Loveys & Blankies
Archived Q&A and Reviews
| Toddlers' Blankie Problems Infants and Loveys | Repairing, Replacing, or Replicating a Blankie |
Baby's lovey is a toothbrush!
April 2009
I know this may sound ridiculous... but I'm wondering if it is safe to have my baby sleep with a baby-sized toothbrush in her crib... I just started using a baby-sized toothbrush for my 12 month old before she goes to sleep. It seems to have turned into her ''lovey'' and she bawls if I try to get it out of her hands before putting her in the crib. I'm sure I could brush her teeth at a different time and ''unlink'' the association between the toothbrush and sleep. That being said, if it brings her satisfaction, I'm happy to have her continue with this new habit... assuming it is safe. Any thoughts? thanks so much Deb
I would have to say no, it's not safe. They are not made to withstand chewing, fibers could dislodge and choke your baby. Even if she doesn't chew it, I'd be worried she'd poke her eye accidently. find another lovey!
My son was CRAZY about spoons. He would keep one in his hand for at least 6 hours a day. He would go to sleep with a spoon every night, and it would be the first thing he would ask for when he woke up in the morning. Our nightstand was better stocked than our silverware drawer! After that he had a thing for bobby pins. I brought pack after pack. He didn't put them in his mouth; didn't poke anything with them. Just held them in his hand as a sort of ''security bobby pin.'' Eventually, he just lost interest. Now what is paramount in his world is pointing out the finer features of various electric fans. The sun rises and sets around ''celling fan appreciation.'' (do you know they have an alarming number of youtube videos about fans?!?! scads and scads of 'em.) Anyhow, I think it very much depends of how she's interacting with her toothbrush. I would worry if she was doing anything potentially dangerous while holding it: walking around with it in her mouth, running/climbing with it, etc. But -- and I'm sure the experts would disagree-- I don't think there's anything wrong with sleeping with her toothbrush. - just be glad it's not flatware
Bad idea if it's just a stick shaped toothbrush. I'd worry less if it were a true toddler toothbrush, which are those circle shapes that a kid could not jam into her throat. You may want to just deal with the tantrum now and let her know that the toothbrush stays in the bathroom. There are more tantrums ahead anyway.
Loveys are not allowed at preschool!
June 2007
Hey parents,
My daughter is very, very, very attached to her ''lovey.'' It really helps her through some trying times, and I don't have a problem with her carrying it around, which is good because she does 24/7. It does get dirty (we have many to cycle through) and in the way at times, but all in all I like it. However, the preschool she will go to in September has a policy about leaving all toys at home.
For loveys, they are allowed to carry them around the first two weeks. Then, they have a special hook where they hang their lovey and they can go get it for a quick hug or snuggle, but it has to stay there. They can use it during naps.
My questions are: 1.) Should I try to convice the school to let her carry it around, or do I use this as a good opportunity for her to internalize the strength she gets from it? How do I do the latter?
2.) How do I go about talking to her about it and preparing her for this part of the preschool transition?
3.) Know of any good books about this issue? (for kids, I mean, not adults).
Thanks! Lovely Lovey Mom
Honestly, I think you should sit back and let the school deal with it. You are allowed to send the lovey to school, they have to enforce their rule. Somehow I think by the fact that they do allow the loveys at school, they are not really as strict as they are making it sound. They just don't want the parents to tell their kids, ''Isn't it great, you and Mr. ZooZoo will get to sit at school together all day!'' anon
The school's policy sounds reasonable - just go with the flow and your daughter will too. Definitely prepare her for what will happen and just be matter-of-fact about it - this is where your lunch bag goes, your lovey and your jacket, etc... My daughter used to get really happy to kiss her lovey and put it in the nap bag - where it would wait all day for her until rest time. She liked knowing where the lovey was and liked having a part in the morning ritual of saying ''see ya later!'' Hang in there - she and lovey will be fine. been there
I think the preschool's approach is fine. It's accessible, safe (won't get lost or dirty), and available for nap. There is so much going on in preschool, that most children find they really don't need their lovey as often. I say go with the preschool's guidelines and see how it goes. I'm sure they've seen 100s of kids who are extremely attached to their loveys adjust to preschool rules just fine.
As for preparing your daughter, the one book that comes to mind is ''Owen'' by Kevin Henkes. It's a lovely book about the very same issue - starting school and not being able to take his blankie. Cute, funny and a great way to show children that loveys are great and that one never needs to say ''bye forever'' no matter what anyone says. Lover of Loveys
I think if you've made the decision to give your child over to a preschool, you need to trust their judgment about what is best for the child, the class and their business. If not, well, maybe she is too young and needs to stay home with you. anon
Why not see if their system works? It sounds like a reasonable policy to me. I wouldn't make any kind of deal about it, just see how it goes and if she gradually stops needing it at school. Peer pressure is a powerful force and my kids stopped doing things in front of their friends (using pacifiers, loveys, etc.) that they still needed at home. --try not to pre-stress about it!
