to sell, how to structure your acts for maximum returns, minimal taxes and expenses, and rebalancing are vital parts to your investment strategy.

Pulling this together into a comprehensive plan of action is what a financial planner will do for you. I know of NO mortgage broker, banker, real estate agents or even Fidelity reps who do this.

I don't think you need either at this point. It's fairly straightforward to figure out yourself whether you can afford a house or not. The general guideline is to put 20% of the purchase price as a down payment and then your monthly payment (including mortgage, insurance and taxes) should not be more than a quarter or a third of your monthly income. So, if you make 8K a month for example, your housing costs shouldn't be more than 2-2,500 a month. Anything more than that and you'd be stretching yourself too thin. There are lots of mortgage calculators available on the web. You should also have a good cushion of money in savings because stuff always goes wrong with houses when you least expect it.

Once you're ready to get serious you can work with a realtor and when the time comes they can put you in contact with a mortgage broker or you can get recommendations from friends.

Financial professionals will always tell you that you can afford more than you actually should. It's much safer to be conservative. You'll sleep better at night. Happy house-hunting! anon

It sounds like you want a financial planner. We've been working in fits and starts with Brandi Bernazanni (has excellent reviews on this forum) and our last meeting was for exactly the question you're asking. Banks only care about whether you'll be able to pay the mortgage, even if it means eating ramen noodles all week, never taking a vacation, and not saving a cent. Mortgage brokers can tell you how much you qualify for but not how much you need to save for retirement and your kids' college. Be prepared to spend $1-2k to come up with an overall financial plan, as no one can say how much you can spend on a house without looking at the whole picture. It sounds like it'd be money well worth spending for you, especially before you make such a massive long-term investment. It definitely has been for us. fellow househunters

I asked my husband, who's a Certified Financial Planner, your question. He says it's unlikely that your mortgage broker or Fidelity guy would be able to give you the big picture that you need to help you make this decision. There are some financial planners who work on an hourly basis. (My husband doesn't--you pay him a fee to complete a comprehensive financial plan.) If you don't find a financial planner through friends' recommendations, the Financial Planning Association website should have information to help. Good luck! Karen

Hi, I am a certified financial planner in El Cerrito. You should first figure out how much you can spend on your home by reviewing your current situation/finances such as your assets, liabilities, income, and expenses. The snap shot will give you a better idea on what and where you can afford to purchase. Financial planners can help you with these types of analysis. I think realtors can help you find the appropriate homes based on your criteria, and mortgage brokers can help you find the appropriate loans/lenders you will need to purchase a home.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but the person who should be telling you ''how much you can afford'' is you. When we bought our house a few years ago when the market was way different, they were encouraging us to borrow lots more. Well, I'm thrilled to death we didn't. We bought a house that's great for us, and didn't stretch us to the last penny. Good thing too, as with the economy I wound up not working for 2 years. I can't imagine how stressful that would have been had we stretched and done as the bank told us. As it turned out, we cut back on things, stopped saving, and had zero child care expenses as I was home w/the kids.

Track where you spend every penny - get a real strong understanding of what you spend and what you would need. Be prepared that one of you may, by choice or not, be out of work for a while.

And yes, the tax benefits are great and should be included in your planning. I decided how much I could afford

Hi - I could have written your post myself a few years ago when I was in a similar situation. I was a single woman debating whether I was able to afford a house and how to balance paying off student loans and saving responsibly for retirement. I'm pretty risk averse and didn't want to get in over my head financially. I felt overwhelmed by the entire process and didn't know where to begin. I considered going to a mortgage broker, but realized quickly that those folks are incented to sell you a mortgage. They'll tell you what you are 'qualified' for, but a financial planner will tell assess your entire financial situation and give you advice on what's best for you. There are also some considerable tax savings that make owning a home more affordable.

Some financial planners offer this kind of assistance, and you're probably best off to go with a fee based person. The ones offering 'free' services get paid by selling you products, so I'm not always sure that they have your best interests at heart.