My daughter, 4.5 currently, was addicted to her blanket and pacifier at the beginning of her 1st year at her current preschool--she walked, talked, slept, ate, cried, etc., with the pacifier in her mouth, and the blanket in her tight clutches. I have never wanted to take them away from her, feeling that the emotional attachment to them would make separation possibly traumatic for her. However, I admitted that it was easier to hear her amazing sentences without that plastic thing in her mug! So, when the school suggested she leave the binky and the blanket in her cubby, she was initially reluctant, but it has worked out wonderfully. She transitioned just fine from having it all the time, to having it when she napped or was truly distraught, and then to having it only when she napped or slept for the night. That took maybe 9 months? The school was marvelous, not too pushy but still firm about her needing to leave the pacifier/blanket in her cubby. Honestly, getting rid of the pacifier was the hardest thing: she was having constant, chronic ear infections which were being prolonged by the pacifier use. With the request of 2 pediatricians and pressure from granparents (my folks), I had to make the decision for her--she had to have her give up the pacifier. Not an easy thing, let me tell you. I believe it would have been easier to let her give it up by herself, but it was no longer healthy for her to continually have them.
In short, your child will have to give the lovey up at some point, obviously, but I think you'd agree that the easier it is on both you and your child, the better for EVERYONE involved! :) So, my suggestion is to contact the school early (like, now) and find out what their strategy is (from the little you wrote, it sounds pretty standard, and in my humble opinion, just what you would want from a preschool). If you can, talk to her about growing up (everyone does it, even kittens and puppies), and that she will always be your baby, but she does have to start having the 'lovey' at nap times only (or what ever time you choose). If you can start her off with the idea and act of having the lovey less often, at only specific times (nap, night-time, etc.), it will be easier for her (and you) come fall/school time. Preschool will be new and strange and exciting all by itself. So if you can get her started on the transition, and the school helps you two when she starts in the fall, it should all come together in a cohesive whole. That's the idea, anyway. I think I have said all I can say, except for this: good luck!! I'll keep my finger's crossed for you! mom with lovey-loving daughter
Wow, that sounds like a great policy, I'd see how it goes. My daughter is also very attached to her lovey (although not yet in preschool), but I've found she manages different behavior in different circumstances. This might be a great way for yor daughter to find she doesn't need her lovey the way she thinks she does. I'd at least see how it goes, by stating that the lovey can be there for quicke snuggles, they sound like they watch the situation and you'll have a chance to check in with them as the time progresses. But for now, sit back and see what happens. Another Mom
Weaning 3-year-old off ''blankie eating''
Jan 2007
Our three year old son has a blankie as his security object. The problem is that he doesn't just hold his blankie, he takes the edges and stuffs them into his mouth and chews and sucks on them. This is pushing out his front teeth top and bottom dramatically.
He calls it ''eating his blankie.'' He does this when he is going to bed at night or for his nap and a few times during the day when something makes him feel insecure.
It is very clear to us that emotionally blankie is wonderful for him, but from our dentist's point of view, we need to wean him of this habit and fast.
Our son's security and emotions are our priority, so any advice about how and when to wean him of ''blankie eating?'' We appreciate it! Linda
Long story short - My husband and I - both card-carrying thumbsucking, blankie kids. Husband had orthodontia; I have perfect teeth. We have three kids - all thumbsuckers/blankie lovers. One self-weaned around age 5 or so. He has orthodontia. One self-weaned with encouragement from me when he starting getting his permanent teeth - around age 7. No orthodontia. Last one, going on 8 - may never give it up! Can't tell yet about braces. But we had some rules - blankie is essentially for getting to sleep with - it only leave the house on long road/airplane trips. It does not travel all over the house or out in the stroller, etc. It also gets washed occasionally. Bottom line - blankies have been great in helping kids self-comfort and get themselves back to sleep. I say make some guidelines and don't worry so much. Thumbs up!
As the parent who wrote in about a 'toxic lovey' two months ago (my son was sucking on his dolls' yarn hair and had recurrent facial yeast infections, yuck), i appreciate your situation-- and your compassion for the connection your son has with his blanket. i'm happy to say that we resolved the matter relatively painlessly. we had a ceremony on christmas eve in which we cut off the dolls' hair, put it in a bag and left it for santa. he cried--really he mourned--but he went to sleep relatively easy that night, and was thrilled to have presents instead of doll hair the next morning. we also talked about what was going to happen for about a week ahead of time, so he was prepared (my ped recommended keeping him in the loop, and i agree). he now sleeps with and loves, his freakishly bald dolls, and can sleep with as many as he wants. i was afraid he might start sucking on something else in exchange, but he hasn't. the one downside? he completely stopped napping christmas day, and hasn't since. though he sleeps great at night, i can't help but think there's a connection with the sucking/soothing and the end of naps. upside? i don't have to boil doll heads anymore.
you can't cut up the blanky, but my suggestions for you are still similar--i would pick a day (maybe valentine's day?) that has some significance, and start talking about how that's the day that blanky will be retired--and the reasons why--and do it in a really positive way. allow him to help you pick out a frame shadowbox that you'll be putting blanky in to place up on the wall in a spot of honor, and you (without him) pick out three or four stuffed animals that are hard to suck on. on the designated evening, have a retirement ceremony for blanky, let it be emotional, hang it on the wall, and let him pick which of the new toys he wants to sleep with--or let him have all of them and his betty crocker oven, if that makes him happy. and give him special valentines the next day saying how proud you are of him. i know i was surprised how easily it went, and i think you will be, too. ---all the love, half the germs
Toxic Lovey (yeast infection!)
Nov 2006
My two-year-old son is very attached to a rag doll that has been his lovey since he was about eight months old. He has the rather unhygenic habit of lulling himself to sleep by stuffing her blonde yarn locks into his mouth and sucking on them. About a year ago, he developed systemic yeast--outside of mouth, inside and a yeast diaper rash, that was traced back to the dastardly Dolly. My mom sewed up seven Dolly lookalikes, I trimmed their hair down to bangs only, began a regimen of boiling their heads, washing them and rotating them once per sleep time (he only gets them at nap/nighttime)and the yeast cleared up. Yes, I boil their heads--they look lovely simmering feet up in my soup pot.
The yeast returned six weeks ago, and even rx nystatin isn't completely clearing the rash around his mouth. I'm loathe to get rid of The Dollys completely, because he's so attached, but I don't want his physical/oral health to suffer (can't be good for his teeth, right?). I'd like to transition to him still having The Dollys but minus the poison hair. I realize this is a rather individualized situation, but does anyone have any advice of how to make this as untraumatic as possible? I'm thinking of gradually trimming back the bangs til they're too short to suck, but don't know if an all at once approach would be better...nor do i know how/if to discuss it with my son. any related lovey weaning advice would be appreciated. Secondarily, any advice on combatting the facial yeast would be useful-- genitian violet seems too messy for the face, and acidophilus is having limited results.
--love my son, hate his lovey
Yeast infections are hard to get rid of. The only way I could ''cure'' my son's yeast infection was to take Candida orally. Candida is the yeast. Nystatin is topical what you really need is candida. I don't know where to get it here in the states. I got it from a homeopathic practicioner in Germany. It works great. A couple drops in the mouth and the yeast goes away. The body will fight against it. Good luck anon
I know that this might not be what you want to hear, but I think you should take the loveys away cold turkey. If the lovey is making your child sick, it's just not working any more.
Explain to your son that they've gotten yucky and aren't safe for him anymore. Take him out to a store to pick out a new toy as a consolation prize. Take away the loveys on a weekend when you have the time to just be with your son and comfort him as he gets over this hump. Pour yourself a large glass of wine if you need to.
I've heard from parents on BPN many times that weaning (from the breast, bottle, pacifier, whatever) went much more smoothly than expected. Your little boy will be just fine.
Yeast infections are no fun and I'm sorry you're going through this, but I have to say that your description of the boiling dollies is the single funniest thing I have ever read on BPN--thanks for the howl after a hard day.
Amy
Yikes, you are being held hostage by a doll! Your child's health is far more important than your fear. He will learn to love another, and will be better for it. After all, adjusting to love and loss is one of those human situations which inevitably make us stronger. I think you will find that this will also make you a better parent as it gets easier to make those difficult decisions after having made a few.
Here is what I did with the pacifier for my daughter when she was about 2.5 (and getting mouth sores): Explain the situation to your son in a VERY matter of fact tone while using loving words. He will listen. If he gets upset now, you will know that he understands what is going to happen. Congratulate yourself on having an intelligent child! Tell him that you will help him choose another ''lovey''. Bring several safe choices to him and allow him to choose over the course of a morning or afternoon. At nap or bedtime he might want to bring them all in the crib or he may outright reject them. Just hang tough and don't let Dolly reappear!
It will likely be difficult at first, may only last a couple of days (for my daughter it only took one day with an additional explanation and a stuffed rolly-polly polar bear) and make going to sleep a trial for you. But it will all work out in the end! Anon
Are loveys safe in the crib?