I saw a great financial planner, Megan Rouse (www.MeganRouseFinancialPlanning.com) who has reasonable rates. She helped me calculate a maximum amount that I could spend on a house without getting into trouble. I'm so relieved that I went to her - it was during the crazy go-go years. Of course, my house has lost value, but I'm in great financial shape because I never got in over my head. Megan is really down to earth and gave me great advice that allowed me to make sound, thoughtful decisions.

Good luck. You are not asking crazy questions - you are asking sensible questions! Jennifer

I often have to laugh at some of the responses (although I probably should cry instead).

Neither a financial advisor nor a mortgage broker is going to tell you whether you can afford the payments or not (although the financial advisor will usually be the better bet).

YOU need to know YOUR bottom line. What are the TOTAL costs - principle, interest, taxes, insurance, HOA fees, utilities, maintenance, etc.? Does your cash flow allow you to pay all costs AND eat, AND save for your future, AND maintain an emergency fund AND ...? How secure is your job? What do you anticipate in pay raises (or cuts)?

Also, don't be fooled: BOTH of them are in sales!

The mortgage broker works to make a living. Maximizing the loan maximizes the income. Not all mortgage brokers will push you beyond your capacity, but know that their interests may not be aligned with yours.

Financial advisors don't work as a hobby either. Whether ''fee-only'' or ''fee-based'' (terms too often abused by those in the industry - more about that later), or whatever, expect to pay them in one way or another. They too wish to maximize their income and their opinions may also be biased. Managing your assets, not sinking them into real estate is how they do that.

BOTTOM LINE: 1) Create a budget. 2) Hire an advisor to make sure you're looking at the big picture, to hold you accountable, to guide you. 3) Hire a mortgage broker to provide the loan.

What's the difference between ''fee-based'' and ''fee-only''?. True ''fee-only'' advisors make money ONLY on plan fees and asset management. When you buy a house, that's money they won't be managing. (Be careful with anyone claiming to be fee-only: if a fee-only advisor recommends someone from whom to buy the insurance they recommend, ask if they share in commissions or get paid referral fees.)

''Fee-based'' advisors are identical to fee-only advisors except that they may earn commissions. They may get paid on your investments up front rather than over time; they may be able to sell you the insurance themselves.

Neither is better or worse than the other. Arguments can be made in favor of one over the other - aligned vs conflicts of interests, higher vs lower cost, etc. But every situation is unique and requires its own evaluation.

A good advisor will explain the options and make a recommendation based on YOUR situation. - Anon

Watch outs for older homes in Bay area?

Sept 2006

Hello, We just moved to the Bay area and are looking to buy a home in Piedmont or Montclair. Most of the houses we are interested in are from the 1920s and 1930s, however we are not sure what key ''watch-outs'' we should be aware of. We know that all buildings should be seismically retrofitted. Are there other structural things to beware of? Are there pros and cons to stucco houses? When it rains are mudslides a concern? new to east bay

If you're new to the state, I'd suggest sitting down with a real estate agent to walk through an offer package--including the 8 page standard offer itself as well as all the disclosures (lead, hot water heater strapping (for stability), earthquake (retrofit), and so on.

Generally, each town has its own list of disclosures as well that you should see in advance--view protection ordinances, education parcel taxes (Piedmont), special landlord-tenant laws (for instance if you had any potential to rent in the future), and so on. Both Piedmont and Montclair have some school space issues, so if you join the community after school starts, you may end up in an excellent and (very) nearby school for the first year (with the option to stay thereafter, usually, if you'd prefer).

That would give you a starting point.

In addition, most homes, especially older homes, sold in the area have pest inspections offered by the seller. For termites but more often the dry rot that is endemic in this moist area. Is the inspector reputable? There's one that's very commonly used and the gold standard here in the East Bay.

And even if the seller offers a recent home inspection, I'd definitely suggest that you get your own, tell the inspector that you're new to the area, and they'll be sure to give you as much background (and important perspective--in the scheme of things, is it a dealbreaker that the electrical system is largely 70 years old?). I've worked with a number of inspectors, and while their attention to detail might vary, they seem to tend to be in the business because they love explaining things to other folks.

Hope this helps Maureen Kennedy

I just purchased a stucco home in Oakland that was built in 1925 and was owned by the same family for the entire time. Not much had been upgraded in those years. These are the things I would suggest you be aware of:

Is the electrical system grounded? What kind of wiring does the home have? A lot of older homes have knob and tube wiring which some people consider to not be safe.

Check the piping. Most older homes have old piping and it often needs to be replaced with copper.

Have the foundation thoroughly checked. Our home inspector told us that our home had a lot of cracks in the foundation, which while not uncommon in older homes, can be serious if they're severe enough.

The heating system: A lot of older homes have asbestos insulated ductwork. We had ours replaced, but were told if the ducts are in good condition and there is no asbestos leaking out, this isn't necessary.

I highly recommend that you have a thorough inspection done. Knowing what needed to be done on our older home BEFORE we purchased it was tremendously helpful. Latonya

Piedmont's on bedrock----very safe in an earthquake. Montclair has a lot of cliff-hangers------I wouldn't want to live in one of those even if they do have the best views for the lower prices. Check out how long it takes you to get to a freeway. If you live in Montclair, you might have to add a lot of time for driving down winding, single-lane roads to get to a freeway everytime you want to drive somewhere. And most of Montclair is very shady and dark, and damp. You may want to consider Broadway Terrace. They're close to major transportation, flatter lots, and nice homes. I only go to Montclair for Peet's Coffee

First-time homebuyer and CalHFA Loans

June 2005

I am looking for more recent recommendations for a Realtor who specializes in first time home buyers working with CalHFA Loans. We are also looking for an AWESOME lender who specializes in these loans. We were working with one lender and he just stopped calling us! This has been really frustrating and I'm starting to think that our dream for homeownership is not going to happen. It seems that all the homes that we can afford are in less than desirable locations. If you go through the city first time home buyer programs you have to give them back so much of the equity, that you don't have much left over. How are people buying these expensive homes and still staying afloat? It's unreal. Frazzeled Future Homebuyer

If you are a first-time homebuyer under certain annual income restrictions (very generous in the Bay Area) you will almost certainly qualify for CalHFA loans. We used them to buy our house. The trick is to find the right people to steer you through the process since most big banks and realtors, in our experience, don't particularly like working with CalHFA. Instead, we found First Home Inc. on Graham Street in San Francisco's The Presidio. Sergei Andruha and his helpful staff guided us throught the entire process, including the step-by-step procedure of obtaining and securing the appropriate CalHFA loans, and we were even able to buy our first small home without a realtor! First Home is a real pleasure to work with and I cannot recommend them highly enough. They also have a number of REaltors lined up that they work with. Contact Sergei at [Sergei [at] fhicda.com] and please do mention my name. We had worked before with HBAC.org of Oakland (another first-time homebuyer's advice non-profit), and although quite helpful, that agency does not have the professionalism and customer service dedication that FHICDA has. Anna S.

What is a fair commission?

Jan 2005

Looking through the advice on realtors reveals that many folks feel they got a good or reasonable or fair commission rate from their realtor when they sold houses in the area. However, no one specifies what good is. Can we share this information in this anonymous format to throw some much needed light on this tricky negotiation process?

Ok, I'll show you mine first. I interviewed two agents who work in the Oakland (Montclair, Piedmont, etc.)-Berkeley area. Both offered to represent the sale for gross of 5% (2.5% for buyer agent; 2.5% for themselves as selling agents). Both presented this as something of a deal, though I believe 5% is becoming the new standard (what was once 6%).

I'm also curious what terms people have negotiated for buying and selling with the same agent. Were agents willing to give any additional considerations for doing both with them? Clueless on commissions

It seems to me like with most things, with real estate agents and their commissions you get what you pay for. How good can an agent be if they will so eagerly drop their comissions? I wouldn't take a paycut on my job and offer the same standard of work. We valued our agent as our home selling experience was a vital one. We paid our agents 6% and got great advice and received the highest selling price on our home in our neighborhood. Also, we used the same agents for our new home and they negotiated us a lot of money back on the sale of our new home. Well worth the commission investment in our eyes as we by far earned and saved more than we would have with a reduced commission agent. We are so glad that we weren't trying to be penny wise and pound foolish. Jim