Feb 2006
are lovey's safe in the crib of a 4 month old at night? we have an angel dear brand - it's a soft, thin cotton square of material the size of a bandana with a frog's head in the middle. our baby loves it and put it over her face - she cannot completely roll over yet but she can get it off her face easily.
froggy
We have that exact same lovey as well as two other sets given to us (for our twins). I asked the girls' pediatrician and she said she doesn't recommend any toys in the crib, including loveys, until the child is old enough to carry it to bed herself... ie a toddler. She said during a supervised nap it would be ok. So we changed the loveys to car-ride objects, and will wait till later for the crib toys. We also changed from blankets to blanket-sleepers on her advice. You might ask your pediatrician's opinion too. Isa
That seems crazy, not to allow the lovey in the crib until the child is a toddler. We had a baby nurse when our son was first born, and she urged us to get him a lovey starting at 6 weeks--one small (like 8 x 8 inches) and very light so he could hold it, altho not actually carry it at that time. Of course it took a couple months for him to take to it, but it has been a critical part of his sleep routine--critical for him as well, that is, at least since he was 4 months old (he's now 10 months). In the beginning we worried that he would suffocate because he literally covered his face with it everytime he slept; she said most babies do that, and that is one reason why they have to be lightweight. Over the past 4 to 5 months he uses it like so: he might be in his crib, getting tired, but not yet sleeping, but when sleep time comes and we place the lovey near his head, or drape it on his forehead, he grabs it, turns over and goes to sleep. Truly, it is one thing that has been a consistently indispensible part of his sleep routine. The store This Little Piggy sells very nice, appropriately sized, lightweight (silk) lovies. Your pediatrician is, I think, being far, far too cautious on this one...
Lovey substitute for mom's breasts?
Sept 2005
I wish I never allowed this to start but my 19 month old is in the habit of feeling/squeezing my nipples or resting his hand on my breast while he goes to sleep. If I could find a breastlike lovey to get him attached to, this might be a great way for him to get himself to sleep and spare me the pinching. My first thought was a very soft doll but I've never found one with skin that is as supple as human skin. Any ideas? Is there something of the sort around? AS
I saw a baby bottle in a catalogue that was made out of soft material and shaped like a breast -- that might work. It was in Sensational Beginnings or One Step Ahead, I think. Anon
You might try the Breastbottle Nurser. It's actually a bottle but it's in the shape of a breast (hence the name!). It might have the shape/texture you're looking for. I've seen it in one of those First Step (I think) catalogs or you can google it I'm sure. anon
My son did a similar thing. When I withdrew access to my nipples, he simply found his own. He is now nearly 3, and pinches/strokes one of his own nipples for comfort (with his bottle, in stressful situations, when tired etc.). I was worried about it at first, but our pediatrician said that he isn't the first child she's seen do this. Now I see it as his own resourcefulness in finding something to replace me. I don't know if this is helpful at all, I just wanted to say: I think your son will find his way --we tried blanket and lovey and stuffed toy: all to no avail. He found what was best for him when the beloved breast went away.
Better His Than Mine
how about a breast model used for breast exams? or a prostetic breast? they're silicone or some crap, but if he doesn't bite it or try to open it up, it might be ok. or try to introduce a stuffed animal over time (alongside your breast). kim
Desperate to find a replacement blankie
Sept 2005
I am desperately looking for a replacement for my son's blankie. It is from the John Lennon ?Real Love? collection. It is a white cotton blanket with yellow satin trim around the edges. In one corner is an embroidered palm tree and elephant. Note, the palm tree and elephant are key, I found a similar version online, but it looks like this year?s version has replaced the palm tree with a giraffe. The original blanket is from 2002, and I'm not sure they make it anymore. I'm happy to purchase this (for a reasonable price) from anyone who can part with it. Kelly
Try Ebay.
Leslie
2-year-old's blankie obsession
August 2005
My 2-year-old loves her blanket, but recently, it seems to have escalated into an obsession. We've always limited her use of it to her bedroom only, which she never objected to before. Now she wants it all the time and will have a tantrum if she doesn't get it. Should we let her have her blankie whenever she wants or should we continue to limit her usage of it?? Thanks in advance for your advice!
It sounds like the bigger problem is whether you want to get comfortable with her having the blanket elsewhere. I've never wanted my 3-yr old to have a blankie thing, just because I've been afraid of the dependency and what to do if something gets lost. Mine also never showed much interest in anything for longer than a week but recently is very interested in a particular blanket-fortunately, one that I like and purchased two of way back when, on the assumption that it could be permanent. She likes to bring her blankie downstairs when she wakes up and willoccassionally ask for it elsewhere, and almost always wants it for sleeping now. Every kid is different, and every parent has different needs and tolerances, but I'd say go ahead and let her have it. Childhood can be scary and exciting, and a blankie isn't much harm. However, I'd make sure she realizes that the blankie has to get washed regularly, and I wouldn't give it to her if she throws a tantrum. I'd just let her have it before that.