Re: Clueless on Commissions
As a Realtor in the East Bay, I feel it necessary to respond to the inquiry/comment regarding commissions. Although many agents will give a discount on commissions, it is definitely not the norm nor standard. 6% is still the standard commission base. Unless your agent acts in a Dual Agency capacity, they will only see half that (3%). Then, you agent is till subject to a further commission split with their broker which is sometimes as high as 50/50. There are many aspects of the buying and selling process which are both time and labor intensive. Not to mention the liability issues assumed by both broker and agent in each transaction. Then, you have escrow which in and of itself is like a new customer entering the transaction. Managing a successful escrow between the buyer, seller, both agents and the title company as well as inspection companies, contractors, lenders, etc. is no small task. If you do the math on the hours it takes from beginning to end and the commission realized at the close of escrow, sometimes the rate can be as little as $10/hr. To put it in perspective for you, that is about the same amount that a courtesy clerk at your local grocery store is paid.So, although it seems as though Real Estate agents are over-paid and should be willing to negotiate their commissions, consider all that they are providing for you to realize the desired result (the sale or purchase of your home). Dedicated Realtor

Home purchase on limited funds

March 2004

I would like to know if there are single mothers out there, who would like to purchase a home on limited funds. Any advice?

hi there, i did not buy a home when i was single but i had done lots of preparation for it (it just turns out that 6 months later, my boyfriend proposed and we got married, etc. etc.). you should check out this organization, w/h helps people purchase and refinance homes. you don' have to be single, just ''lower income'' based on the home prices where you are looking. i'm not explaining this very well, but check out the website: http://www.naca.com

How to buy a house

August 1999

Based on our fairly recent house-buying experience, here's what we found: (1) You have to trust your agent to do the right thing, and you have to do your homework as to what people have been paying for the various types/qualities/sizes of houses in the various neighborhoods you're looking at. We found that our agent was concerned if she thought we were overbidding, which inspired us to trust her and her judgment on many issues. (2) We found that a number of sellers would have been happy to let us do pre-offer inspections, because we could then write a cleaner offer. We only pre-inspected at one house, though, which we didn't get and so lost $400. The market has been so competitive that a number of potential buyers do a pre-inspection, which sort of cancels out a lot of the advantage it might otherwise confer on you I don't think not pre-inspecting on later houses (we looked for a long time and wrote a number of offers) was a big deal, except in one instance with a very nervous seller. I'm afraid that we found it generally boils down to money, money, money. If you offer more $$, the seller will probably take your offer over a lower one with a pre-inspection, unless the difference is pretty darn small. (3) If your agent feels the seller-provided inspection reports were done by a reputable company, and the reports are fairly recent, sure, you can trust 'em. But you need to be aware that those reports are written with GIANT loopholes. (4) Foundations are a pretty big deal. This is earthquake country. We got under contract for one house, had it inspected and found the foundation was returning to sand. There was some negotiation back and forth after that, but ultimately that house fell through. With the house we did buy, dry rot from leaky garage roof and pipes has been the big problem. If you buy on a hill, landslides can be an issue. You should check with the city to see what sort of permits have been issued for your property in the last 5 years or so, and you should also have your sewer lateral inspected if it's an older house you're thinking of buying. Replacing a sewer lateral is about $10K, so it's better to know now. Again, your agent should be able to advise you as to what might be a good idea for the individual property you're considering. Wendy 8/99

Go to Nolo Press in West Berkeley and buy their book on buying a house. They are a coop of lawyers who write books for the average person. This book will get you up to date with current CA law, as well as give you lots of tips. It was great for us!! In general, CA protects the buyer very well. -Lisa 8/99

My husband and I recently bought a house in Vallejo and relied heavily on the book, Home Buying for Dummies. The book tells you about all the factors involved in buying a house and what to look out for, and it does it all in non-realtor English, so normal people can understand it. Our house-buying experience turned out to be relatively painless. We also had an excellent realtor who did a lot for us without pressuring us into anything. Karyn 8/99

There are a couple good books on the market to help you with answers to your questions. One is Home Buying for Dummies, which is part of the for dummies series; another is How to Buy a House in California, which is published by the local, legal self-help publisher, Nolo Press. Your agent will guide you through much of this, and it pays to take some time selecting a competent agent. However, as an inactive (but licensed), realtor-associate who is in the housing market daily, I'll take a shot at some of your questions: 1) The incentive agents have to get you the best price is repeat business from you and referrals. Agents count on referrals and repeat business and the best agents hardly need to market their services to outsiders once they have a good pipeline going of satisfied customers. Unfortunately, in this crazy time of overbidding on houses, the market is driven much more by what buyers are doing to each other than by what good agents will advise. 2) You can always make your bid contingent upon this or that type of inspection and your approval of the results or willingness to pay for repairs up to a certain amount. This is common. Again, however, because of the current trend of houses being over-bid on, some buyers may be willing to purchase as-is with no inspection contingencies just to get the house. 3) Look at the date of the inspection report and the party that provided it. Ask your agent whether he or she has hear of the inspection company before. There are many pest control companies and roofers that agents should be familiar with and an experienced agent will have run across these firms before. If it's an unknown company, look at the report carefully and decide whether it seems realistic based on the apparent condition of the house. If you can't make a judgment call, then you should talk with your agent about ordering your own inspection. Just remember that once you have two conflicting reports, the chance for an argument with the seller that can blow the deal dramatically increases. 4) Other types of work--it depends upon what the problem is and how much the seller is willing to correct. You can also get an overall contractor's inspection and have someone give you his or her opinion of whether the house is generally solid despite this or that. 5) Although this is no guarantee the seller will be completely honest, there is a LAW that the seller must disclose all known defects of the property in written form & this becomes part of your purchase contract. his should include material facts that could affect the property's value, such as noisy neighbors or lots of theft in the neighborhood. Good luck! Becky 8/99

House-buying: We bought four years ago and used a helpful book called Buying and Selling a Home in California (or something like that). It's by the person who writes the home news column for the SF Chronicle, off the top of my head her name is Dian (?) Hyman. I've lent it to so many people, I don't even know if I still own it! Nicole 8/99

We did this about 3 years ago, and landed in San Leandro. We liked the area because it was family friendly, had pretty good schools, and was more affordable than Berkeley (the same house in Berkeley would have cost 1/3 to 1/2 again as much). Your realtor might not have much incentive to get you the lowest price, other than losing your business altogether (which he doesn't want to do). There are some agreements you can make with your realtor that don't have them on commission, but I'm not sure how to do it. Make sure they are working for *you*, and not for the seller (it's bad to have the same office representing both you and the seller, for instance). We did inspections either right before making a bid, or right after, with a contingency that the offer was null and void if the inspection turned up bad stuff. This really saved us on one house, which turned up more than $60K worth of work needing to be done.... Should you run screaming at major foundation work? Probably. Depends on whether or not you can afford to do the repairs, or get the seller to do it before lending. The problem is that many lenders will not lend on a house needing major structural repairs such as this. (This was the problem in the house we backed out of, BTW, in addition to other goodies like a toxic furnace.) What can go wrong? You've mentioned the biggies. Other stuff to watch out for: *Really old (knob and tube) wiring that's frayed and unsafe *sinkholes in the yard (bad drainage; potential of slides) *old and bad plumbing (can be REALLY expensive to repair) *really uneven floors (can indicate foundation problems, and can cause damage to the walls and entire structure) Good luck! Dawn 8/99

You should check with the city to see what sort of permits have been issued for your property in the last 5 years or so. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND looking at all the permits issued over the history of the house. It is not difficult (they are usually all in one file) and can be WELL worth it. The ones for our house told us a lot about the quality of various jobs, and revealed the presence of a landslide that took place 10 years previous. We discovered that the work to repair the slide was substandard. You want to know this kind of thing before you buy a house. There are some excellent books on house buying, and as this is likely to me your major investment and asset, it is well worth looking at them. I believe that you should not let the market rush you into doing anything haphazardly. Lynn 8/99