This is the age for the blankie obsession. When they are two, they are beginning to learn to separate from their parents and to regulate their own behavior, and the blankie is a big help for some kids. It is something they can turn to to comfort themselves and calm themselves down, especially when a parent is not easily available. Thus, I would let her have it all the time for now -- because this is when her need for it is greatest.
Our child had a similar obsession. He took that darn blankie everywhere when he was two. At three, it was restricted to the car and the house. Now that he is four, he may have it for bed only. But it still does calm him quite a bit. It seems to be a bit of a tactile thing -- he'll sit and rub the satin edging between his fingers until he falls asleep.
Anyway,most stuff I have read suggests that the ''blankie obsession'' is actually a positive developmental step, and should be allowed, especially at 2.
Karen
Hi - we have compromised so that the blankie comes with us but waits in the car or stroller. It is a rule, ''blankie waits.'' She tests it and asks if blankie can come along and the answer is always the same, blankie waits. She seems to like knowing blankie is there but is protected and clean... anon
Go ahead and let your 2-year-old carry her blankie around. It will make both your lives easier, and believe me, she'll grow out of it in a year or so. I've never met a high school kid who still carries around her blankie/baby/duckie. It's normal for toddlers to get strongly attached to a comfort object - at 2, she's suddenly aware of the larger world around her, and she needs a little extra reassurance. Both my kids (now 5 and 8) dragged around their blankies/''baby'' in their toddler years, and both lost obsessional interest around three or four. My eight and a half year old daughter still sleeps with her ''baby,'' a formerly-pink, now squashed and greyish, soft doll, but she'd never take it to school.
Just my two cents. Let your tot drag her blankie around the house, take it on outings, etc. It's a harmless (and adorable) phase, and she'll grow out of it soon enough. Julie
I would lighten up. It's not going to hurt to have her lovie around.
Do not limit your child's need for her blankie. Especially at 2 years, when they are making such leaps and bounds developmentally, the comfort of a blankie helps them know they are safe, can be little kids, and is a self-soothing tool. Our daughter, who is 19 months, LOVES her blankie, and I see no problem with her having something that comforts her besides the arms of her parents. The only rule we have is that she can't take it out of the house (unless we spend the night somewhere else) and not in her stroller - because she almost lost it once that way, and that was not a good experience for any of us (fortunately, we found it and also got a second one, just in case). We explained to her that it's too risky to take it out because we don't want to lose it. But she certainly takes it out of her room all the time, and loves sitting with it, playing with it with her dolls, etc. I see no problem with that.
blankie lover
A backup that's not exactly like the original?
June 2005
My 18 month old son is deeply attached to a certain type of lovie (a blankie with stuffed animal head attached) and of course we only have one. I'm trying to find a second one that is EXACTLY the same but have found out that it's been discontinued by Carters. On Ebay, I've found 'similar' items but not the exact same one. I definitely need to buy one for him, but I'm not sure whether to get one thats as similar as possible to the original or go for something that looks quite different. Does anyone have any advice about getting a second lovey that's not exactly like the original? Sounds like a trivial concern but it's a major upheaval at our house whenever this lovie goes missing! liz
Your son is still quite young, and having a little ''family'' of lovies could work. He still may be happiest with the original, or could grow attached to all (!), Maybe try having one for car only, or house only... But only he can decide if one that is similar or completely different will do.... it's usually not in the appearance, but in the odor, texture, particular way it fits under the chin, etc. My kids became attached to cheap flannel baby blankets that disintegrated to mere threads. They weren't replacable - color and texture from touch and washings are only achievable from age. The older one accepted a new and different one at age 4, but still gets sad when he sees the remnants of the original (we keep it as a souvenir). The younger one initially accepted her replacement, but occasionally rejects it in favor of her quickly disappearing rags. Love the Luvvies
Try both. Your son seems young enough that something different may work. My daughter was the same age when we had to get her more of her favorite stuffed animal. We were pleasantly surprised how she took to variety. We now have about 4 of them, all loved by her. anon
My child has a lovey like what you are describing from the Nordstrom's children's dept. Its just one square foot of blanket and a soft dog head attached. I also think Potter Barn Kids has similar things. good luck
My son has a Comfy Cozy Doggie by Gund. It's like a blanket with a doggie head attached to it (it's blue) and he absolutely adores it. It sounds like what you're talking about. The store at BabyCenter.com sells them (Dog, Lamb, Cow, Frog, etc.), and also CherishedPresents.com has a good selection. Try looking up Comfy Cozy on Google for other options. Hope this helps! Elise
IT would be helpful if you had described the lovie - I think we have at least two like you described that our baby never had any interest in and would be willing to just give you if it was the same kind. Tell us all what you are looking for in the next post and maybe someone can help you. trying to help
My son became incredibly attached to two stuffed puppies when he was about 18 months old, so I thought I was smart to buy ''back- up'' puppies in case one got lost. Ha! He found the back-up puppies when he was around two years old, and instead of keeping track of two puppies, I now have to keep track of four! And he has always known which are the old (original) puppies and which are the new. Bottom line, it's a good idea to have a back-up lovie, but more than likely it won't work if you need to substitute for the ''real thing!'' good luck!
After a near loss of my daughter's one and only blanky, I searched for one exactly like it and found one almost like it, but not exact. Rather than try to pass it off as the original, I introduced it as Blanky 2. Now, when Blanky 1 is in the laundry or we can't find it, I can give her Blanky 2 and she's just as happy. Sometimes both blankies end up in bed with her, and she doesn't seem to mind. I think it's more important for them to know they have blankies to hold for comfort, and less important that there is just one. Of course, all kids are different, so you never know. Gal
Get a backup lovie as close to the original as possible! My son is addicted to the Gund Comfy Cozy Puppy and we have 2, and even that feels like not enough as one is usually dirty and in need of a wash or misplaced temporarily! You wouldn't happen to be looking for a pale blue soft blanket-like lovie with satin edging and a zebra or bear or puppy head on the top of it, out of kind of a fleece fabric? I have one that was a gift and we never used- but I can't remember what animal head was on top. You would be welcome to it if that is the lovie that he uses. Good luck! lou
Check out www.ohbabygift.com Then select the link for taggies/security blankets. You might find something similar to your child's lovey! Julie
Making two blankies from one
October 2003
My 14 month-old daughter has a blanket that she loves. It was bought as a gift last X-mas & I can not find another one like it. It doesn't even have a tag on it & the person who gave it to her can't remember where he bought it. Anyway, I read that she is still at an age where I can cut the blankie in 2 & she won't notice. She seriously loves this blankie-- 1) we would be totally screwed if we lost it & 2) she carries it around with her so it gets washed a lot-- hence the need for a 'back up'. The problem is this: I can't even sew on a button! Does anyone know how to do this? The tricky thing is is is a delicate yarn with a pretty loose weave/knit (see how non-domestic I am?!?!?). PLEASE HELP ME!!! I will pay top $$$
Thanks in advance, virginia
A loosely woven blanket must be cut into two pieces carefully. Fold it in half, and mark the fold with chalk, soap or a basting thread. Then use a sewing machine to sew lines about 1/4 inch from each side of the mark. The machine stitch will hold the fabric together while you cut it in half. Then use binding or ribbon to finish the edge. Fold it in half lengthwise, iron it, and pin it to the cut edge so it encloses the edge. Then use the machine to sew it down. Voila!! Two blankies!
Repair of Beloved Blanket
March 2003
Our daughter just commented the other day that she expects to be the first president of the United States who goes to Washington with a special ''blankie.'' Which made me realize I better take some action to keep blankie intact for the next forty or so years. ''Blankie'' is a small, square woven blanket our daughter received at birth from Garnet Hill and the weaving has given way in the very center. So I am searching for a genius re-weaver or alterations magician and didn't find anything on the archives that fit the bill. (Trying Garnet Hill for a replacement didn't work and Rena will accept no substitutes). Many thanks! Deborah
I repaired my blanket a while back by meticulously hand-stitching it to a backing of raw silk which is a very durable fabric that I liked the texture of. I suggest that you ask your daughter if she would consider this. You could pick out the fabric together and if the silk wouldn't work for her, pick something else. The end result might not be as beautiful as the original in a purely aesthetic sense, for me that wasn't as important as the tactile qualities and continuity of it. I used to repair rugs and learned a couple of stiches that could be handy depending on the type of blanket. Feel free to e-mail me if you decide to go this route and want a little help. Natalie
There was a little storefront behind Poulet that specialized in reweaving and requilting. (This is near the corner of Virginia and Shattuck.) I'm not sure if the woman who did the work is still there but you might drive by. Maybe a quilt patch in the center made of a fabric with some significance to Rena? BTW, I'm looking forward to the day she takes control of the White House with the help of her blankie. Ann
Duplicating the Blankie
September 2002
We are desperately seeking a duplicate ''blankie'' for my son. It's made by Carter's and it's the John Lennon Real Love series from about 2 years ago. It's yellow on one side and white on the other side; the white side has pictures of little animals and the yellow side has pictures of little animals and says ''John Lennon'' over and over. I have looked everywhere but apparently Carter's doesn't make this one anymore. Does anyone have one they can bear to part with?? We'd be happy to pay for it. Alternatively, has anyone tried cutting a blankie in half?? I'm afraid my son will notice and freak out if we do that...but we really need to be able to keep one at daycare for him. Thanks! Gigi
I googled Carter John Lennon blanket. You can buy it at the Baby Center for 18.95 http://store.babycenter.com/product/nursery/solids_and_blankets/solid_and_print_blankets/1085 susan
I believe I have the blankie you're looking for. Contact me at Helena
My friend's daughter uses the same John Lennon ''da-tee'' (yellow/white animal receiving blanket). The mom (in the Davis area) bought two: one at Mervyns and the other at Sears. She has a friend using this theme for her new baby and says the items are still available at these stores. Anyway, you might want to check before you cut the blanket! Jenne
I've got the blanket you're looking for. I'll be happy to give it to you. Ours is still in great condition. My e-mail is jane
We currently live on the east coast and am happy to send you the blanket you described. Let me know if you are not able to find one more locally. Best, Gail
Gigi, We might have a copy of the blanket you're looking for. The description sounds VERY similar to what you're after. The copyright on the tag of our Carters blanket reads: 2000 Emu Namae. Send me an e-mail if this sounds right. -Linnea
We have this blanket and are willing to give it up if you can't find it anywhere else (we still use it every night in our toddler's crib). Please e-mail me and let me know if you will need it. Kim
I have a John lennon yellow/white blanket that we can part with. Email me and I will give you my address, etc. I know how important a blanket is; my 3 year old has 3 of the same blankets! Jennifer
Sounds like you've got lots of options, but in case anyone is wondering about cutting the blankie in half, I tried it and it worked fine. My hope was to prolong the blankie's life by cutting down on wear and tear on each half. The kid never noticed. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I really reduced the wear and tear, since each half got twice as much love per square inch... VM
Lovey Back-up
Dec 2000
I was very moved by the long post by the adoptive parents with the boy and the transitional object (known in our house as a lovie) named Boo. [Editor: see Adopted Children and Sleep for that discussion.] I thought it was a very good letter, but I have a practical suggestion. Based on our lovie experience, I would strongly advise anyone whose kid seems to be attaching to a particular stuffed animal or blanket to RUN, not walk, to buy a second one right away. My son has a lamb which he loves, and we managed to track down a duplicate (at some effort, let me tell you) fairly early on. When Lambie gets too grubby, I just whisk him off for a wash, and sub in his twin, who is now equally broken in. This relieves some of our fear of losing Lambie, and we don't even know anymore which is Lambie No. 1. And my son is none the wiser. Wendy
One more thing about getting a backup lovie: Copy down *everything* on the stuffed animal's tag. The brand name (e.g. Gund) and all the numbers on the tag guarantee that you can reorder the toy, rather than having to go in to a store a year later with a desperate and vague description of Little Jane's pink-earred furry grey cat. It also helped me order the backup toy on the web. If you do want to have two lovies in commission simultaneously, start the switch early: my second child rejected the newer toy because it just didn't smell right. - sarah s.
In my family the lovie was always a blankie, which my mom promptly cut into pieces and put new blanket binding on so that there would always be a spare for washing and emergencies. Frequent rotation ensured that all pieces had that special smell and feel. This can be helpful if it isn't possible to buy a new one as a backup. I also was very moved by the piece on sleeping issues with an adopted baby - thank you for sharing your experience with the group. -Charis
How to Introduce a Lovey
October 2001
I would like my daughter (8 months) to have a special blanket or stuffed animal -- a transitional object or lovey -- but have no idea how to go about facilitating this attachment. I have a few specific questions -- 1) Is there an age when this is appropriate (or easier) to do? 2) On the subject of age, I know that the AAP recommends against blankets and stuffed animals in the crib because they have been linked with SIDS. At 8 months, is my daughter past the age where we need to worry about this? 3) Any recommendations on what type of object (such as a blanket or stuffed animal or something else) works best? Are there any features which help (one of the soft toys under consideration has a small rattle sound; one blanket has a crinkly part in the center...)? 4) Do you pick the object yourself or somehow let the child show a preference? -- but mainly I want to know, HOW does one go about introducing a lovey and getting your child attached to it?? Thanks to all for your help Anonymous
I recommend offering the item to your child often (e.g., when you pick them up from a nap or drive in the car or go for a walk in the stroller). My other recommendation is whatever ends up as the lovey, make sure you have an extra identical copy or two stashed away in the closet. We have several extra blankets in the closet for both of my daughters. When an old one gets lost we introduce a new one. The new ones probably don't have the same smell or aura of love, but they will soon. anonymous
To the mom looking for a lovey: check out www.lillamonsters.com. They are hand made flannel blankets with satin around the edges and come in a variety of patterns. Jamie
My 1 1/2 year old daughter carries a little blanket called a Comfort Silkie that we got as a birth gift. It's a 14 inch square with satin on one side and flannel on the other. It's easily replaceable, washable, portable, and has a handy loop to attach it to a button or stroller harness. When she was about 5 months old and able to roll over, I would put it in the crib under her body with the vague notion that she would become more attached to something that smelled like her. When we went out, I'd tuck one of the corners into her pants so it would be right under her hand. We also played a lot of hide and seek with it. Now she will not be separated from it and falls asleep stroking the satin. I have several that I rotate so that she gets attached to the type of blanket, not just a specific one, so when one gets lost, it's not a crisis.
We gave our now 9-month-old daughter a comfort object when we were teaching her to sleep in her own crib. Actually, we started giving her the lovey before then(when she still slept in our bed/room), so it would smell like us and be associated with comfort and mom and dad. I just went down to Rockridge Kids and found a little square blanket with flannel one side and satin on the other. We call it her softy and started giving it to her around 5 months. I asked her dr. about blankets in the be and he said as long as she was able to roll over and back, she'd be ok. This softy is really small, too. So we just started giving it to her for naps and bedtime and cuddling up with it when getting started on the bedtime routine. Now she loves it and grabs it and cuddles with it as soon as she goes into her crib. She's not even really interested in a pacifier anymore, but must have her softy! We got a second one, too, so she can take one when she's with her babysitter and in case one gets lost. It's great for traveling, too--a little piece of comfort and home when baby is somewhere else. I think there are also crib-safe stuffed animals. Our daughter has one of those, too, but doesn't really cuddle up with it when it's sleeping time. I think the rattle in it kind of gets her into play mode, since I often see her playing with that one when she wakes up from her nap. I don't see why you can't get your child interested in a lovey at 8 months; you just need to introduce it and keep providing it. Also you can start by cuddling up with it yourself so it smells like you. There are even special blankets that are made to absorb your scent. They may be for younger babies, I don't know. Hope that helps! Kate
Introducing a Lovey: My experience is that there is a mysterious chemistry between a child and her/his lovey. It's rather like falling in love. The most you can do is provide suitable objects. Some kids find a lovey; others don't. My daughter just took her lovey to college with her (they've been together since she was 3). My son always played the field; he loved the lovey he was with when he was younger and now has pretty much given them up.
At my baby shower I received a gift set with a small blanket (about 12 x 15) which, at the time, I was convinced served no real purpose. I threw it in my son's crib. It is almost 4 years later and his silkie remains his most beloved possession. The thing is, it was unintentional, so I'm not sure it would have worked had we planned it. I do know one reason he loves it is that one side is satiny, and I've known many kids who find that very comforting. (my brother used to walk around with one of our mom's slips). I know a mom's nightgown/shirt is a common lovey; just keep in mind practicality. One of the benefits of a lovey is the comfort and security it can provide in a new situation, such as a new daycare-so probably mom's underwear wouldn't be the best choice. In my experience, and from what I've heard, it is the child who transforms an object into a lovey. You could of course pick something and see if it sticks. Keep in mind, loveys, like imaginary friends, are used as needed. Many children have no inclination or need for such an object, finding security and comfort elsewhere. It's funny, we named silkie silkie because on the tag it actually sayscomfort silkie(we're so original). There's also a # to the company, if you're interested: 1-800-266-BABY. Good Luck!
I think it is a little easier to do at less than 8 months but not at all impossible. We used the comfort silkie blankey that is about the size of a large handkerchief - not a SIDS risk from what I understand. It is satin on one side and satin-hemmed. He basically sucks on the corner to put himself to sleep (and it works great! I still remember the night I heard him wake up and then over the baby monitor I heard him chawing on the blanket and then fall back to sleep!! JOY!) The downside to the object attachment is you can't ever lose the thing or you'll be toast. The upside is that we could probably make him fall asleep hanging upside down from a tree, as long as we gave him the blankey. Before we gave it to him, I slept with it for a few nights under my t-shirt. After that I would just tuck it next to him or put it in his hand when I put him down. I bought a second one so I would be able to wash Blankey No. 1, but Nother Blankey has never acquired the allure of Blankey No. 1 (he often asks for both now, though). Some kids seem to carry their blankeys or objects with them everywhere, but we've had pretty good success telling him the Blankey stays in the crib (or in the bedroom). It is also helpful to impose this rule so you don't find yourself turning the house upside down at 9 p.m. looking for it. I'm a little worried that he'll still be using the thing in college, but maybe he can just find a girlfriend with a flannel shirt.